


It's a Dalton Tradition

by melblue



Category: Glee
Genre: First Time, Friendship, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melblue/pseuds/melblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is one tradition at Dalton for which Kurt is entirely unprepared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please read these notes carefully before reading the story as they stand in lieu of warnings for the story.
> 
> I was researching the tradition of 'fagging' at boy's boarding schools for something else and this idea jumped up and beat me over the head until I had to do it. I'm not sure if it's been done before for Dalton but I really wanted to have a go at transposing the idea into a modern setting myself, and Kurt and Sebastian seemed like the perfect fit for it. Besides, I absolutely adore Kurtbastian.
> 
> A little explanation about 'fagging':  
> Fagging was a traditional educational practice in British boarding private schools (nearly all "public schools" in the English sense) and also many other boarding schools, whereby younger pupils were required to act as personal servants to the most senior boys. While domestic servants were common in family households, the custom reflected household task distribution and taught pupils about service from both ends of the relationship. Under school rules, fagging might entail harsh discipline and corporal punishment when those were standard practices.
> 
> Fagging was sometimes associated with sexual abuse at the hands of these older boys.
> 
> Fagging was a fully established system at St Pauls, Eton and Winchester in the 16th century, and may well date back to the Medieval discipline of the monasteries which founded most of the great public schools. During the 19th century, almost all British public schools had a fagging system, and the numerous new boarding schools founded for the children of the British Empire generally adopted the system as a natural reflection of society. The practice of personal fagging faded away during the 1970s and 1980s, but to some degree has been maintained in former colonies or has been replaced by systems which require junior boys to do tasks for the benefit of the general school community.
> 
> -Summary from the Wikipedia page - (If you want a more detailed history there is more infomation at the Wikipedia page that this summary comes from - just look up 'fagging')
> 
> There is a 'Mildly Dubious Consent' tag on this story because of the above 'fagging' plotline, but there are no actual dubious consent sex scenes in the story. The tag is there because this could be seen as a power imbalance relationship - and if this disturbs you, and you have read these notes and perhaps the prologue and you are still disturbed - then please DON'T continue to read the story.
> 
> Also, although there's nothing explicit for the implied Blaine/Jeff, I'll give an underage warning because Jeff is a freshman in this story.
> 
> Now for some general notes:  
> This starts after 'Furt' and then becomes a complete au. I've gone with the ages that we were originally given or were at least implied for Kurt and Blaine at the beginning of Season 2, namely that Kurt had been retconned back into being a sophomore and Blaine was a junior. Sebastian is a senior in this story, and Dalton is a boarding school.  
> I've also gone with the characterisation for Kurt from the episode 'Sexy', in that he's avoiding learning about sex, and isn't confident with himself sexually, although he is confident in that he feels he's absolutely not ready for it and prefers romance.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Glee and am making no profit from this story.
> 
> There has also been some amazing artwork/cover art created for this story by some incredibly talented tumblr users, which you can find on the 'it's a dalton tradition' tag on tumblr.  
> As well as this - tumblr user dannyseguel has created an absolutely beautiful trailer for this fic, which you can view on youtube. Here's a link:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zl4lggumbsY
> 
> Words can't express how much I admire the talent of these creative people and I'm incredibly grateful that they've made such wonderful stuff for something I wrote!  
> And now, finally, on with the story...

Kurt walks through the doors of the Lima Bean and sighs with relief when he sees that Blaine's already there. His heart gives it's usual leap at the sight of Blaine, especially when Blaine looks up and smiles as he spots Kurt. Kurt gives him a little wave, and his eyes widen slightly when he sees that Blaine's already got coffee for him and really, can this boy get any more perfect?

He's still feeling a little shaken. When he'd gotten up that morning he'd had no idea that by the end of the day he'd be going to a new school. Everything's happened so fast, but now the nerves are settling in. He's free of Karofsky and McKinley, but what will Dalton really be like? And he isn't so sure that he's ready to leave home and his dad either.

He takes a deep breath, plasters a smile on his face, and then quickly walks over to Blaine's table and sinks into a chair.

"Well," he says, wondering what Blaine's reaction will be to his news, and hoping it will be something like ecstatic delight, "you are looking at Dalton's newest sophomore."

Blaine just looks stunned though and Kurt can't really tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"What? How?" Blaine blurts out, and then he frowns, his warm amber eyes full of concern and Kurt can't help feeling a little breathless. Blaine's eyes have a tendency to do that to him. "What's happened?"

Kurt shrugs, trying to be nonchalant, but inside his heart is beating fast and the anger and despair he'd felt during the terrible conversation in the school office at McKinley is stirring again.

"The school board overturned Karofsky's expulsion," he says.

Blaine is silent for a moment and then he reaches out and places his hand on top of Kurt's. It's warm and comforting and Kurt's breathing gets shallow again as he smiles shyly.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine says, and Kurt can't help feeling disappointed when Blaine pulls his hand away, but he's also feeling like he should be a little careful because this crush he's got on Blaine is getting stronger every time he sees him, and he has no idea how Blaine feels.

They're both silent for a moment, staring at the table, and Kurt thinks that Blaine looks a little uncomfortable, and he's desperately trying to think of something to say, when Blaine looks up and smiles nervously.

"So, you're coming to Dalton?" Blaine asks, and Kurt nods.

"Yeah," he says. "It was Dad and Carole's idea. The school did a special transfer and I'll come in to board on Wednesday night, so I've got tomorrow to pack. I start classes on Thursday…" he trails off, aware that he's now kind of babbling but the strange look on Blaine's face is sort of unsettling.

"What's wrong?" he can't help asking, "Don't you think I should come to Dalton?"

He's relieved when Blaine looks up with a contrite expression and shakes his head.

"No, Kurt, really," he says quickly. "I'm glad you're coming to Dalton and I know you'll be a wonderful addition to the Warblers as well. It's just…"

"It's just?" Kurt prompts, and his brow rises when Blaine takes a deep breath.

"It's just that I've not really told you everything there is to know about being at Dalton," he says.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asks and the anxiety must be clear in his voice because Blaine places his hand over Kurt's again.

"Have you ever heard of fagging?" Blaine asks in a low voice, practically a whisper, and Kurt cannot believe his ears.

" _Blaine!_ "

"Yeah, I know, it sounds awful," Blaine says quickly, still in that low voice. "But that's what it used to be called. It was something that happened in English boarding schools and Dalton sort of prides itself on following the English tradition. Although we don't call it that any more, of course, we call it being a 'canary'. Dalton likes its bird themes," he adds, and he actually winks at Kurt.

Kurt's kind of still too shocked and confused to really appreciate that though and when he finally manages to find his voice, he's surprised that it isn't a strangled whisper.

"Blaine, what _on earth_ are you talking about?"

Blaine's hand squeezes his for a moment and then he leans back in his chair and takes a sip from his coffee, as if he really has to think about what he's going to say next. Kurt takes a sip of his own coffee, mostly just to distract himself from the nervous tension that's suddenly making his stomach feel tight.

"It's a sort of system," Blaine finally says. "A system where upperclassmen choose underclassmen to do things for them. Like run errands, get coffee, that sort of thing, and if the underclassmen have problems they can go to the upperclassmen for help."

"Okay," Kurt says slowly, because whilst that sounds potentially irritating it also doesn't sound as bad as he'd thought it might.

"Sometimes it can go a little further," Blaine says, and now Kurt's confused again.

"You mean, like doing homework for them?" he asks, frowning.

For a moment he thinks that Blaine might be going to laugh, but when Blaine just shakes his head, he wonders if he imagined it.

"That's not allowed," Blaine says. "Back in the 1970's someone got expelled for doing that, so they sort of put it in the rules."

"There are rules?" Kurt asks, still struggling to get a clear idea of what exactly Blaine is telling him. "So, the teachers know about all this, then?"

"Not really," Blaine says. "I mean they know that we help each other out, but they don't know how… um… formalized it is, or that we have rules and stuff. We look after that side of it ourselves."

"I still don't understand," Kurt says.

Blaine looks at him for a moment with something like sympathy in his eyes.

"Okay," he finally says. "I'll spell it out. Sometimes the relationship between the canary and his mentor can become… um… sexual."

Kurt is fairly certain that his jaw is hanging open in a very unattractive fashion and that he's even more pale than usual because it feels like all the blood has drained from his face. He's still trying to come to the terms with the word 'sexual' in that sentence let alone trying to deal with what Blaine actually meant by it.

"That's… that's…" he starts to say and he's not sure what other words he's going to be able to form other than 'obscene' and 'disgusting'.

"Look, it's not as bad as it sounds," Blaine says, and Kurt's beginning to wonder if this is really _his_ Blaine sitting across from him and not some sort of evil twin from another universe.

"I mean, you have the right to say no, Kurt," he continues, and Kurt's rapidly beating heart starts to settle until Blaine adds, "but if your mentor is interested in you then he has the right to try to… um… well, let's say 'court' you."

And Kurt might be confused but he's pretty sure what that means and he's not walking away from one situation like that and right into another.

"That's sexual harassment, Blaine," he says firmly. "I thought that Dalton had a zero tolerance bullying policy."

"We do," Blaine replies, "and, believe it or not, this is actually one of the ways that the students themselves enforce it." He sighs heavily and rubs a hand over his face. "I'm not explaining this very well."

"No, you're not," Kurt huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "And I'm inclined to believe that you're pulling my leg. Thanks for that, by the way, because it's not like I'm nervous enough already."

"I'm not pulling your leg," Blaine says flatly, and Kurt narrows his eyes.

"Oh, so you were a ' _canary_ ' were you?" he asks sarcastically, and it's not something he normally does because he thinks it's pretentious, but he can't stop himself from using air quotes.

"No," Blaine says, just as sarcastically, "I only started at Dalton this year. But if your next question is do I have a ' _canary_ ' myself, then the answer is yes. His name is Jeff."

Kurt knows that he probably looks shocked. He's also horrified at how much a part of him wants to ask about exactly what sort of canary Jeff is to Blaine, and he finds himself actually physically biting his own tongue as he stares at the other boy.

Blaine flushes a bit, and looks a little defensive, but he holds Kurt's gaze.

"It's a Dalton tradition, Kurt," he finally says, and for some reason Kurt shivers.

"Well, I'm not doing it," Kurt says, firmly.

Blaine's still looking defensive but Kurt sees compassion in his eyes as well.

"Look, I really wouldn't recommend that, Kurt," he says. "Being a canary, it's sort of a protection. Without a mentor, you'll be seen as fresh meat that's anybody's for the taking."

Kurt's eyes widen. "You told me Dalton wasn't a gay school," he says, in some confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, for god's sake, Kurt," Blaine says, and he sounds a bit impatient but there's also something like amusement in his eyes, and Kurt doesn't like that either. "It's a _boy's_ boarding school, full of _teenage_ boys. Aside from the fact that there are more gay guys there than you'd normally find at a public school, most of the straight guys aren't exactly afraid to experiment a bit if it gets them off and if the boy is pretty enough."

He pauses for a moment, eyeing Kurt, and Kurt flushes a little because he's been called 'ladyface' often enough to realize that he's probably the exact kind of 'pretty' that Blaine is talking about.

"And, yeah," Blaine continues, "they'll back off if you say no, but they'll also keep approaching you in the hope that eventually you'll say yes. Having a mentor protects you from all that."

"I'm still not doing it," Kurt says, sinking back in his seat a little because he's beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by everything that Blaine is telling him, and it's making him scared.

"That's exactly what Jeff thought," Blaine says. "He's a freshman, and at the start of the year he refused to be a canary. He spent the next three weeks fending off advances until he couldn't stand it anymore and then he came and _begged_ me to be his mentor. Now, sure, there are guys who don't have mentors and enjoy spreading it around. They have a great time, but they're also known as the school sluts. I have a feeling that's not for you, Kurt."

Kurt shudders and shakes his head. "What, so the alternative is some sort of individualized prostitution? I'm going to say it, Blaine, this whole thing is obscene and I can't believe you've gone along with it."

He can't keep the disappointment out of his voice and he can see that Blaine's hurt by it, and perhaps a little angered as well because his mouth goes tight for a moment.

"It's really not as bad as you're thinking, Kurt," Blaine eventually says, and Kurt plainly hears the forced patience in his voice. "The likelihood is that you'll get someone who doesn't want anything to happen, and even if you do get someone who's interested in you, you still don't have to do anything you don't want to do with him."

"Except, as you put it, fend off his advances," Kurt mutters, and he hears Blaine sigh.

"Well, one person trying it on with you occasionally is going to be a lot easier to handle than, like, twenty," he says, "and it won't be like that anyway. Yes, he'll show his interest, but he knows that if he goes too far you can complain to the Head boy, and he'll be investigated, and probably end up banned from having a canary for the rest of his time at Dalton."

Kurt sighs, and when he finally meets Blaine's eyes he finds them full of earnest reassurance, and it melts his heart a little. The whole thing is still shocking, but he's sort of grateful to Blaine for telling him about it, he has to admit. It would have been hell to walk into Dalton totally unprepared for all of this.

"Thanks for warning me, I guess," he says softly, and Blaine's smile is blinding as usual, and Kurt can't help wondering if he would feel so terrible about all of this if he knew that Blaine was going to be his 'mentor'.

"Can you have more than one canary?" he asks before he can stop himself. Blaine looks confused for a moment, and then his face clears and he blushes a little as he looks at Kurt.

"I don't know," he says. "Quite often a mentor will discard a canary to be reclaimed, in order to take on another one, or they'll do a swap, but Kurt, I really couldn't do that to Jeff. I could check the rules, but the thing is that I'm only a junior. The seniors get first choice."

Kurt's heart sinks but he looks at Blaine still with a little hope. "Maybe none of the seniors will choose me."

"I don't think that will happen," Blaine says doubtfully, his eyes drifting over Kurt's face and Kurt feels a sudden swooping tension in his stomach. Then Blaine blinks and looks away, and Kurt sighs.

"Besides, you'll be a Warbler," Blaine adds. "There's a lot of prestige in having a Warbler as your canary. Um… no pun intended."

Kurt can't help rolling his eyes, even as he shifts restlessly in his chair. Blaine's given him a lot to think about, and at the moment he feels trapped between one bad situation at McKinley and another potentially bad one at Dalton. All the nervous excitement he'd felt at going to Dalton, and being closer to Blaine, is gone now, replaced with a sort of sick dread, and the worst thing is that there's nothing he can really do about it – there's no way he can tell his dad that he doesn't want to go now, not after everything they've gone through to get him there.

He feels bone-tired as he looks at Blaine's composed face and he wonders if he should really believe all the reassurances that Blaine's given him that it won't be so bad. He really needs some time and space to think, so he suddenly gets to his feet.

Blaine looks surprised for a moment and then he quickly stands as well.

"Thanks, Blaine," Kurt says, taking Blaine's hand for a moment and squeezing it. "I've really got to go but thanks for coming and meeting me."

Blaine nods. "I should be getting back for curfew anyway," he says. "I'll see you on Wednesday night, right?"

Kurt nods and then heads out to his car quickly. He drives home in a sort of numb daze and he can only be thankful that he knows the route so well when he finally reaches home.

His dad, and Carole and Finn, seem to easily accept his silence over dinner. When Kurt finally escapes to his new bedroom he looks around for a moment and his heart aches a little that he's barely finished decorating it before he now has to leave it. Then he goes straight to his laptop.

He looks up 'fagging'. He doesn't find much, mainly just general confirmation of what Blaine has told him, but he does find some stuff written by people who went to school with the system in England. Some of it is scary (he has no idea what 'buggery' means and he's not going to try to find out) but some of them make it sound sort of innocent and romantic, and he's not sure what to think of that.

Just before he goes to bed, his phone dings with a text, and Kurt has to smile when he sees that it's from Blaine.

' _Are you okay?'_ it says. _'I really didn't want to scare you or anything.'_

Kurt sighs and reflects that for the first time he's not going to be completely honest with Blaine.

' _I'm fine,'_ he sends back. _'I'll see you on Wednesday.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt's managed to calm down by the time Wednesday afternoon rolls around and he's in the car with his dad on the way to Dalton. It's a good thing too, he thinks, because Burt is looking fairly tense, and if he guessed that Kurt has what feels like a stone block of utter dread sitting in his stomach… well, Kurt doesn't know what his father would do. He hasn't seen his dad cry often, and it breaks his heart when it happens, so he really doesn't want to see it now.

He's relieved that Carole and Finn have stayed home. Saying goodbye to them when they've all just become a family was hard, but he's glad that he's alone with his dad for this trip, and not just because of the extra room in the car for his stuff.

They don't talk about anything that's happened though, not Karofsky or the change of schools. It's just things like how it's going at the shop, or some joke that Finn had made that nobody had understood, or how Burt wants to take Carole away somewhere for a weekend soon, but it makes Kurt feel more settled and he's thankful for it.

Finally they arrive at Dalton, and the buildings look warm and mellow in the afternoon sun, surrounded by spreading trees wearing their fall colours. It's a pretty picture and Kurt sighs a little as he tightens his Dalton scarf around his throat, picks up the remaining bags and follows his dad into the main building.

Mr. Trent, who introduces himself as Kurt's housemaster, meets them inside and then takes them to Kurt's dorm room. They meet a few boys along the way, even though classes haven't finished yet, and Kurt can't help shivering a little when he feels their speculative eyes running over him. They're probably just curious, he knows, but he can't help thinking of what Blaine has told him and he walks a little closer to Burt.

"Here we are," Mr. Trent says, flinging open a door and Kurt goes through looking around curiously. "You'll be sharing with another student, of course, and he'll be along shortly to show you around and help you settle in. He's a freshman, which is a little unusual, but this was the only space we had available. His name is Jeff and he's a Warbler so we thought that would work well as you'll also be a Warbler."

Kurt starts a little at the mention of Jeff. It has to be Blaine's Jeff he thinks, and suddenly he's very curious to meet him.

The housemaster is looking at him expectantly so Kurt quickly nods and thanks him and then Mr. Trent leaves them alone.

His dad looks around the room and then looks at Kurt. "Well, kiddo," he says, "this seems pretty nice. Good view too," he adds, nodding at the window.

The room is quite large with two extra wide single beds (a luxury that Kurt is grateful for, thinking of his double back at home). The walls are off-white and very clean, and he's surprised that the floor is actually carpeted in a darkish brown colour with some kind of pattern in it. The antique style furniture is brown too, but it's beautifully made in wood, large closets and the two desks both have comfortable leather chairs. The bedspreads and drapes are Dalton red, and it all seems to have a rich, cosy feel to it that Kurt finds very impressive.

He's even more impressed when he opens a door and finds a small ensuite bathroom attached to the room.

"Well," Burt says, grinning at Kurt, "it's nice to know we're getting a lot for our money."

Kurt returns the smile but he can't help feeling a little guilty because if Kurt weren't here, his dad and Carole would probably be on their way to their honeymoon by now.

They unpack Kurt's things, although his father is more hindrance than help, Kurt thinks fondly, and when they're finally finished they stand in the middle of the room and look at each other.

"Right," Burt finally says, "if you need anything, Kurt, you call, okay? Any time."

Kurt nods, his throat heavy, and then his father hugs him tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, Kurt," he says. "Make sure you come home on the weekends as often as they'll let you."

"Yeah, Dad," Kurt whispers, "I'll miss you too."

"All right then," his dad says in a thick voice and then suddenly he's gone, and Kurt is staring blindly at the closed door.

He's still staring at it a few moments later when it opens and a tall boy with a shock of blonde hair falling over his face walks in. He stops when he sees Kurt and grins, holding out his hand.

"You must be Kurt," he says, "I'm Jeff. I'm a friend of Blaine's; he's already told all of us Warblers about you. Welcome to Dalton."

"Thanks," Kurt says softly, shaking Jeff's hand and trying not to stare at him too much, but it's like a sudden burning curiosity has flared up inside him and he wants to ask Jeff all the questions that have been whirling in his mind.

He can't though, because there's still a little part of him that thinks that maybe Blaine was making it all up. He hadn't thought Blaine would be the type to make such a cruel joke but then he hasn't really known Blaine for that long either, and he also doesn't want to make a fool of himself in front of Jeff if none of it was true.

"I hope you don't mind giving up your privacy?" he asks instead, and Jeff laughs.

"No, it'll be fun," he says, and Kurt smiles in relief. "Besides, it's usually only the seniors who have rooms of their own, so I've been lucky to get away with a single for as long as I have."

"Okay, so I'm supposed to show you around," Jeff continues. "You know, the dining room, library, stuff like that. Want to go now?"

Kurt nods and follows Jeff out of the room.

"So, where is Blaine?" he asks as they walk along the corridor, heading for the stairs.

"Oh, he's at soccer practice," Jeff says, "but he'll be around later. He wanted me to tell you about the Warblers. He played them a recording of you and you've already been signed up. We have a meeting on Friday afternoon and you'll be officially welcomed then."

"You mean I don't have to audition?" Kurt asks.

"Blaine asked if they could waive it, special circumstances about your transfer or something," Jeff replies, eyeing Kurt curiously. "Thad was going to be difficult, but Sebastian, he's the Head boy of the school and the chair of the Warbler's council, well, he agreed. So, you're in."

And now Kurt finds himself feeling a little guilty about having some doubts about Blaine's honesty, when he's done something so kind for Kurt, and he really wishes he could find some way of really knowing the truth because he feels like this uncertainty is going to drive him insane.

He follows Jeff through various corridors and classrooms, hoping that he'll actually remember some of it so he can find his way the next day. Finally Jeff decides they should go to the dining room and they're on the way there when a stocky looking student with black hair stops them with a hand on Jeff's arm.

"Hello, Jeff," he says, with a smile that looks to Kurt like more of a sneer.

Jeff sort of nods and then the guy looks at Kurt. "Who's this?" he asks.

"This is Kurt," Jeff says shortly, and Kurt can hear tension in his voice. "He's new."

"Are you an underclassman?"

"I'm a sophomore," Kurt says, thankful that his voice doesn't waver because he really doesn't like the way the boy's eyes are roaming over his body. Finally he meets Kurt's gaze and he gives him the same sneering smirk that he gave Jeff.

"Good," he says, and he winks, and then walks away.

"Fucking jerk," Jeff mutters under his breath and Kurt can only agree.

"Who is he?" he asks, a little breathlessly and Jeff gives him a concerned look.

"Don't worry about him, okay," he says. "Even if you do end up in the junior commons Blaine's a Warbler so he's got seniority over that loser."

And that sounds like the confirmation that Kurt's been waiting for, and it makes him feel a little sick. He knows he's staring at Jeff with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights, but he can't seem to stop.

Jeff returns his stare for a moment and then moves closer. "Look, Blaine will probably be pissed at me for telling you, but well, we went to Wes and checked the rulebook, and talked it over, and if he gets the chance, he'll claim you okay?"

Kurt nods dumbly and he can't help sagging against the wall, because his knees are actually trembling.

"Jeez, you've really been worried about this, haven't you?" Jeff says, and he grips Kurt's arm and supports him as they walk along the corridor. "Let's get something to eat. It'll make you feel better and I'm starving."

The dining room is nothing like the cafeteria at McKinley High and Kurt thinks it's better than Breadstix as well. There are actually linen tablecloths on the large tables and there isn't any plastic in sight. It's all china and silver and glittering glass, and the food is really good, but Kurt's still feeling kind of sick so he can't appreciate it the way he'd like to.

Jeff watches him for a while and then he leans closer to Kurt. "Okay, I know Blaine told you a bit about what happened to me, but it's really not going to be as terrible as you're thinking. Yeah, it's embarrassing when they parade you but it's not for long. I was an idiot not to accept Blaine as soon as he claimed me."

Kurt ignores the little stab of jealousy he feels when he hears that Blaine had actually chosen Jeff and instead focuses on trying to not have some sort of hysterical fit in the middle of the dining room.

"What do you mean by 'parade you'?" he finally manages to ask.

"Well, at the beginning of the year they gather all the underclassmen together and the senior's come in and pick, and then the junior's come in afterwards. Of course, that won't happen now because there's only you, so they'll just take you to the senior commons and if no one claims you then you'll go to the junior commons."

"That sounds even _worse_ ," Kurt says in a strangled voice, and Jeff actually pats his hand sympathetically. It doesn't make him feel any better.

"It's worse if you refuse like I did, believe me," Jeff says, and then when Kurt gives him a horrified look Jeff pats him on the hand again. "I'm not saying that anything really bad happened, but I just kept getting approached all the time. It was driving me mad, never knowing when the next guy would try something. Most of them are polite, they ask, you say no, and they leave, but it's really embarrassing and there's some, like that fucktard Steve, who always like to take it a little further. He thinks it's funny. I was actually starting to have trouble with my grades and so I went to Blaine and as soon as I did, it all stopped. That's the way it works."

"It's _insane_ , Jeff," Kurt says. "I mean, after all the homophobia at McKinley I can't believe that all this is going on here."

Jeff shrugs. "Yeah, it must seem strange to you, but honestly, boys at boarding school just seem to experiment more. My brother went to a different boarding school and he told me it was the same there. I guess it's because we're all living together and, well, for the straight guys, they don't get to see girls all that often. Some of them do have girlfriends but if the girl is from their hometown, then it's a long distance relationship, so there tends to be this attitude of what happens at boarding school stays at boarding school. And they do seem to focus on the gay underclassmen for some reason, and it can be kind of overwhelming if you're not used to it. Of course, some of the guy's enjoy the attention, but I didn't."

"So, why did you refuse to do the canary thing then?" Kurt asks curiously.

Jeff flushes a little and gives Kurt an embarrassed smile. "It was really stupid, I guess, but aside from the fact that I didn't feel like I should have to do chores for someone else, I also didn't like the idea of needing someone to protect me." He uses air quotes on the word 'protect' but Kurt forgives him for it because he's appreciating the fact that Jeff is being so open with him and he's really starting to hope that they can be friends.

"I didn't last long," Jeff says, laughing a little. "Turns out having someone protect you isn't so bad after all."

"So, now you're okay with the whole thing?" Kurt asks.

"It's a Dalton tradition," Jeff says simply, and Kurt frowns because he's really beginning to hate that sentence. "And it works."

They eat in silence for a little while, Kurt lost in thought because Jeff's given him a lot to digest, and Jeff humming to himself softly.

"Hey guys."

They both startle a little and then look up to find Blaine standing near the table smiling at them both, and the warmth that Kurt always seems to feel when he sees Blaine, blooms in Kurt's chest.

"Welcome to Dalton, Kurt," Blaine says to Kurt, and then he looks at Jeff. "Did you get that book I needed from the library?"

"Yeah," Jeff says. "I put it in your room."

"Thanks," Blaine says, but his eyes are lingering over Kurt and he's frowning a bit. "You both look a little tense. What's going on?"

"We ran into Steve," Jeff says, and Blaine rolls his eyes. "So, I'm sorry, I know you wanted to tell him yourself, but I told Kurt what we talked about."

"God, you'll never learn to keep your mouth shut, Jeff," Blaine says, but he's smiling and Kurt's heart lurches a little at the fond look in his eyes, and now he's wondering even more about Blaine and Jeff.

Then Blaine looks at Kurt. "Don't worry about Steve," he says, earnestly. "If a senior doesn't claim you, I will. It's going to be okay, really, Kurt."

The warmth blooms in Kurt's chest again at the reassurance he can see in Blaine's eyes, but he's also actually sick of talking and thinking about the 'Dalton tradition' so he stands up.

"I might go back to our room," he says to Jeff. "I'm kind of tired."

"I'll come too," says Jeff, and then he looks at Blaine. "Unless you need me?"

"Nope," Blaine says, "I'm just going to have dinner. Stick with Kurt."

It's an easy exchange of words but it makes Kurt shiver a little because it's a reminder that Blaine actually has a kind of power over Jeff, that in some way he can control what Jeff does and when he does it. And it's the first time that Kurt really believes, without question, that what they have been telling him is true.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt's at breakfast, going over his timetable with Blaine and Jeff, and trying to figure out where his first class is, when one of the Warbler's that he originally met with Blaine comes over to their table.

"Good morning, Wes," Blaine says cheerfully, and Wes gives him a smile and then looks at Kurt.

"Hi Kurt," he says. "I need you to come to the senior commons with me."

Kurt freezes and it's on the tip of his tongue to refuse when he feels a hand squeezing his knee. It's Jeff, and he's looking at Kurt with a reassuring smile.

"Go on," he whispers. "It will be fine."

And so Kurt gets up and gathers his stuff, all the time wishing that a great hole would open up underneath him and get him out of this situation.

"Don't wait for him," Wes says to Blaine and Jeff when Kurt is ready. "There's been a lot of interest so it might take some time and then we have to go over the rules. I'll make sure he gets to class."

And Kurt follows him out of the room feeling like he's heading for some kind of doom. Wes looks at him as they walk to the commons.

"Okay, so I can tell that Blaine and Jeff explained this to you already," he says, and Kurt nods. "All right, this is what will happen. We go in, if someone claims you, we'll go to his room and we'll go over the rules. If no one claims you then at lunchtime, I'll gather the juniors and one of them will claim you. But I don't think that will be necessary because a few of the seniors have already seen you and they're interested. "

Kurt can only nod again, and Wes squeezes his arm. "Look, they know you're nervous and they won't do anything to upset you. They'll be polite."

By this time they've reached a door that Kurt instantly recognizes and Kurt can hear a lot of talking and laughing on the other side of it. Wes knocks on the door a couple of times and everything goes quiet, and then the door opens, and Wes is leading Kurt into the room.

He tries not to notice too much as he walks in but it's a little hard not to because the room is full of boys, there must be about thirty of them at least, he thinks, and they're all older and mostly taller and it's really difficult to avoid meeting their eyes. In some ways it reminds him of the first time he saw the room because that time it was full of boys too, but this time he's fairly sure they're not going to burst into song.

Finally Wes stops him on one side of the room, and as Kurt concentrates on studying the patterned wallpaper above the fireplace, he can feel that his face is beginning to flush with embarrassment.

"This is Kurt Hummel," Wes says. "He's a sophomore."

"Hi Kurt," he hears a few voices say, and they do sound friendly and polite so Kurt tries to smile a little.

"Hello," he says, in a soft voice.

"Oh, he's adorable," someone says loudly and Kurt takes an instinctive step back, almost treading on Wes's foot.

"Shut up, Brad," another voice says. "Behave yourself."

"Hey, it was a compliment," Brad says, and Kurt tries not to look but he can't help it and he sees a guy with red hair smiling in his direction. "I'll claim him."

"Yeah, well, so will I," says someone else and Kurt can feel the blush on his cheeks deepening as a few more claims are made.

"Okay, you know the rules," Wes says firmly, as the noise level rises. "Anyone who's interested stay in the room, and we'll talk about it while Kurt waits next door. I told him you'd all be well-behaved you know."

"Fine," says Brad.

"No need for that," says a new voice, "this one's mine."

The silence is so sudden and complete that Kurt has to look up from his contemplation of the floor, and he glances around the room. Finally he sees a boy slowly standing up from where he's been slouching against a couch. He's tall with wide shoulders and long legs, he's strikingly handsome and Kurt can't help admiring his immaculately styled brown hair. But there's a confident, assured smile on his face that seems arrogant, as if he's used to getting whatever he wants without question.

"Well, that's it then," Wes says in a low voice in Kurt's ear. "Congratulations, Kurt, you've just been claimed by Dalton's Head boy."

Kurt controls the urge to roll his eyes because he really doesn't think there's anything to be congratulated about in this whole situation, and then he finds himself fighting a sudden, embarrassing desire to take refuge behind Wes as the tall boy moves closer. Once he's standing in front of Kurt, he can see that the boy has vivid green eyes that are sparkling with amusement, as if he knows exactly what Kurt was thinking.

"You blush very prettily," he says, holding out his hand. "And I couldn't resist. I'm Sebastian Smythe."

And Kurt can feel that he's actually blushing again, and Sebastian looks even more amused, so Kurt lifts his chin a little, and shakes Sebastian's hand firmly.

"Kurt Hummel," he says in a clipped voice.

"I know, sweetheart," Sebastian says with a smirk on his face, and then he lifts Kurt's hand and actually presses a kiss to the back of it. It's over quickly, barely a brush of dry lips against his fingers, but Kurt's dumbfounded by it and he knows it must show on his face when Sebastian laughs and it's echoed around the room by some of the other seniors.

Immediate embarrassment floods through Kurt, swiftly followed by anger, and he practically rips his hand out of Sebastian's grasp. The only effect his reaction seems to have on Sebastian is to make the annoying smirk on his face widen and a speculative light come into his eyes.

"All right, let's go," Wes says. "I don't want Kurt to be late for class on his first day and we still have to talk about the rules."

He ushers them to the door, and Kurt finds himself walking between them along the corridor. Most of the school still seems to be at breakfast so they only meet a few students but from the way they stare at the three of them, Kurt can tell that the news of exactly who has claimed him is going to spread fast.

Finally, they get to Sebastian's room and Kurt looks around curiously. It's similar to the one he shares with Jeff, although a little smaller, and it seems to have the same private bathroom. It's a lot more personalized though, Kurt thinks, for Sebastian seems to have his own sheets on the bed in a rich, dark purple and instead of drapes, there are wooden slat blinds, half-drawn on the wide window. His desk is piled with books and sheet music, and framed album covers and streetscape photographs cover the walls.

"I hope you like it, Kurt," Sebastian says, sinking into one of the leather chairs in the room. "Because I think you'll be spending a fair amount of time here."

Kurt looks at him, not even trying to hide the resentment in his eyes and sits in the chair that is the furthest away from him, but Sebastian only laughs. After that Kurt avoids looking at Sebastian as much as possible.

"Okay," Wes says, sitting on the bed and opening the folder he's been holding. "So, it's all very simple, Kurt. You'll just be required to perform any tasks that Sebastian requires of you, fetching things, polishing shoes, running errands for him, that sort of thing, but absolutely no schoolwork, and in exchange he'll guide you and protect you during your time as an underclassman at Dalton. Any questions?"

Kurt stares at Wes with some surprise and a fair amount of suspicion because this all sounds very… innocent.

"What if he asks me to do something that I really don't want to do?" he asks, and when Wes looks at him blandly, his nerve fails him and he adds quickly, "Like, I don't know, clean up his vomit or something." And he blushes again when Sebastian laughs loudly.

"Well," Wes says. "If it's a real problem you can appeal to the Head boy."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "He _is_ the Head boy," he says flatly, Sebastian laughs again, and Wes blinks.

"Oh, good point. Well, I handle all the claimings and look after the rulebook, so you could come to me. Would that be acceptable?" And he looks at Sebastian, who nods.

"Sure," he says, easily. "But it's not going to be a problem. I won't ask him to clean up any vomit."

He still sounds thoroughly amused and whilst it annoys Kurt it seems to have absolutely no effect on Wes, and Kurt's beginning to wonder if Wes is actually human. He lets the annoyance go though because he's now wondering what happens if he just doesn't bother to do anything that Sebastian wants. So he asks.

"Yes, punishment," Wes says. "I almost forgot. Your mentor can punish you for neglect if you don't have a reasonable explanation. The punishment cannot cause physical pain, and if it does you should report it immediately. In your case, that would be to me again. It's more likely to be something like private detention, Kurt, and if the neglect continues your mentor can withdraw his protection. Do you understand?"

Kurt can only nod dumbly. This is all a lot more thorough than he'd thought it would be, but he's still wondering about all of the stuff that Blaine and Jeff had told him.

"There's only one more thing," Wes continues, "and then you can both sign and we're done. Kurt, sometimes a mentor chooses a canary because he's attracted to him. If that's the case, then he'll express that interest to you. I want to make it clear that you don't have to respond to him, and if you feel that he's pushing you too much then you can report it to the Head boy… oh, wait, no you can report it to me, Kurt. Do you understand?"

It's shocking and really quite appalling, Kurt thinks, the way Wes just breezes through that whole speech as if he's said it a hundred times before and as if it's perfectly reasonable. And it's not, Kurt decides, so he takes a deep breath and tries to stay calm because he has something that he wants to make clear as well.

"I understand," he says, "and I want _you_ to understand that I object to that aspect of this… this _system…_ and I'm not doing anything like _that_."

There's a short moment of silence, in which Kurt does not look at Sebastian and instead focuses on the surprised and strangely affronted look on Wes' face, and then Sebastian bursts into laughter.

"Nobody's going to believe for a second that you're straight, sweetheart," he drawls.

And Kurt's finally deserted by the calm that he's been struggling to hold onto and completely loses his temper.

" _Don't call me that_ ," he snaps, glaring at Sebastian. "And my being gay has nothing to do with this. Absolutely nothing is going to happen."

Wes now looks shocked. "Kurt, we'll make allowances for your first day but you're really not supposed to talk to your mentor like that, you know. Particularly when he's also the Head boy."

"Besides," says Sebastian, calmly. "I haven't said that I'm actually interested in you, sweetheart, so you're kind of jumping to conclusions here."

Humiliating heat flames in Kurt's cheeks and he closes his eyes for a moment trying to stifle the sudden stinging in his eyes because he really doesn't want to cry in front of them and it's all getting a bit too much. It's been such a long week, and he can't believe it's only Thursday, and that only a couple of days ago he was sitting in McKinley feeling all the dread of knowing that Karofsky was coming back, and now he's sitting here feeling just as miserable as he did then.

"As for your objection," Wes says, "that's between you and Sebastian. All _I_ can say to you is that it's a Dalton tradition and if you're really unhappy about it you can refuse to be claimed. Is that what you want to do?"

Kurt opens his eyes and takes a deep breath because a sudden, glorious idea has occurred to him.

"What if I refused to be claimed by _him_? Would someone else be able to claim me?"

He's deliberately avoiding looking at Sebastian but out of the corner of his eye he can see that Sebastian straightens in his chair.

"Kurt, do you have a boyfriend? Someone here at Dalton?"

It's Sebastian who asks and for a brief, wild moment Kurt actually imagines himself saying yes. But he doesn't tell lies, and he's not going to start now, so he shakes his head.

"It wouldn't matter anyway," Wes says. "If you refuse this claim, no one else can claim you. The only way to change mentors is if your mentor discards you, or if there is a swap."

Kurt sighs, because it kind of feels like the walls are closing in around him, and he's really trying to remember how reassuring Blaine and Jeff were about this whole thing.

"Do you want to refuse, Kurt?" Wes asks again. "Because we're running out of time."

"Let him think about it, Wes," Sebastian says, "if he's late for class I'll give him a pass for the teacher."

Kurt looks up in surprise but Sebastian isn't looking at him, instead he's signing his name to a piece of paper in Wes' folder. So far, Kurt has found Sebastian to be completely irritating but now he's wondering if he's really as bad as Kurt initially thought. Then Sebastian stands up, and holds out the folder to Kurt, and that annoying smirk is back on his face.

"If you're really that scared of me don't sign it, sweetheart," he says, with a wink, and it almost seems to Kurt as if he's being deliberately goaded, but it doesn't stop him losing his temper again.

"I _said_ , don't call me that," he bites out, ignoring Wes' disapproving look, but Sebastian only laughs, and Kurt is actually starting to loathe that sound.

But he is not going to let Sebastian think that Kurt is scared of him (even though he is a little) so he lifts his chin, glares at Sebastian and then signs his name on the paper with a flourish.

"Excellent," Wes says, with a lot of relief in his voice. He takes the folder from Kurt and then looks at his watch. "Ten minutes until school starts. Come on, Kurt, I'll take you to your first class. It's geography, isn't it?"

"I'll make sure he gets there," Sebastian says, as Kurt picks up his bag, and Kurt's heart sinks. He really just wants to escape and try to clear his head before he has to deal with Sebastian any further.

But Wes is already agreeing and walking out the door and Kurt is suddenly alone with his new 'mentor'.


	4. Chapter 4

They stare at each other for a moment and then Sebastian holds out his hand and Kurt curses himself when he automatically steps backwards, narrowly avoids falling on the bed, and Sebastian laughs at him. And it's not a good start with the whole not letting Sebastian think that Kurt is intimidated by him plan, Kurt thinks morosely.

"Give me your phone," Sebastian says, wiggling the fingers of the hand that he's still holding out towards Kurt.

"Why?" Kurt asks suspiciously, wondering if this is something that they didn't tell him about, and there is no way he's letting his so-called mentor go through his phone.

Sebastian rolls his eyes. "Because, sweetheart, I don't want to have to yell all over Dalton whenever I want to see your pretty face. We need to exchange numbers."

"Oh," Kurt says, a little sheepishly, and he hands over his phone, and when Sebastian gives him his, he types his number into it quickly.

After that, Sebastian hands him a piece of paper and then opens the door and ushers Kurt through it.

"That's my schedule," he says, as they walk along the corridor. "On the weekdays that I have Warbler practice or Lacrosse practice I don't have much time to get there so I'll need you to bring me the box of sheet music on my desk, or my Lacrosse gear, which you'll find in the closet. That's a permanent arrangement, so don't forget. Anything else, I'll text you."

Kurt nods, struggling a little to keep up with Sebastian's long strides, which is annoying, but he's also feeling fairly relieved because this is sounding simple and like he won't have to spend that much time with Sebastian.

"The only other thing you need to know right now, is that I like to have coffee before breakfast, black no sugar. Bring it along to my room at 7am. Feel free to bring along your own coffee preference because you'll be staying until breakfast."

"Oh," Kurt says in a strangled voice, and Sebastian glances down at him with another of those annoying smirks.

"Don't panic, sweetheart," he says. "We'll just be drinking coffee."

Kurt flushes a little but he does manage to glare at Sebastian as well.

"Will you _please_ stop calling me that?" he asks as politely as he can, and Sebastian laughs.

"Nope," he says. "You'll just have to live with it. Here's your classroom. See you later, sweetheart."

He gives Kurt a wave and disappears down the corridor leaving Kurt standing outside a classroom with a lot of other boys who are all staring at him with open curiosity.

Kurt gets through the morning classes and it feels like it's just a normal, ordinary school, and he almost can't believe what happened that morning actually occurred.

He gets a blunt reminder when, on his way to lunch, he runs into Steve, the student who'd accosted Kurt and Jeff the night before. Kurt ducks his head and tries to avoid him, but Steve grips his arm and stops him in the hallway.

"Claimed by the Head boy, huh?" he says to Kurt, a note of resentment in his voice. "Should have known that would happen. Of course, Sebastian Smythe _has_ to have the prettiest canary in the school, it's his god-given right."

Kurt's face burns and he tries to pull his arm away but Steve is holding him tightly, his fingers digging into Kurt's flesh.

"And I'll be telling him you said that, Jensen," says a voice behind them, and Kurt turns around to find the other Warbler he met with Blaine, only a few, short weeks ago, standing with his arms crossed, glaring at Steve.

Steve drops Kurt's arm. "Whatever," he says as he walks away but Kurt thinks he looks a little worried.

"Hi Kurt, it's David, remember?" the Warbler says, holding out his hand and Kurt shakes it.

"Yes, I remember you," he says. "Thanks."

"Did he hurt you?" David asks. "It looked like he had a good grip on your arm."

Kurt shakes his head because even though he thinks it might bruise it's just another one to add to all the bruises he's had in the past few weeks of Karofsky's locker slams.

"Well, don't worry about him," David says, smiling at Kurt "He won't approach you again, Sebastian will make sure of that. Come on, I'll go with you to lunch. The Warbler's have their own table and you can meet a lot of them before tomorrow's practice."

Kurt follows David to the dining room in a bit of a daze. He knows that what happened with Karofsky has affected his confidence and even though he's always tried to look the best he possibly can, and he's been proud of his dress sense, he's been so used to being treated as a pariah at McKinley, that it's now kind of unnerving to suddenly find himself in a place where boys actually seem to think that he's worth looking at. He's not sure that he's exactly happy with being called 'pretty' so much and he could certainly live without Sebastian's constant 'sweetheart' title but it is sort of nice to be in a place where someone actually cares whether someone else hurts him.

He's relieved to see Jeff already in the dining room and he sits down next to him gratefully when Jeff waves him over. There are only a few other boys at the table and Jeff introduces them quickly.

"This is Trent, and Nick, the one over there is Thad, he's on the Warbler council, and this guy is Flint. He's shy so he won't talk much but he's a great singer."

All of the boys smile and nod and Kurt helps himself to some chicken salad from one of the platters on the large table and thinks that it all seems very civilized compared to the anarchy of the cafeteria at McKinley.

Blaine wanders in then, and Kurt can't help feeling disappointed when he takes the seat on the other side of Jeff, instead of the empty one beside Kurt. He does give Kurt one of his warm smiles though and Kurt's heart rate speeds up a little.

Unfortunately he's forgotten that Sebastian is a Warbler as well, and it's with a sinking feeling in his stomach that Kurt watches him cross the room. When Sebastian drops into the seat beside Kurt, he holds his breath, suddenly tense all over but then David immediately starts talking to Sebastian and Kurt lets out the breath in relief.

"You all right?" Jeff asks, and Kurt gives him a weak smile.

Jeff's eyes drift towards Sebastian and then he grins at Kurt. "So it's true, huh? Sebastian claimed you?" he asks, and Kurt can only nod dumbly.

Jeff whistles under his breath, and Kurt wonders why, but before he can ask, Jeff is leaning closer.

"That's really something, Kurt," he says in a low voice. "Sebastian said at the beginning of the year that he wasn't going to claim anyone at all this year because he didn't want to have to be bothered with looking after anyone when he's the Head boy."

Kurt raises an eyebrow and a part of him really wants to object to being described as someone that Sebastian is going to look after, but after everything that happened with Karofsky, the run-in he's just had with Steve, and everything that Jeff had told him the night before he just doesn't really know what to feel about it anymore. Particularly, he thinks wryly, when if he says anything he'll probably just get told that it's a Dalton tradition anyway.

So, he doesn't say anything, just smiles, and Jeff starts talking to Blaine. Kurt's still trying to settle his thoughts when a hand suddenly lands on his waist and he can barely stifle his shriek of surprise. There's some laughter around the table and when Kurt turns to look at Sebastian his mentor looks thoroughly amused.

"Ticklish, sweetheart?" he asks quietly and Kurt only just manages to stop himself from glaring. Instead he tries to shift away a bit and Sebastian lets him go.

"Show me your arm," Sebastian says, and Kurt blinks in confusion.

"What?"

"Your arm. I want to see if you're hurt."

"Oh, it's fine," Kurt evades.

"Show me your arm, Kurt," Sebastian repeats. Kurt can tell he's not going to give up, and he really doesn't want to have a scene in the dining room in front of everyone so he rolls up the sleeve of his Dalton cardigan and then his shirtsleeve.

"See," he says, flatly. "Satisfied now?"

Sebastian ignores him and peers at Kurt's arm. "It looks like it will bruise," he says, and Kurt's about to tell him that he bruises easily when Sebastian frowns, pushes Kurt's sleeve up further, and traces a finger around a fading mark above Kurt's elbow, and a shiver goes through Kurt that he really wants to pretend never happened.

"Where did this come from?" Sebastian asks.

"My old school," Kurt says, shortly, but it seems to be enough of an explanation because Sebastian rolls down Kurt's sleeve and lets go of his arm.

"Is that why you transferred?" Sebastian asks, and Kurt just nods.

"Steve won't bother you again," Sebastian says. "No one will."

And then he turns back to David, and Kurt lets out a little gasp because there had been absolute certainty in Sebastian's voice and Kurt's just not used to that.

The rest of the day goes by and Kurt tries not to feel overwhelmed by the feeling that he has a lot to catch up on if he's going to meet Dalton's higher academic standards. He's on his way back to his room to get started on his homework when he remembers to check Sebastian's schedule and he sighs in relief when he sees that it's clear.

Kurt's just finishing his math homework when Jeff almost seems to bounce through the door, making Kurt jump in his seat a little. He gives Jeff a little mock-frown when Jeff pats his shoulder apologetically but he has to admit he's finding Jeff's exuberance kind of endearing.

"Well, everyone's talking about you and Sebastian," Jeff says with a grin, and Kurt huffs.

"Believe me," he says, "there's nothing to talk about."

"But he claimed you, Kurt," Jeff says, sitting down at his own desk. "And everyone wants to know why he changed his mind about having a canary. Some of the freshmen want to think it's a case of love at first sight, but that's sort of hard to believe, because, well, this is Sebastian. I've heard a lot about him and he doesn't really do love. Did he say anything to you?"

"No," Kurt says flatly. "I don't even really know if he's gay or straight."

It's something he's been wondering about and he thinks he's pretty certain that his own guess was right when Jeff bursts out laughing.

"Oh, he's definitely gay," he says.

Kurt bites his bottom lip, and tries to ignore the sudden uncomfortable squirming feeling that goes through his stomach. So, Sebastian is gay and he's chosen Kurt to be his canary out of the blue. It doesn't mean anything, Kurt tells himself, because Sebastian is obnoxious and annoying and he probably just wants someone to fetch and carry for him, after all. And Kurt is really just sick of the whole thing.

"Do you mind if we don't talk about this?" he says to Jeff, and he's really hoping that Jeff won't be offended. "It's just that it all takes a lot of getting used to."

"Hey, no problem," Jeff says, and his eyes are sympathetic so Kurt gives him a weak smile. "How did your first day of classes go?"

Kurt answers him gratefully and even if Dalton is turning out a lot different to what he'd expected, Kurt thinks that at least he's made a new friend in Jeff.

They talk as they do their homework and then Jeff's phone buzzes and he looks at it quickly.

"It's Blaine," he says to Kurt. "I've got to go." He looks at Kurt a little reluctantly. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, of course," Kurt says, waving a hand. "I'll see you later."

Jeff's been gone for about ten minutes when Kurt's phone rings and for a moment he looks at it with dread. Then he gingerly picks it up, fervently hoping that he won't see Sebastian's name, and he's almost light-headed with relief when it's his dad.

"Hey, kiddo," Burt says as soon as Kurt answers. "I just wanted to check up on you after your first day. How'd it go?"

For a moment, Kurt is speechless, struggling to think of something to say, because he really doesn't know how to answer that question.

"Kurt?" Burt asks and the worry in his dad's voice suddenly clears Kurt's mind.

"Good," he blurts out. "It's good, Dad. The classes are harder but I know I can catch up."

"And everyone's friendly, right? Your roommate too?"

"Oh, he's really great," Kurt says, and the enthusiasm in his voice isn't faked. "He's helped me a lot."

"So, you're okay?" Burt asks and something in Kurt's heart tightens, and suddenly he really just wants to _be_ with his dad.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he says softly. "But I miss you, Dad."

"I miss you too, son," Burt says. "We all do."

They're both silent for a moment, and even though he can't see his dad, Kurt feels better. It's true that Dalton isn't what he expected, and it's true that he's not that happy being anyone's 'canary' let alone Sebastian's, and he can't tell his dad about it, not after everything that's happened. But Kurt's starting to have the feeling that he really is going to be okay. He smiles, even though Burt can't see it, and takes a deep breath.

"How are Carole and Finn?" he asks, and when his dad answers Kurt just enjoys listening to his voice.

By the time they finish talking it's dinnertime and Kurt packs away his schoolwork and heads to the dining room. He smiles when he sees Blaine and Jeff waiting for him, and they all sit down together at the Warbler's table. Sebastian arrives a few minutes later but instead of joining Kurt, he sits with Wes and some of the other senior Warbler's, and the tension that had tightened in Kurt's stomach at the sight of him, eases.

"So, how are you feeling after your first day at Dalton, Kurt?" Blaine asks, and Kurt smiles a little wistfully.

"Okay," he says softly. "I was talking to my Dad though and I think I'm starting to feel a bit homesick. I miss my friends from the glee club too."

"Well, you'll see them in a few weeks at Sectionals," Blaine says, with one of his warm smiles and Kurt's got that breathless feeling that he always gets around Blaine again. "And Jeff and I were thinking – maybe we can all watch a movie together after dinner, if you'd like?"

Kurt happily agrees, and so once they're back from dinner they all pile onto Jeff's bed, with Jeff's laptop. Blaine chooses the movie, and it's something black and white from the sixties that Kurt's never seen before, so he concentrates on it and ignores the way that Blaine's pressed up close to Jeff.

The movie is good though, and it's a fun evening so by the time Kurt gets into bed and says 'goodnight' to Jeff he's feeling pretty relaxed. And that's when he remembers that he has to take coffee to Sebastian's room in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

' _It's only half an hour_ ,' Kurt tells himself as he carries two mugs of coffee along the corridor. ' _You only have to get through half an hour_.'

When he'd gone to the dining room to get the coffee he'd almost succumbed to the idea of putting salt in Sebastian's, but in the end he'd decided it would be a childish thing to do and it would also make Sebastian think that he was getting to Kurt. So, Kurt had decided that he'd be the perfect 'canary' instead. Well, within reason.

He reaches Sebastian's door and knocks lightly, sort of hoping that Sebastian is still asleep and won't hear him, but the door opens almost instantly.

"Ah, thank god," Sebastian says, reaching out and taking the mug of black coffee from Kurt's hand. He takes a long sip, as he ushers Kurt into the room, but Kurt is kind of frozen because Sebastian is only wearing a sleeveless undershirt, tucked into his uniform pants.

And as much as Kurt had avoided the locker room at McKinley he would have had to be blind to miss noticing certain things during his brief stint on the football team and he has to admit that he had definitely noticed the muscles in Puck's arms… and he's absolutely positive that Sebastian's arms leave Pucks 'guns' for dead.

He can't help wondering if Sebastian has done this deliberately but when he meets Sebastian's eyes he can't be sure, because all he can see in them is a hint of impatience.

"Would you please enter the room," Sebastian says, "because I'm really not going to hold this door open all day."

Kurt flushes a little, stalks through the door, and then stands hesitantly in the middle of the room, wondering what he's supposed to do next.

"Take a seat, sweetheart," Sebastian says, and Kurt's relieved to see that he's pulling on a shirt and doing up the buttons quickly.

Kurt sits stiffly in the same chair he'd sat in the previous morning and sips his own coffee, watching as Sebastian slings a Dalton tie around his neck and ties it into a loose, crooked knot that Kurt's fingers itch to correct.

"So, how was your first day at Dalton?" Sebastian asks, after taking another mouthful of his coffee. "I've already taken care of Steve, but did you have any other problems?"

As he shakes his head Kurt can't help wondering how exactly Sebastian has 'taken care of Steve' but he's not going to ask. He's not going to show any interest in anything that Sebastian says at all.

"Okay," Sebastian says, and he sounds amused, but Kurt's not going to look at him again either. "Why don't you tell me who it was you wanted to have claim you then?"

Kurt's head shoots around before he can stop it and he's looking at Sebastian with shock, and Sebastian, of course, is smirking.

"I didn't want to be claimed by _anyone_ ," he says quickly, and Sebastian's smirk turns into a grin. There's a gleam of triumph in his eyes and Kurt fumes silently as he belatedly realizes that not only has Sebastian known what Kurt was doing, but he's also provoked Kurt into talking.

"Now, I don't think that's strictly true, sweetheart," Sebastian says. "I know that you don't like the Dalton tradition but I think you'd decided that if you _had_ to be claimed, then there was someone you wouldn't mind claiming you. My guess is he's a junior."

Kurt can feel himself flushing a bit but he shrugs his shoulders and attempts an air of nonchalance.

"Whatever you want to think," he says in a bored voice, but Sebastian only laughs.

"Hmm, I know you're not going to tell me," Sebastian says, "but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. You have a very expressive face."

Kurt's not sure what to think of that so he takes another sip of his coffee and pretends he didn't hear it.

"How did you go in your classes?" Sebastian asks. He pauses and when Kurt doesn't answer he continues and his voice is heavy with mocking sarcasm. "I imagine after coming from a substandard public school you're finding it quite difficult so I could arrange some tutors for you if you'd like. After all, I wouldn't want you to fail any subjects whilst I'm kind of responsible for you."

For a moment Kurt is strongly tempted to throw his coffee in Sebastian's face, but he sternly suppresses it even as a small part of him wonders why it is that Sebastian irritates him so much. It's not like he hasn't dealt with annoying boys before. After all, he went to McKinley, a school chock full of very annoying boys or worse. Maybe it's because of the whole 'mentoring' system, Kurt thinks, or maybe it's because he always feels like Sebastian is either laughing at him or deliberately goading him. The one thing he _is_ sure of is that he definitely does not trust him.

At any rate, Kurt manages to refrain from glaring at Sebastian and instead answers him in a cold voice.

"That won't be necessary, thank you. I can manage."

"Hmmm, I'm sure you can," Sebastian murmurs, and there's something so provocative in the way he says it, that Kurt feels himself flushing again. He's still berating himself for it when he realizes that Sebastian is standing up and pulling on his blazer.

"Let's go to breakfast," he says, and Kurt blinks a little at the sudden brisk note in Sebastian's voice. He watches as Sebastian stuffs some books into a messenger bag, his eyes lingering on Sebastian's tie. Which is still crooked.

By this time Sebastian is standing in the middle of the room, bag slung over his shoulder, looking at Kurt with a raised eyebrow.

"What's up?"

Kurt slowly stands, telling himself that he's not going to say it.

"Your tie," he says, and he sighs at himself but ignoring an untidy tie was probably too much to expect anyway. "It's crooked."

"So?"

"You can't go out there with your tie like that," he says, frowning, because has this idiot forgotten that he's the head boy? "It's… messy."

"Well, fix it then," Sebastian laughs, and he's raising his chin and smirking at Kurt.

"Fix it yourself," Kurt snaps. "I'm not your servant." He flushes as soon as the words are out of his mouth and Sebastian just raises an eyebrow again and looks at him.

"Fine, then," Kurt says, before Sebastian can say anything that might make Kurt reconsider throwing the remains of his coffee at him. He steps up to Sebastian and quickly straightens his tie, ignoring the trembling in his own fingers, poised to flee if Sebastian so much as reaches out to touch him.

Sebastian doesn't though, he just stands there, sort of smiling down at Kurt.

"What happened at your old school?"

Sebastian's voice is soft when he asks the question and it makes something quiver in Kurt's stomach but at the same time he's also suddenly right back there, with the heaviness of Karofsky's death threat hanging over his head. His throat tightens up almost automatically, and he closes his eyes for a moment, shaking his head.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt says quickly, stepping away from Sebastian. "It's over, anyway."

Sebastian's silent for a moment and then he says, "Okay", still in that soft voice and Kurt's so relieved by the quick acceptance that, for a moment, he doesn't really notice Sebastian is heading for the door.

Kurt takes a deep breath, picks up his own bag and the coffee mugs, and follows him, feeling sort of shell-shocked and wondering if every encounter with Sebastian is going to feel like a minefield.

He doesn't see Sebastian again until lunch and all that happens then is Sebastian reminding him to collect the box of sheet music from his room before Warbler's practice.

He does run into Steve, but the other boy doesn't so much as look at Kurt. He just walks by as if Kurt doesn't exist and Kurt can't help feeling relieved although he's determined not to feel grateful to Sebastian.

After his final class for the day, Kurt hurries to Sebastian's room and collects the sheet music box, so when he gets to Warbler's practice he's a little breathless. Sebastian meets him at the door, and takes the box, and then leads him into the room and Wes formally introduces Kurt to the other Warblers.

The next thing that happens is that Blaine gives him a canary.

Kurt is dumbfounded, completely speechless, as he gazes at Blaine's earnest expression, an expression that is echoed on the faces he sees when Kurt glances around the room. And he finds himself fighting the urge to laugh, because really? Can they be serious? They are actually giving him a canary, with absolutely no sense of irony.

And then he sees Sebastian's face and Sebastian doesn't look earnest, like all of the other Warblers. Instead his eyes are glittering with mirth as if he knows exactly what Kurt is thinking and appreciates the ridiculousness of the moment as much as Kurt does. Their gaze holds for a moment and then Sebastian smirks.

"It's one of Dalton's oldest _traditions_ ," he says, with a very slight sarcastic emphasis on the word 'traditions', and Kurt struggles against it but he can't stop himself from laughing.

Of course, no one else in the room laughs, although Sebastian looks like he wants to, so Kurt, flushing a little, places the bird cage gently on a table, and focuses on the other three Warbler's sitting at the council table.

"Thank you," he says softly. "I'll do my best to live up to the honor of looking after him."

It seems to be the right thing to say because all of the Warblers burst into applause and Kurt sighs with relief.

The meeting continues and Kurt thinks it's going to take some getting used to because it's so much more formal… and organized… than glee club at McKinley. For a little while he loses himself in wistful memories of some of New Direction's more chaotic meetings, until Blaine taps him on the shoulder and he realizes that practice is starting.

Most of the practice is taken up with integrating Kurt into the group and working out his harmonies, but right at the end, Blaine suggests a new song and asks if he can perform it for them with a couple of other Warblers.

Kurt leans against one of the couches and steadfastly resists the urge to move to the other side of the room when he notices that Sebastian is standing behind him. Instead he focuses on Blaine, and that is easy for Blaine is in his element when he's performing, beautiful and perfect, and when Blaine's eyes briefly meet his, Kurt's breath catches in his throat.

"Oh, so it's Blaine you're mooning over, is it?" Sebastian says in his ear, his voice low but heavy with amusement, and Kurt goes very still, trying to ignore him.

"I told you I'd figure it out," Sebastian continues, moving closer. "You want to be more careful with the simpering doe-eyed looks that you're casting in his direction, you know. Dead giveaway."

Kurt stiffens with a mixture of anger and the fear that Sebastian might be right about the way he's been looking at Blaine. He casts a quick, nervous glance around the room and Sebastian must see it because Kurt hears a low chuckle behind him, and intense resentment makes him step back, deliberately grinding his foot into Sebastian's. When he hears the hiss of pain, Kurt can't help smiling with smug satisfaction.

"Little bitch," Sebastian says, but there's laughter in his voice, not anger, and Kurt only narrowly avoids turning to look at him in shock. Sebastian's certainly annoying, Kurt thinks, but he's also full of surprises, never quite reacting the way that Kurt expects him to.

By this time, Blaine has finished singing and the room erupts into applause. Kurt sighs with relief when Sebastian moves away and a few moments later the practice is over.

Kurt is gathering up his new, feathered friend, Pavarotti, when Sebastian appears beside him and shoves the box of sheet music in his arms.

"Take that back to my room, please," he says, "I'll be along in a few minutes so wait for me."

Kurt doesn't respond, except to give Sebastian what he hopes is a haughty look, and he follows the other Warblers out of the room. Once he gets back to Sebastian's room he dumps the box on the desk, places Pavarotti gently on a chair, and stands in the middle of the room, impatiently tapping his foot.

A few minutes later, Sebastian walks in, takes note of Kurt's position and leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So, I hit a nerve, did I?" he smirks, and Kurt tries to ignore him.

"You really did want Blaine to claim you, didn't you?" Sebastian continues, and the mocking laughter in his voice makes Kurt lose his temper completely. "I bet you thought it would be _so_ romantic."

"Well, it would have been better than being stuck with _you_ ," he snarls. "Blaine's more of a gentleman than you'll ever be."

"Oh, and exactly what have either of us done to make you think that," Sebastian responds, and Kurt's surprised at the calm in his voice because he can see that Sebastian's eyes are now sparking with anger and resentment.

"Do you really think," Sebastian sneers, "that Blaine's too much of a _gentleman_ to fuck his canary? Believe me, he's giving it to Jeff every chance he gets."

Shock twists in Kurt's stomach as well as something else that feels a lot like jealousy, and his face burns with embarrassment.

"God, do you have to be so _disgusting?"_ he spits out, and Sebastian smirks.

"Just telling you like it is, sweetheart," he says. "You never had a chance with Blaine. He wanted Jeff from the moment he saw him, and I'll give him credit, he was very patient about it. So, there's no way he's going to give him up now, even for someone as _lovely_ as you."

Kurt's now so furious that he can hardly see straight. Kurt can't figure out why exactly Sebastian would be doing it, but he's got a strong feeling that Sebastian is trying to rile him up again, and it's completely frustrating that it's working so easily.

"And why on _earth_ should I believe anything _you_ say?" he asks, his voice full of contempt and his heart beats harder when the anger that had left Sebastian's eyes suddenly returns.

"You don't have to," Sebastian says, unfolding his arms and stepping forward into Kurt's space, and Kurt fights to stand still because he is not going to back down, even though he's trembling because last time he was face to face with someone like this, it didn't end all that well.

"All you have to do is use your eyes and watch them," Sebastian continues. "But in case you've forgotten, I'm your ' _mentor_ ', sweetheart, and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm also not going to put up with you talking to me like that, so don't do it again."

Kurt takes a deep breath, looking up at Sebastian with hard eyes, and it's annoying, he briefly reflects, that whenever he confronts some idiot boy they are _always_ taller.

"I did not see anything in the rules," he says, through gritted teeth, "that says I have to trust you… or like you. And I don't."

Sebastian looks truly furious for a moment, but as Kurt watches him (pretending that he's not suddenly so anxious that it's hard to breathe) the anger fades from Sebastian's eyes yet again and he actually smiles.

"If that's an attempt to get me to discard you, it's a poor one," he says, and Kurt's taken aback because, even in his anger, he honestly had not thought of it. His confusion must show because Sebastian's eyebrows lift and his smile seems to soften.

"Okay," he says. "Enjoy your first weekend at Dalton. I'll see you on Monday morning."

Kurt's unsettled by the sudden ending of their argument but he quickly grabs his bag, and heads for the door, relieved to get away.

"Kurt," Sebastian says, and Kurt turns with a frustrated sigh, to find Sebastian holding Pavarotti's cage.

"I'm not going to look after _your_ canary as well," Sebastian says sarcastically, and Kurt wrenches the cage from his hand, ignoring Pavarotti's frantic chirping.

Kurt refrains from slamming the door, but he marches through the corridors to his room, silently fuming, and when he gets there he bursts through the door, almost making Jeff fall off his chair.

"Sorry," Kurt snaps, placing Pavarotti on his desk, and then flinging his bag on his bed. Jeff looks at him with confusion and Kurt can't hold it in anymore.

" _Fuck_ ," he hisses, "I _hate_ Sebastian Smythe."


	6. Chapter 6

Fortunately, Jeff simply bursts into laughter and the unbridled mirth in it does a lot to help Kurt calm down, so that by the time Jeff actually asks him what happened Kurt's recovered enough to refrain from telling him. He's pretty sure that repeating what Sebastian had said about Blaine and Jeff would not be a good idea.

"He's just so annoying," Kurt finally says, and Jeff laughs again.

"You're not the first to say it," he says. "But you have to admit he's really hot."

Kurt stares at Jeff, speechless with disbelief and Jeff laughs.

"Oh, come on, Kurt," he says. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed," and he laughs again as Kurt feels his cheeks beginning to heat. "Ah, so you have."

"I'll concede he's very handsome," Kurt says, rather primly. "But, unfortunately it's spoiled by his regrettable tendency to open his mouth and speak."

He can't help feeling sort of flattered at the way that Jeff collapses onto his bed, shaking with laughter, and by the time Jeff finally stops, Kurt is actually smiling, and then Jeff sits up and gives Kurt a serious look.

"I know you were annoyed, and I know I laughed," he says, "but we should keep that sort of thing between the two of us. Be careful about saying stuff like that outside of this room, Kurt, because Sebastian's the Head boy and he's very popular at Dalton. And he's also your mentor."

Kurt sighs, but as much as it's frustrating he knows that Jeff's right, so he gives him a smile.

"I know," he says, nodding, but he looks at Jeff curiously. "But doesn't it get to you at all?" He pauses for a moment and then clears his throat, his heart beating hard. "I mean, doesn't Blaine ever annoy you?"

Kurt hopes he's kept it out of his voice but he's nervous about asking the question, because the things that Sebastian had said are still in his mind. He watches Jeff closely, hoping for some clue about how Jeff feels about Blaine, and when he sees the slight flush on Jeff's face, his heart sinks.

"Sometimes," Jeff finally says, quietly. "But Blaine's pretty cool."

And Kurt wants to ask so much more. He wants to ask Jeff about his relationship with Blaine, but he can't. They don't know each other that well yet, but Kurt thinks he can see caution in Jeff's eyes, and he guesses that even if he asked the questions he wouldn't get any answers.

So instead he smiles at Jeff and then sits down at his desk and starts his French homework. He's only half way through it when his phone dings with a text and at the same time, Jeff's phone also chirps. They look at each other and laugh before reaching for their phones but Jeff reads his first, smirks to himself and then looks at Kurt.

"I'll see you at dinner," he says, and quickly leaves the room, and Kurt tries to ignore the tight feeling in his stomach because he's fairly certain that text was from Blaine.

His own text is from Mercedes and it's one simple word.

' _Skype?'_

Kurt grins happily, settles on his bed with his laptop and dials up Mercedes and when she appears on the screen, with a wide smile on her face, Kurt's heart leaps. He really misses her.

"Hey boo," she says, "How are you?"

"I'm good," Kurt says. "But I miss all you guys. I never thought I'd say this but I even miss Rachel."

Mercedes rolls her eyes, but it's good-natured because they've both long ago let go of their dislike of Rachel and now she's a good, and only occasionally frustrating, friend.

"So, when do we get to see you?" Mercedes asks. "Are you coming home on the weekend?"

Kurt shakes his head regretfully. "I wish I could," he says. "But this is a boarding school and most of the boys come from further away so there are rules. We can leave campus in the afternoons or the weekends, but we have to be back by curfew and underclassmen can't go further than a twenty-mile radius from Columbus, unless we have special permission. They have these things called half-term weekends when I can go home, but other than that it's just the usual break holidays."

"That sucks," Mercedes frowns, but after a moment she smiles. "But, hey, it's only two hours. We could drive out and meet you, couldn't we?"

Kurt claps his hands together in sudden excitement. "Yes," he says, "god, please do that. Dad and Carole can't come out this weekend and I _really_ want to get out of here for a while. And I really want to see you."

"Hey," Mercedes says softly, her eyes lighting up with concern. "You are okay, aren't you? I mean Dalton's safe, isn't it?"

"Of course," Kurt says quickly, because the last thing he wants to do is make her worry. "But it's different… and I'm not used to it yet. Will you come out this weekend?" he asks and when Mercedes nods, Kurt beams. "Can you pick me up here? I don't have my car. Only upperclassmen are allowed to bring cars here."

Mercedes nods, although she rolls her eyes. "Jeez," she says, "all these rules."

"Yeah," Kurt sighs, "and you don't know the half of it."

Mercedes immediately looks curious but Kurt shakes his head. He's not sure he really wants to tell her about Sebastian and the 'canary' thing, because for one thing it might get back to his dad and Kurt really doesn't want his dad worrying any more about him than he already does.

"Okay," Mercedes eventually says, "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at ten thirty. I'll come alone because I really want you to myself this time."

They continue talking for a while, and when Kurt finally signs off and looks at his watch it's nearly dinnertime, so he heads to the dining room.

Jeff is already there, sitting with Nick and Blaine, and Kurt quickly joins them. He's feeling fairly nervous about seeing Sebastian after the argument they've just had, but halfway through the meal he hasn't shown up and Kurt can't help sighing with relief.

Jeff gives him an amused look, and leans closer to speak quietly into Kurt's ear. "He's hardly ever here for dinner on Fridays and Saturdays. He leaves campus until curfew, with a couple of other seniors, and they meet up with some local guys."

"Oh?" Kurt says, trying not to sound too interested, but he is kind of curious.

"Yeah," Jeff continues, grinning at Kurt. "They go into Columbus. There's usually some college guy having a party, or I've heard that sometimes they use fake ID's and go to a gay club. But I guess Sebastian would have to be really careful doing that now that he's Head boy. At any rate, Sebastian's hardly here on the weekends, unless he has a Lacrosse game or something."

And Kurt can't help smiling at Jeff with a lot of relief, because the idea of not having to deal with Sebastian on weekends is glorious, and what with that, and the fact that he's going to see Mercedes, he's suddenly feeling a lot more cheerful.

They finish their dinner but Kurt lingers in the dining room with Blaine and Jeff, talking to Nick, who is another sophomore and shares some of Kurt's classes.

"All right, I've got to go," Blaine finally says, standing up and looking down at Jeff. "I really want to finish this history essay tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Jeff nods, and then looks at Kurt and Nick. "What are you guys doing?" he asks, and Nick sighs.

"I've got a heap of French homework," he says.

"I'm still working on that too," Kurt says. "Why don't you come to our dorm and we can work on it together?"

Nick gives him a wide grin. "That would be great," he says. "I noticed in class that you're much better at French than I am."

"Fabulous," says Kurt, with a wink, "and you can help me with chemistry."

They both laugh and Jeff gives them an amused look. "Boring," he says, and then sighs. "Oh well, I may as well finish my math homework, I guess."

On the way to the dorm room they run into Steve and, once again, he simply ignores Kurt, but he doesn't look at Nick or Jeff either, and when Kurt sees Nick nudge Jeff's shoulder and laugh he can't stifle his curiosity.

"What's going on?" he asks, once Steve is out of earshot.

"David and Sebastian decided to teach Steve a lesson," Nick says, and when Kurt looks a little confused he smiles.

"David's my mentor, you know," he continues, "and Steve had cornered me one afternoon in the soccer shed, so when he saw Steve hassling you, it was the final straw. I mean, Steve has a canary of his own so he should know better and-"

"Wait," Kurt interrupts, "that idiot has a canary?"

"Of course," Jeff says, "Steve's a junior, remember?"

"Well, he _had_ a canary," Nick says, grinning, and Jeff laughs. "It was Matthew, you know, that freshman with the really bad acne and the glasses. Steve wasn't thrilled about ending up with him, and Matthew's very nice and really clever, but he's kind of timid, so David was actually keeping an eye on him. Anyway, Sebastian and David thought that as Steve was breaking the rules about approaching other canaries, he might be breaking other rules as well, so they talked to Matthew. It turned out Steve had asked Matt to do some schoolwork for him a couple of times, and Matt had said no, but he hadn't reported it."

"So, what did they do?" Kurt asks, as they enter the dorm room and close the door.

"They went to Wes, and Sebastian banned Steve from having a canary. Then he told Steve that if he so much as looked at another canary Sebastian would find a way to have him expelled."

Kurt gasps and looks at Nick with wide eyes full of doubt. "Could he do that?"

"I don't know," Nick says, shrugging, "but if anyone could it would be Sebastian, so Steve's not about to risk it."

Kurt blinks, and he has to admit he's only getting more confused about Sebastian the more he hears about him. On the one hand, he's obnoxious and arrogant and now, it seems, fairly ruthless. On the other hand, he's certainly been protective of Kurt and he also hasn't been too demanding with the tasks he's assigned. But either way, Kurt decides, he still wishes that Sebastian wasn't his mentor.

"So, what happened to Matthew?" he asks, and it's Jeff who answers.

"Wes asked to take him on as a second canary. Once he found out that you could have two canaries he jumped at the chance, and if anyone needs a second, it's Wes. That guy loves creating paperwork."

They all laugh and then settle down to their homework. Kurt's just finishing his chemistry assignment, with Nick's help, when there's a knock on the door, and a strange boy looks into the room.

"Porn party in Dean's room," he says. "Any of you guy's interested?"

Kurt's mouth drops open in stunned amazement but Nick looks up at the boy curiously.

"Gay or straight?" he asks, and the strange boy winks.

"Straight," he answers, "but there's a gay one on Sunday night in Brad's room."

"I'll give it a miss," Jeff says, and when Nick nods in agreement, the boy leaves, closing the door behind him.

Kurt's still frozen, and he's really beginning to wonder if he's now attending a sex academy instead of a high school, although eventually he decides that it's probably no different from Finn and Puck watching porn on Finn's laptop – something that he's been well aware of them doing, no matter how much he's tried to ignore it.

Still, he just can't understand the appeal and he's also still wondering about the exact nature of a 'porn party' so he looks at Jeff and Nick and takes a deep breath.

"Porn party?" he asks, and Jeff glances at him with a surprised expression.

"Did you want to go?"

" _What?_ " Kurt exclaims, completely flustered and also horrified. "God, no, definitely not. I just wondered… I mean do they…" he falters, and luckily Nick takes pity on him.

"They just watch porn," he says. "If anyone hooks up, they do it privately."

"Do you guys watch it?" Kurt asks, and then bites his lip, blushing, because he really hadn't meant to ask that out loud, but thankfully Nick and Jeff just smile.

"Yeah, sometimes," Jeff says. "But I don't go to the porn parties."

"Don't you watch it?" Nick asks curiously, and Kurt feels his cheeks burning hotter.

"Um… no," he mutters, and then clears his throat nervously. "No, I just… never really got the point."

Nick looks mystified. "There's not really any point to porn," he says. "It's just… porn. You mean, you've never actually watched any at all?"

"I tried," Kurt says. "But… it all just seemed fairly horrible to me."

"Horrible…" Nick murmurs as if he can't quite believe what he's hearing. "Okay."

"Kurt," Jeff says, and Kurt can see that now Jeff's flushing a little with obvious embarrassment, "um… have you ever… I mean, are you a virgin?"

And now it's Kurt who's face is flushing, yet again, and he's also wondering if he really wants to answer that question. After all, he's only known Jeff for two days (but so much has happened that it feels longer, he thinks) and Nick for even less, and he's really never had any boy show any interest in his sex life before, except to mock him for it. Aside from that, it's a very personal question about a subject that Kurt's not very comfortable with, but as they both look at him with open, friendly expectation, Kurt decides to answer it.

"Yes, I am," he says, a little defensively he has to admit. "Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No, no, absolutely not," Nick says, quickly. "It's just… unusual."

Kurt's not sure what to think of that, but after all he's seen and heard at Dalton so far, he's starting to think that it might be _very_ unusual. But still… it's also hard to believe that he's the only virgin at Dalton, and so he says so, and his eyes widen when he sees Nick glance at Jeff with eyes full of laughter.

"You're not saying I am?" Kurt gasps in disbelief.

"No, not at all," Jeff says, with a glint of mischief in his eye. "I think there might be a few of the freshmen who still haven't had sex. But as for the sophomores-" he breaks off when Kurt throws a book at him.

"I don't believe you," Kurt says, firmly. "And stop making fun of me."

"Sorry," Jeff says, laughing. "You made it so easy."

"I don't get it though," Nick suddenly says, and they both turn to look at him. "I mean, Kurt, you're really good-looking," he adds, and Kurt's kind of proud of himself for not blushing at the compliment.

"So?" he asks.

"Well," Nick continues, "I just don't get why you haven't… um… done anything."

"I've never had a boyfriend," Kurt says, with a shrug. "I come from Lima, and my high school was, well, pretty homophobic. I was the only one who was out."

"But do you want a boyfriend?" Nick presses, and Kurt thinks of Blaine and this time he can't stop himself from flushing, and Nick smiles.

"So, it's just porn you don't like then," Nick says.

Kurt's flush deepens because this is something he usually avoids thinking about and he's still not sure how open he wants to be with these two. But, even in such a short time, he has to admit he feels more friendship with Jeff than he has with some of the people in his old glee club, and he has a feeling that it's going to be the same with Nick. And he's never had friends who are also gay before and there's a very strong temptation to finally talk about these sorts of things – it's an opportunity he's never had.

"Well, I like romance," he finally admits, shyly. "I haven't really thought about sex, and I don't think I really want to."

Nick looks a little puzzled, and then he smiles. "Well, I suppose you haven't had the chance, so far. And I'm not saying you should just start getting into it with anyone, but it feels really good and it's fun, so don't be put off by whatever terrible porn you've seen. The other thing is, yeah sometimes it's great just to fuck, but sex can be romantic as well, so don't go thinking that you're giving up one for the other. I think you'll find that when you finally fall for someone you're going to want to have it all."

Kurt's sort of speechless for a moment after Nick finishes talking, and some of it is from embarrassment at Nick's bluntness (and he has to marvel at how easily Nick can talk about this sort of thing), but some of it is also confusion. It feels awkward and weird but he can't help thinking back to his intense crush on Finn. He'd really thought he'd been in love but all he'd ever wanted to do with Finn was things like hold hands, cuddle up on movie dates, and maybe kiss a little.

And even now, when he has this crush on Blaine, he still can't think of doing much more than he'd wanted with Finn. Still, he decides, there's nothing wrong with wanting romance, he's always been different, and perhaps he's just different from everyone else about this as well.

"Maybe," he finally says doubtfully. "But I don't think so."

Nick and Jeff are staring at him with equally baffled expressions, as if he's some kind of new creature they've never seen before, and then suddenly Nick's eyes widen and he turns to Jeff.

"Fuck, Jeff," he says, and he sounds sort of choked up, "I just thought of something. He's _Sebastian's_ canary."

They stare at each other for another moment and then, much to Kurt's astonishment they both collapse onto the bed, laughing loudly.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Kurt says fiercely, feeling both affronted and panicked, and Jeff immediately sits up and holds out a hand to Kurt.

"Whoa, no, Kurt," Jeff says. "I'm sorry. We didn't mean anything bad and we weren't trying to make fun of you, it's just that it's kind of ironic, because, well, this is Sebastian we're talking about."

Kurt's still glaring at them, but he's also sort of amazed, because they'd both been at Warbler practice, wearing earnest expressions when he'd been given Pavarotti, and _now_ they're talking about irony?

"I mean, Sebastian's probably the most sexually active guy at Dalton," Jeff explains, before Kurt can recover and say anything. "You know, he doesn't go to the porn parties because he says he doesn't see the point in wasting his time when he could be doing it for real with someone."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "And I suppose that includes his previous canary," he snipes, and he's startled when Nick laughs.

"Um… that was me, actually," Nick says, blushing slightly, and Kurt's eyes widen, his anger fading, and he's suddenly really curious.

"And, no, nothing ever happened," Nick continues. "Though I have to be honest, Kurt, I wouldn't have minded if it had, but Sebastian never approached me like that, and I didn't have the nerve back then to approach him. And then I got together with my boyfriend so that was it. At the beginning of this year, Sebastian told me that he wasn't going to claim anyone, and I ended up with David as my new mentor."

Kurt's silent, looking at Nick thoughtfully. He really just doesn't know what to think at the moment. It feels like he's being constantly bombarded with a whole lot of information and new thoughts and new feelings, and he's not sure how to process it all. He'd thought that Dalton would solve all of his difficulties but instead it just seems to present him with more problems each day.

It's exhausting and he feels like this has been the longest day he's ever experienced in his life.

"Okay," he finally says. "I think I'm just going to finish my homework and go to bed. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow."

They both look a little worried, so Kurt smiles at them.

"We're cool, though right?" Jeff asks. "We really weren't making fun of you, Kurt. We're friends."

Kurt nods, a warm feeling blooming in his heart. "We're cool. If Nick helps me finish this chemistry stuff," he says, with another smile. "I'm a bit behind from McKinley."

"I can do that," Nick says, grinning, and he settles down beside Kurt.

Twenty minutes later they're finished and somehow Kurt ends up watching a movie with them on Jeff's laptop, his plan of going to bed abandoned in the face of their laughter and teasing; and by the end of the night he feels like he's made another friend at Dalton.

And it also feels like maybe Dalton isn't going to be as bad as he'd been beginning to think.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Kurt wakes up with an excited feeling of anticipation because not only is he going to leave campus and see Mercedes, but he's also not going to have to wear the Dalton uniform.

Even though it still seems a little strange to him to look the same as everyone else, he doesn't actually mind the Dalton uniform that much. At least it's stylish and he's yet to see anyone that looks bad in it. But when he slips on a pair of skinny jeans, pulls on his favourite boots, and adds a soft sweater Kurt feels more like himself than he has in days.

He's just pulling an overcoat out of his closet when Jeff wakes up and yawns loudly.

"Where are you going?" he asks sleepily, and Kurt smiles.

"I'm meeting that friend, remember," he says. "We're going in to Columbus."

"Oh, cool," Jeff says. "Have you been to Columbus before? Where are you going to go?"

"Oh," Kurt replies blankly, "I'm not sure actually. I've only been a couple of times with my Dad."

"Well," Jeff says, sitting up and running a hand through his hair and ruffling it all over the place. "The best places are the Arena district and the Short North is the most gay-friendly, there's a lot of café's and galleries, I think you'd like it. Actually Blaine and a few of us are meeting up there later to go to the movies tonight, you and your friend should join us."

"I'm not sure if she can stay that long but that sounds good," Kurt says, trying to ignore the little thrill that goes through him at the thought of seeing Blaine.

"Great, I'll text you," Jeff says, and then he collapses back on his bed with a groan. "I'm gonna sleep in."

Kurt smiles and quickly leaves the room, as he wants to have coffee before Mercedes arrives. There aren't many boys in the dining room for breakfast, most of them seem to be going out, or have chosen to sleep in, but Trent and Flint are at the Warbler's table so Kurt joins them.

At ten thirty he goes out to the Dalton driveway and a few minutes later Mercedes drives up and Kurt gets in her car. There's a strange sort of awkward silence between them for a moment and Kurt's taken aback by it until Mercedes looks at him and suddenly grins, and then they're both laughing and everything is normal again.

Driving in to Columbus they decide to follow Jeff's advice, and once they've parked and walked along a bit, they both turn to each other with wide eyes.

"This is fantastic," Mercedes breathes, and Kurt nods.

"I know," he says, his heart beating hard with excitement, and it's not just because of the plethora of café's, bars and shops, or the interesting people, it's also the fact that the two men in front of them are walking along holding hands and no one's batting an eyelid.

"I didn't know there were places like this," he adds. "Well, I mean I did, I suppose, but just not in Ohio."

"It's sure different from Lima," Mercedes says, suddenly taking his arm and squeezing it. "Let's have breakfast. Or lunch. I'm starved."

They choose a café that seems to have a fair amount of customers so they figure the food must be good. It's a tight squeeze to get through the crowded tables outside and they are just passing a table full of boys when there's a loud wolf whistle. Mercedes turns, looking pleased and a little embarrassed, but her eyes widen when she realizes that all of the boys are looking at Kurt, and then she grins. Kurt, who's trying not to blush, shoves his hand into the small of her back and pushes her forward.

They finally get to a table inside and Mercedes is now laughing. "Oh my god," she says, spluttering slightly, "I bet that's never happened to you before, has it? But it's about time. My boo's always been gorgeous and it's about damned time somebody noticed."

And now Kurt _is_ blushing, but at the same time he can't help feeling flattered, both by what just happened and her words. It's a much-needed boost to his confidence, he thinks, as he picks up the menu and starts to read it.

They've ordered and are waiting for their food when Mercedes suddenly reaches across the table and takes Kurt's hand.

"Okay, Kurt, I have to say this," she says, squeezing his hand and Kurt's getting a little worried about the serious look in her eyes. Is she going to tell him off for leaving McKinley? If she is, then he doesn't think he can sit through it, but before he can get too worked up, Mercedes takes a deep breath and continues.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," she says. "Really sorry. I kinda feel like I haven't been a very good friend to you lately. I admit it, I got a bit jealous about all the time that you were spending with Blaine, and so I sort of pretended to ignore what was happening to you with Karofsky."

"I know that sounds terrible," she quickly adds, when Kurt opens his mouth to speak, and so he decides to let her finish. "But I swear to you Kurt, I had no idea how bad it was. It's not an excuse though, and I can't tell you how ashamed I am that it was Rachel who tried to help you and not me."

Kurt's speechless as he gazes at Mercedes, taking in her wet eyes and guilty expression, but he turns his hand up under hers and squeezes it. Then he lets out a little sigh.

"Mercedes," he says quietly. "If you make us both cry in a public place I swear to god I will take off and leave you sitting here."

Mercedes looks a little startled but Kurt smiles and she returns it quickly.

"Look, we all made mistakes," Kurt continues. "I didn't ask for help and maybe I should have and things wouldn't have gotten so bad." Of course he doesn't really believe that, after all Mr Schuester had noticed and it hadn't helped at all and, deep down, Kurt's still fairly angry about that. But he won't say all that to Mercedes when she already looks so heartbroken. "But there's only one person to blame in all this and that's Karofsky. You're my best friend, Mercedes, and I love you, so please, let's just forget about all of this and move on."

Mercedes nods but her eyes are still shining suspiciously. "I just miss you at school and at glee club so much," she says, and then she holds up a hand before Kurt can say anything. "But you're right. Let's just enjoy our day together."

Thankfully their order arrives at that moment and by the time they've tasted the food and sipped their coffee, the tension is broken.

"Oh my, this is delicious," Mercedes says, rolling her eyes in delight, and Kurt hums in agreement.

"Okay, Kurt," Mercedes continues. "Spill. What's Dalton like?"

Luckily Kurt's been expecting her to ask so he smiles easily. "Well, it's different," he says. "The work's much harder than at McKinley, but there's no slushies and dumpsters. My roommate's name is Jeff and he's really great. And I now have a pet bird, which reminds me that I need to find out how you go about actually looking after a pet bird."

Mercedes blinks at him for a moment and then she laughs. "Okay," she says. "I'll bite. Why do you have a bird?"

"Um," Kurt replies, looking at her a little nervously, because he's not entirely sure how she'll react to hearing that they are now competitors. "Well, it's a Warbler tradition apparently. And I'm in the Warblers now."

"Oh, Kurt, that's great," Mercedes says, and Kurt lets out a little sigh of relief. "I would have hated it if you hadn't joined their glee club," she adds, and then she laughs. "But please, let me tell Rachel. I can't wait to see her face."

"That's a pleasure you can definitely have," Kurt says, firmly.

The conversation moves on to other things and Kurt's relieved but also can't help feeling a little guilty that he's told Mercedes so little about Dalton. But there's so much that he's still not fully sure of himself that he can't possibly think of a way to verbalize it yet.

Finally they decide to move on and explore some of the tantalizing shops outside, particularly as the café is now very crowded and noisy.

They've squeezed their way back outside and are just passing a table full of laughing boys when one of them suddenly reaches out and takes hold of Kurt's arm, making him jump almost out of his skin. Mercedes must hear the surprised sound he makes because she turns around quickly and when she sees what is happening she grabs Kurt's other arm.

"Not going to say hello, sweetheart?" the boy asks before either of them can say anything, and Kurt gets another shock when the boy pulls off his sunglasses and it's Sebastian.

Kurt's frozen for a moment, gazing into Sebastian's green eyes, and then he hears Mercedes, beside him, clear her throat. That snaps him out of it and he's just about to wrench his arm out of Sebastian's grip when he recognizes Brad and another Dalton senior sitting at the table, watching him closely. So, instead he forces himself to smile.

"Hello," he says, trying to direct it to the entire table and not Sebastian, even though he's pretty sure most of the boys sitting there don't go to Dalton.

"Aren't you going to introduce your friend?" Sebastian asks, with the usual amused note in his voice and when Kurt's eyes snap back to him he's not surprised to see Sebastian's usual smirk either.

"Of course," Kurt says, feeling a little bit panicked at the idea but hiding it gamely. "Mercedes, this is Sebastian. He's… um… he's Dalton's Head boy."

Mercedes gives Kurt an unreadable look and then smiles at Sebastian. "Pleased to meet you," she says, and Kurt's kind of surprised when Sebastian actually stands up and shakes her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet one of Kurt's friends," Sebastian says, and his smile is now completely charming and Kurt can see that Mercedes is completely dazzled by it. "I hope you two enjoy your day."

Mercedes nods speechlessly and Sebastian smiles again before taking his seat.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart," he says to Kurt, and Kurt responds with a weak smile and then shoves Mercedes gently in the back, and a moment later they are out of the café.

Once they've walked a few steps Mercedes suddenly stops and turns to stare at Kurt.

"Okay," she says. "Now you can tell me why that absolutely dreamy guy was calling you sweetheart."

"Dreamy if you mean like a nightmare," Kurt mutters, taking her arm and making her walk again. "It's just a stupid joke." Well, he hopes it is. He thinks it is. He's pretty sure it is.

"Kurt," Mercedes says, and he can tell by her voice she's not going to give up.

"Okay, okay," he says. "Dalton has this system where the older boys are kind of like mentors to the younger ones. Sebastian's my mentor."

"Oh," Mercedes says blankly, and Kurt really hopes that she doesn't have any more questions because he's not going to tell her any more than that.

"Well, that sounds nice," she says. "But why does he call you sweetheart?"

Kurt rolls his eyes in exasperation. "Because he's a jerk and he thinks it's funny," he says impatiently, and then he sees the worried look on her face.

"No, he's harmless, really," he adds quickly. "He just likes teasing people, I guess, and I have to admit that he has helped me, I suppose." And it's true, he begrudgingly tells himself, thinking of Steve.

"But is he gay though?" Mercedes asks quietly. "Because he really is dreamy."

"I have absolutely no idea," Kurt lies, and he hopes she won't pick up on it because he's not really that good at it. "And I don't care either."

"Okay," Mercedes says doubtfully, and then is thankfully distracted by a window display of shoes.

It's a couple of hours later, when they are still drifting through the various galleries and shops, that Kurt gets a text from Jeff. Mercedes looks at him curiously but when Kurt tells her about the movie plan, her face falls.

"Oh, darn," she says. "I really wish I could, but I promised Mom that I'd be home for dinner."

Kurt lets his own disappointment show, because he has to admit that he's a bit nervous about meeting up with a group of boys that he doesn't know that well, even if Blaine and Jeff are amongst them.

"Are you sure?" he asks, and Mercedes nods.

"Yeah, and we've got church tomorrow, so…" she shrugs her shoulders. "Do you need me to drop you back at Dalton?"

"No," Kurt says. "We're having dinner and then the movie. Jeff says I can get a lift back with Blaine, because David's driving in as well. There'll be enough room."

Kurt walks Mercedes back to her car and once there she gives him a long, tight hug.

"I miss you," she says, and Kurt finds himself blinking rapidly over her shoulder. "I'll come again soon. I'll bring Rachel and Tina next time."

Kurt nods, and she hops into her car and drives off. Kurt watches for a moment until her car is gone and then he turns and walks back towards the movie theatre where they are all meeting up first.

When he gets there he immediately spots Jeff's blonde hair, and then, to his relief, he sees Nick. As he gets closer they wave and Kurt's heart skips a little beat when he sees Blaine standing beside Jeff.

"Hey, Kurt," Blaine says, with his usual charming smile. "You know David and Thad and Wes, but this is Jill, David's girlfriend, and Wes' girlfriend is Lisa."

The girls, who are both pretty and seem pleasant, wave and smile at Kurt and then Nick taps his arm.

"This is Liam," he says, pulling forward a boy that Kurt recognizes from his history class. "He's my boyfriend."

"Hi," says Liam, and Kurt smiles as they shake hands.

"Okay, I'm starved," Thad says, rubbing his hands together. "Let's go eat."

They walk a couple of blocks along the street and then into a busy pizza restaurant. Kurt's heart sinks a little because he's never been all that fond of pizza but when they walk through the restaurant and he sees what is on the tables they pass he realizes that this pizza is nothing like the pizza in Lima. It actually looks delicious.

"I love this place," Nick says to Kurt as they sit down at a large table. "It's always packed but it's fantastic."

"Did we book?" Kurt asks curiously, and Nick nods.

"You have to," he says, as Kurt picks up the menu.

Kurt's still reading the menu when someone slips into the empty seat between Kurt and Thad saying, "Sorry I'm late, guys."

He recognizes the voice immediately, and he almost drops the menu in startled surprise as he looks up to meet the amused green-eyed gaze of Sebastian Smythe.

"Don't look so shocked, sweetheart," Sebastian says quietly. "I did say I'd see you later."

Kurt chooses not to reply, mainly because he can't actually think of anything to say, so instead he ignores Sebastian and turns to give Jeff a slightly resentful look. Jeff just shrugs, although he does look a little apologetic, and when Sebastian obviously witnesses the exchange and laughs, Kurt's body fills with tension.

Thankfully, Sebastian starts talking to Thad, and although Kurt slowly starts to relax, his mind is buzzing with questions. Had Sebastian always intended to be there? Had he known that Kurt would be there as well? And had Jeff known that Sebastian would be there when he'd invited Kurt along? At least the last question Kurt can get the answer to, and he decides he'll interrogate Jeff at the first opportunity.

His first opportunity comes quickly, for when they are leaving the restaurant Jeff tugs on Kurt's arm and pulls him a little aside from the others.

"I swear I didn't know this morning," he says, sincerity shining in his eyes. "I did know when I sent you that text but, you know Kurt, you can't avoid him forever, and I wanted you to come with us tonight."

Kurt sighs a little but gives Jeff a reassuring smile because Jeff is (Kurt has to admit) right. He can't avoid Sebastian forever and he has a feeling that as soon as he accepts that, the easier it will be to have Sebastian as his mentor. The only problem is he just isn't quite ready to forgive Sebastian for the argument about Blaine.

And, of course, once they reach the movie theatre and Kurt takes a seat next to Jeff and Blaine, Sebastian immediately plonks down in the seat beside him and Kurt only just manages not to roll his eyes in frustration.

Sebastian sprawls out in his seat, his long legs stretched out before him, and Kurt tenses up again as he tries to ignore him. It's a little hard though, because Jeff and Blaine are talking quietly together, so Kurt pretends to concentrate on the advertisements playing on the screen.

"You know, sweetheart, I didn't pick you for someone who'd be so interested in sporting goods but you really do seem fascinated by this ad," Sebastian suddenly says in a low voice near Kurt's ear, and Kurt jumps a little in his seat.

"I was thinking," Kurt says quickly, flushing a little, because he'd completely lost track of what he was watching, and he's ashamed to admit it but he'd actually been trying to eavesdrop on Jeff and Blaine. And he has a terrible feeling that Sebastian has guessed it.

"I realize that's a foreign concept to you," he continues, defensively, "but most people tend to do it at some point in their lives."

For a brief moment, he wonders if maybe he's gone too far. After all, Sebastian _is_ his mentor and Kurt supposes that he probably shouldn't get into the habit of insulting him all the time, but again, Sebastian just laughs, and he actually nudges Kurt's arm.

"Little bitch," he whispers, and something in Kurt's stomach flutters, and he spends the next confused minute trying to ignore it. Then Sebastian leans closer again.

"I could hold your hand if you like," he offers, and Kurt turns to look at him in horrified amazement. Strangely he doesn't feel any of the fear that he might have two days ago but he decides that it's because he's figured out that Sebastian likes to provoke him, and he's pretty sure that's what this is.

"And why on earth would I want you to do that?" he asks sarcastically, and he's not at all surprised when Sebastian smirks.

"Well, here we are at the movies on this big group date thing," he says. "It seems like the right thing to do."

" _We_ are _not_ on a date," Kurt says flatly, and Sebastian gives him a look so full of over exaggerated and utterly fake surprise that Kurt struggles not to laugh.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian asks, his eyes wide. "I would say it feels a bit like a date but I've never actually been on one before."

"Oh, why am I not surprised," Kurt mutters, and Sebastian's smirk returns.

"Been listening to gossip, have you, sweetheart?" he drawls, with a raised brow but there's a strange expression in his eyes that Kurt can't quite figure out. All the same, Kurt can't help dropping his gaze for a moment because, after all, it's true. He _has_ been hearing a lot about Sebastian.

"Why don't you ask me how much of it is true?" Sebastian asks, and there's a note in his voice that Kurt can only think of as suggestive. "I'd be happy to _enlighten_ you."

And now there _is_ a little tendril of nervous anxiety tightening in Kurt's stomach and he shifts away from Sebastian slightly, and Sebastian smiles as if he was expecting it.

"I'm really not interested," Kurt says, in a bored voice, hoping that will end the conversation and he lets out a small breath of relief when the lights dim down completely and the movie starts.

Unfortunately, about half an hour later Kurt realizes that he's sitting through one of the worst movies he's ever seen. Beside him, Sebastian is shifting restlessly in his seat, and Kurt's just as bored, and he's really not that surprised when Sebastian leans closer to him again.

"Do you have any pins?"

" _What?_ " Kurt whispers. "No. Why?"

"I want to stick them in my eyes," Sebastian groans, and Kurt almost laughs. Thankfully he doesn't because a couple of people nearby have already turned to hush Sebastian.

"Seriously?" Sebastian says to one of them in a bewildered voice. "You're really watching this drivel?"

"If you don't like it, leave," says one of the men who'd hushed them, but a couple of girls nearby giggle loudly, and send Sebastian flirtatious glances. Kurt sinks into his seat and tries to ignore it all.

"Excellent idea," Sebastian says, giving the man a wide smile, and then he leans forward and looks along their row of seats.

"Hey guys," he calls, ignoring the people who are hushing him again. "How about we ditch this shit?"

And that's it for Kurt; he can't stop himself from thumping Sebastian's arm.

"Oh my god, you are so _rude_ ," he hisses. "How did you ever become Head boy?"

"Ah, that's a dark secret," Sebastian says, with a wink. "Come on. We're out of here."

And before he can say or do anything, Kurt finds his hand firmly grasped in Sebastian's as he's pulled to his feet and led out of the movie theatre.

"Oh, thank god," David says, once they are all outside. "That was terrible. I honestly thought I was going to die from sheer horror at one stage."

"I didn't think it was that bad," Thad says, and Nick gives him an incredulous look.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" asks one of the girls (Kurt thinks it's Jill).

"We've still got two hours before curfew," Blaine says, and then everyone turns to look at Sebastian expectantly, and it's at this point that Kurt realizes that Sebastian is still holding his hand.

He tries to surreptitiously pull away but Sebastian's fingers are tangled with his, and everyone is watching them, so he doesn't want to draw any attention to it. Luckily, only Jeff seems to notice and he has an amused, teasing light in his eyes that makes Kurt long to throw something at him.

"There's a coffeehouse down the road that has an open mic night on Saturday's. Sometimes it's pretty good," Sebastian says, and Kurt's fairly surprised. He'd thought that Sebastian would be more likely to suggest some sort of bar but as he looks around at the others, he supposes that Sebastian had thought it wouldn't be a good idea with such a large underage group. He can't help feeling relieved.

At any rate, there's a general agreement that the coffeehouse sounds like a good idea, and once they are heading off, Kurt is finally able to pull his hand out of Sebastian's. Sebastian's only reaction is to give him an amused glance that Kurt returns with a haughty look of his own, trying to hide the fact that he's rather taken aback by the sudden discovery that Sebastian's hand wrapped around his own hadn't actually felt that bad. Warm, large and slightly rough (probably from playing lacrosse, Kurt decides) there had been something sort of … nice… about it, which is something he doesn't want to think too much about, Kurt decides, with a little shake of his head.

The coffeehouse is dimly lit and intimate, with a strong, rich aroma of coffee in the air and Kurt likes it immediately. They manage to grab a couple of tables near the back and Kurt relaxes as he sips his coffee and watches a girl playing a guitar up on the small stage.

There are quite a lot of people, mostly young, and those seated up the front seem to spend most of their time watching the performances. At the back of the place the atmosphere is more relaxed and people tend to wander a bit and chat quietly, so Kurt isn't surprised when their own group starts to mingle.

Kurt's in heaven though, because Blaine stays by his side, talking quietly about Kurt's day with Mercedes, even after Jeff has left the table. He can't help seeing it as a hopeful sign, particularly when over Blaine's shoulder he sees Jeff exchanging numbers with a boy that he's been talking to for a while. And Kurt figures Jeff would not do that if he was in some way involved with Blaine.

Eventually David looks at his watch and frowns. "We'd better go," he says, "I have to get the girls back to their school. Where's Sebastian?"

"The last I saw of him he was making out with some guy against the back wall," Lisa giggles, and David rolls his eyes.

"Typical," he says, and then he looks at Blaine. "I've really got to go. Can you take Sebastian? I'll take Thad."

Blaine nods, and as the others leave he looks around the table. "Okay, who wants to go and find Sebastian?"

Kurt sinks into his chair a bit because he's a little worried that as Sebastian's his mentor they might decide that Kurt should be the one to find him and he's really not willing to witness Sebastian in some sort of sordid hook-up scenario.

"Text him," Nick says. "He'll show up."

He hasn't by the time they leave though, and once they reach the car Kurt's thoroughly relieved because he suddenly realizes there wouldn't have been room for him anyway.

He slides into the back seat with Nick and Liam and he's just about to close the door when it's wrenched out of his hand. His heart sinks when he sees that it's Sebastian, breathing hard as if he's been running.

"Move over, sweetheart," he says, grinning at Kurt, and Kurt turns to look at Nick with a horrified expression.

"I'll sit on Liam's lap," Nick says quickly, but Kurt can tell he's trying not to laugh.

They finally all settle in and as Blaine starts the car and pulls out onto the road, Kurt tries to ignore the way that Sebastian is pressed against his side with one arm flung along the back of the seat behind Kurt's head. He keeps his face turned towards Nick and Liam but he has to give up on that when they start sharing soft kisses and he stares straight ahead, fighting not to blush.

Thankfully Jeff turns on the radio and Kurt focuses on that. It's not very loud though, and what with the long day he's had, the soft music and the warmth in the car, Kurt's eyes grow heavy.

He wakes up when they arrive at Dalton and Blaine is parking. His head is nestled comfortably on a firm shoulder, and his forehead is pressed gently against the warm soft skin of someone's throat. He opens his eyes slowly, and then freezes in horror when he realizes that it's Sebastian that he's sleeping on.

Sebastian must feel the sudden tension in Kurt because the arm that Kurt can now feel wrapped around his waist tightens a little as Sebastian laughs so softly that Kurt is fairly certain that he's the only one who can hear it.

"Sleeping beauty wakes," Sebastian says, just as quietly. "But without a kiss."

That makes Kurt pull away quickly, and of course Sebastian laughs. Kurt glares at him, even though he's thoroughly mortified that it has been he who ended up plastering himself against the other boy. The fact that he was asleep at the time doesn't make it any less humiliating as far as Kurt's concerned.

Sebastian ignores Kurt's haughty look and climbs out of the car, calling out a quick 'good night' to everyone as he disappears through a nearby door.

Kurt follows Jeff to their dorm and quickly gets ready for bed. As he settles down against the pillows he's warm and comfortable and he can't help remembering that he'd felt like that when he'd woken up before in Sebastian's arms. That makes him shiver a little, but he sternly represses it, firmly reminding himself that Sebastian's arms had only a short time previously been holding someone else, and doing god knows what else, a thought disturbing enough to make Kurt force Sebastian out of his head.

The next day Kurt catches the bus into Westerville with Jeff, goes to a pet shop and buys birdseed and cage liners… and he resolutely does not think about Sebastian Smythe at all.


	8. Chapter 8

The next couple of days at Dalton are actually quite peaceful. There is a Warbler’s practice on Monday that Kurt thoroughly enjoys and he’s catching up on his classes quickly, so all in all, he’s starting to feel as if he’s settling into Dalton. Even his pre-breakfast coffee times with Sebastian are uneventful. Sebastian seems subdued and slightly distracted, although he still asks Kurt about his classes and he still seems incapable of putting on a tie properly but Kurt feels like he can cope with it. And maybe that’s what lulls him into a false sense of security because he has to admit that when it all does go down the proverbial drain, he only has himself to blame.

It’s Tuesday afternoon and Kurt’s on his way to collect Sebastian’s lacrosse equipment when he runs into Blaine, and when Blaine asks him if he wants to go off-campus for a coffee, Kurt only hesitates for a second. He knows Sebastian’s going to be annoyed with him, but it feels like so long since he spent any time really alone with Blaine and Kurt just can’t resist.

They’re in Blaine’s car when Kurt gets the first text. He checks it quickly - it’s a simple ‘ _where are you?_ ’ - and ignores it. A couple more come and Kurt doesn’t even bother to look. By the time they get to the café his phone is ringing, so Kurt switches it off and Blaine looks at him curiously.

“It’s just Rachel,” Kurt says, with what he hopes isn’t a sickly smile, because the nerves are starting to build in his stomach and he doesn’t like telling lies. “She’s bugging me about a song. I’ll call her later.”

“I’m getting very curious to meet her,” Blaine says, as they head into the café and get into line.

“I wouldn’t indulge that feeling,” Kurt says with a wry smile. “You’ll only regret it.”

Blaine laughs and they order coffee and Kurt starts to relax, until they sit down and Blaine gives him a serious look.

“Now that it’s been a few days since you were claimed I just wanted to make sure that you’re feeling better about the whole thing,” he says, and the tension knots in Kurt’s stomach again.

“I’m not sure,” he says slowly. “I still don’t like the idea but it hasn’t been completely terrible, I guess.”

“And Sebastian?”

The knot in Kurt’s stomach tightens and he almost feels a little sick because he’s fairly sure that Sebastian’s reaction to Kurt turning off his phone is probably not going to be good. He takes a quick sip of coffee, savouring its soothing warmth and rich taste.

“Kurt?”

“What about him?” Kurt asks, and Blaine looks at him as if he knows that Kurt is stalling for time.

“Is he okay with you?” Blaine asks, with a raised eyebrow and Kurt sighs.

“Yeah, I suppose,” he says quietly, and then smiles weakly. “Although he’s annoying and he seems incapable of wearing a tie correctly… but we can’t all be perfect.”

He’s expecting Blaine to laugh, or at least smile, but instead Kurt’s taken aback when Blaine gives him a slightly disapproving look instead.

“Kurt, he’s your mentor,” Blaine says, with a little shake of his head, and Kurt remembers the warning that Jeff gave him but he’s still completely dumbfounded by Blaine’s reaction. And he has to admit, also disappointed.

“So?”

“You shouldn’t talk about him like that,” Blaine says, and Kurt rolls his eyes. “I mean it, Kurt,” Blaine continues. “He’s there to help you and protect you. You should show him some respect.”

“Oh, really,” Kurt responds, and he’s struggling to hold onto his temper because he really doesn’t want to fight with Blaine and he sort of can’t believe that it’s happening. “So, even if he were to, as Wes put it, ‘express his interest in me’, an interest that I clearly didn’t return, I should still respect him?”

“Of course,” Blaine says seriously, and Kurt almost falls off his chair. “He has every right to do that, just as you have every right to say no. It’s in the rules, Kurt.”

Kurt’s dumbstruck and he’s biting his lip to stop himself saying something like ‘ _fuck the rules’_. He can’t believe that Blaine is saying these sort of things and he’s also a little galled at himself for the disappointment he’s feeling that Blaine has expressed absolutely no curiosity (or concern) about whether Sebastian has actually approached Kurt. It’s all making him feel very confused and his head’s actually starting to ache and so all he can finally do is look at Blaine blankly and say, “Just because it’s in the rules doesn’t make it right.”

“Well, I know that Kurt,” Blaine says, with a hint of impatience that makes Kurt blink. “But you signed off on those rules when you became Sebastian’s canary so the right thing for you to do is obey them.”

And Kurt still doesn’t entirely agree with that but he’s distracted from replying by the thought of Sebastian waiting for his lacrosse equipment and he shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

“I think we should talk about something else,” he says in a strangled voice, and Blaine gives him a curious look but eventually nods.

There’s a long awkward silence after that and Kurt is actually starting to think that spending this time with Blaine has not been worth the risk of blowing off one of Sebastian’s tasks, when Blaine finally smiles, and Kurt’s transfixed by it, his heart fluttering the way it always does at the sight.

“This coffee’s gone cold,” Blaine says. “I’ll get us some more.”

By the time Blaine comes back they both seem to have recovered and in a short time they’re talking again and laughing just the way they did before Kurt came to Dalton and it’s really easy for Kurt to push away the conversation they’ve just had and forget about Sebastian for a while.

They lose track of time so Kurt’s surprised to find that it’s almost dark outside when they leave the café. He realizes, with a brief flicker of anxiety, that lacrosse practice will have finished and that Sebastian will probably be looking for him by now, but he’s basking in the sunshine of Blaine’s attention and he can’t really bring himself to worry about it that much yet. Instead he enjoys every moment of the drive back to Dalton, as they both sing along loudly to Blaine’s iPod.

They’re still singing when they get to Kurt’s dorm. Blaine flings open the door, probably hoping to startle Jeff, Kurt thinks, and Kurt follows him in to find Sebastian sitting on Kurt’s bed.

Sebastian looks calm and he’s even smiling slightly but when Kurt spots Jeff sitting at his desk, Jeff gives him a nervous, grimacing smile and shakes his head, and that tight knot of anxiety is suddenly back in Kurt’s stomach.

Sebastian looks at them for a moment with a bland expression and then he stands up, and it feels a little like he’s towering over the both of them.

“Will you please explain to me,” he says to Blaine pleasantly, “why you thought it was appropriate behaviour to take off with my canary when he was supposed to be with me?”

Blaine looks absolutely horrified and then he shoots Kurt a reproachful and _disappointed_ look that freezes Kurt completely and makes something start aching deep in his heart.

“I apologize,” Blaine says to Sebastian. “I didn’t know. I thought he was free.”

Kurt closes his eyes for a moment as he hears the words. And he knows that he would never have expected Blaine to lie for him, not for a moment, but to hear that _disapproving_ tone in Blaine’s voice, directed at _Kurt_ , is kind of killing him.

“I see,” Sebastian says, and then he looks at Kurt, his eyes unreadable. “Come with me, Kurt.”

Kurt hesitates. He’d expected Sebastian to be angry and it’s very unsettling that he doesn’t seem to be, although Kurt can’t really tell whether he’s just hiding it well. What he does know is that he’s reluctant to be alone with him when he’s so unsure of Sebastian’s reaction.

And then Sebastian’s at the door and Blaine gives Kurt a little push in the small of his back.

“Go,” he says. “Don’t make your bad behaviour any worse.”

Kurt can’t stop the little gasp that escapes his lips. The words echo in his ears and the ache of betrayal in his chest just _hurts_. For a brief, confusing moment he just hates; hates Dalton and hates Blaine and he just wants to go home. He’s even more confused when Sebastian turns his head to look at Blaine and Kurt catches a flash of contempt in his eyes. It’s gone so quickly that he almost thinks it wasn’t actually there but it’s enough to startle Kurt out of his frozen state.

He follows Sebastian out of the room, his eyes stinging with unshed tears and his throat heavy and tight, but it’s nothing to the shattered feeling inside his chest because he knows now that Blaine will always place the Dalton system above his friendship with Kurt. The conversation in the café was his first clue and he really wishes he’d paid more attention to it because if he had, perhaps this final confirmation wouldn’t be so shocking and so devastating.

They walk in silence to Sebastian’s room and once inside Kurt sinks into a chair, because he’s actually starting to tremble with how much he’s trying to keep control of himself.

“I didn’t say you could sit,” Sebastian says, and Kurt sighs wearily, but gets to his feet. He doesn’t look at Sebastian again; he doesn’t seem to be able to lift his eyes from the floor so he almost jumps out of his skin when a hand under his chin pushes his face up. He’s so surprised by it that he doesn’t even think to pull away. Instead he stares at Sebastian in confusion, for Sebastian is almost expressionless as he calmly studies Kurt’s face for a moment, and then lets him go and moves away.

“Okay, you can sit down, before you fall down,” he says, and Kurt can’t even be bothered to feel resentful at the amusement in Sebastian’s voice but he does stubbornly remain standing.

“Don’t put people on a pedestal, sweetheart. If you don’t they can’t fall off it, so take this opportunity to learn that.”

Kurt hears the faint hint of bitterness in Sebastian’s voice but he ignores it because the words are like a lash on the raw wound of his pride.

“Oh, _thank you_ ,” he says sarcastically, glaring at Sebastian. “Your wisdom is truly inspiring but you can be sure I’ll never put _you_ on a pedestal.”

“Oh, there’s my little bitch,” Sebastian mocks. “I wouldn’t want you to, sweetheart, that’s the point. But don’t take the risk of making me angry right now, because we still have something to settle here.”

Kurt flushes and drops his eyes because deep down he knows that he left Sebastian high and dry without even a message to let him know that he wasn’t bringing his lacrosse gear, and on top of that he’d even turned off his phone when Sebastian had tried to contact him. It’s actually the type of rude behaviour that Kurt finds frustrating in other people and the fact that he’s chosen to do it to someone isn’t a very good feeling. Particularly now when it seems it wasn’t even worth it. But he’s not going to think about Blaine yet, he decides, especially not in front of Sebastian.

“It’s not like I’ve given you a lot to do,” Sebastian points out, and Kurt takes a deep breath.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he says, and he finally meets Sebastian’s eyes again. “But I want you to know that I didn’t tell Blaine I was free. I just… went with him when he asked me.”

“Oh yes,” Sebastian says, “because he’s just so hard to resist, isn’t he?”

Kurt stays silent because even though the question annoys him (and he’s sure it was meant to) there’s also a sort of flat blankness to Sebastian’s voice that Kurt doesn’t understand and he’s not sure how to respond. He frowns in confusion and it feels a bit like he’s walked out into the middle of a quagmire and there’s absolutely no clue as to where to find the next solid part to step onto.

After a moment though, Sebastian just shrugs. “Whatever,” he says. “You made your choice and you had to know that I’d have to punish you for it, right?”

Kurt nods slowly, still very confused by Sebastian’s offhand manner. Again Sebastian’s not reacting the way that Kurt had thought he would and he’s beginning to wonder if he’ll ever be able to get a handle on Sebastian’s moods.

“Private detention, then, starting tomorrow,” says Sebastian, and he actually sounds bored. “So that means that after class, or after Warbler’s practice, you come to this room and you stay in this room until curfew, except for dinner. You do your homework here and once you’ve finished that I’ll find something else for you to do.”

Sebastian’s already sitting down at his desk and looking at something on his laptop as he’s talking to Kurt and Kurt watches him, still feeling completely off-balance.

“For how long?” he asks quietly, after clearing his throat nervously, and Sebastian glances at him with a dismissive expression that makes something ache in Kurt’s chest that feels a lot like regret. He tries to ignore it.

“One week,” Sebastian says. “That includes the weekend. You can go now.” And he starts typing as if Kurt’s already gone.

_One week!_ , Kurt thinks in horror, and for a brief second he thinks of arguing but he can’t actually bring himself to do it. Instead he quietly leaves the room and leans against the wall outside, letting out an explosive sigh of relief.

Except he’s not sure it’s relief. In his head, he knows it should feel like he got off easy (even with that one week of private detention hanging over his head). Sebastian didn’t get angry, there was no yelling, no argument, and he hasn’t really made Kurt do anything horrible like he could have, but it still feels like something just went very wrong and Kurt can’t quite put his finger on what it is that’s making him feel like that.

He’s still trying to figure it out as he slowly walks back to his own dorm room and when he gets there he opens the door quietly, almost in a daze, so it’s a moment before he realizes what he’s seeing, and then it’s like his feet are glued to the floor.

Jeff is still sitting at his desk, but Blaine is standing beside him, his hand on Jeff’s face, tilting it upwards. And they are kissing, their mouths glued together, and so lost in it that neither of them have heard Kurt open the door.

Kurt stands for a moment, eyes wide, until one of them (and he thinks it’s Blaine) lets out a soft moan and then he can finally move. He steps back quickly, closing the door gently, his mind almost blank. That’s not going to last for long though; he can already feel the sharp burn of disappointment and loss rising from his chest into his throat and he’s going to have to find somewhere to hide quickly because he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to hold it back.

He’s still not completely familiar with Dalton but he does manage to find a study lounge that’s empty and dark and he curls up in the corner of one of the leather lounges fighting against the tears that are building in his eyes.

He wishes he had his phone but it’s still in his messenger bag back in his room and there’s no way he’s going to go back there yet. Even if he had it, he’s not sure who he’d call though. Certainly not his dad or one of the girls, not with the quaver that he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to keep out of his voice. Oddly enough he thinks of Finn, and god he misses them all so much, he just feels so _alone_. Almost as alone as he’d felt when Karofsky had been at his worst.

For some reason that makes him think of the way Sebastian had asked him, in that soft voice, about what had happened at McKinley, and that’s it. The tears are flowing and Kurt can’t stop them.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he whispers, pulling up his knees and hiding his face against them.

“Kurt?”

It’s Nick’s voice and Kurt almost groans aloud, his face heating with embarrassment at being caught like this. He feels the movement of the couch as Nick settles beside him but he can’t look up.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kurt snuffles, his voice muffled by his knees. “It’s just been a shit day, that’s all.”

He feels Nick’s hand squeeze his shoulder. “Is this about you ditching Sebastian’s lacrosse gear?”

“Oh god,” Kurt says, finally looking up in horror. “Does everyone know about that?”

“Nah,” Nick grins. “Liam’s on the team so he told me.”

“Look, don’t worry about it,” Nick continues, whilst Kurt quickly swipes at his own cheeks with his sleeve. “You know, last year I took off with Liam one afternoon and forgot to pick up some book Sebastian really needed and he was so annoyed that he made me wash his car every day for a week. So, you’re not the only one to fuck up.”

And, really, Kurt actually wishes that Nick hadn’t told him that because knowing that Sebastian has been strangely lenient just makes him feel even guiltier, and a little nervous about the reason for that leniency. At the same time he still can’t help feeling some resentment about the fact that he’s being punished at all, Sebastian’s another _student_ for god’s sake and yet now Kurt’s got a detention from him, and even though he knows that he agreed to the rules when he became Sebastian’s canary he’s still having a hard time accepting it.

It’s all so confusing, Kurt thinks with a little sigh, and on top of that there’s _Blaine_ … and Jeff.

Nick’s still watching him with curious eyes though, so Kurt gives him a little smile.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“No, nothing,” Kurt says quickly because even if Nick does know about Blaine and Jeff (and Kurt has a feeling he doesn’t) he really doesn’t want to explain why he’s so upset about it.

“Are you sure?” Nick asks, frowning doubtfully, and Kurt nods.

“Yeah,” he says. “I just… I still miss my family… and my friends, that’s all. And it got to me for a moment. I’m fine, really.”

“Yeah, I get homesick at the beginning of every term,” Nick admits, smiling and squeezing Kurt’s shoulder again. “But once you settle in it passes, and it will be the same for you, Kurt. And you’re lucky, you know, your family and friends are nearby.”

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees. “You’re right. Thanks, Nick.”

“No problem,” Nick says, standing up and taking Kurt’s hand. He pulls him to his feet and then, much to Kurt’s astonishment, gives him a quick hug. “We should go to dinner.”

Kurt follows, feeling a little better after that hug, but by the time he sits with Nick and Liam at the Warbler’s table he’s full of tension again. Sebastian is sitting with Wes and David and he ignores Kurt completely but Kurt’s so busy trying not to look at Blaine or Jeff that he doesn’t really care.

Finally the meal is over and he follows Jeff back to their dorm room, totally relieved when Blaine doesn’t join them… and that’s a first, he thinks, he’d never thought that he wouldn’t want to spend time with Blaine.

Jeff gives him a puzzled look when Kurt sits down at his desk and quietly starts on his neglected homework.

“Are you okay?” he finally asks Kurt in a hesitant voice. “You didn’t get in a lot of trouble with Sebastian, did you?”

Kurt looks up, sees Jeff’s worried face, and can’t help feeling guilty. After all it’s not Jeff’s fault if Blaine prefers _him_ over Kurt, and Jeff’s been a good friend. So Kurt smiles as pleasantly as he can and shakes his head.

“No, not at all,” he says. “Just private detention, so you’ll be happy to know you’ll get plenty of privacy this week.” He flushes a little as he says it because he’s got a fairly good idea now as to what use Jeff will have for that extra privacy.

But when Jeff laughs it’s infectious and Kurt can’t help joining him, and a few minutes later they’re talking the way they normally would.

He doesn’t think about Blaine until he’s in bed and then his mind can’t help but dwell on that conversation in the café, the awful moment later when Blaine had told him to go with Sebastian, and then the scene he’d witnessed between Blaine and Jeff. His heart feels like lead and the tears slip out against his will and he knows that he’s lost something; it will never be the same with Blaine again.

He’s awake for a long time and when he does finally sleep, it’s restless and fitful and his dreams are filled with dark, gloomy café’s with terrible coffee, scenes of Blaine kissing other people, all mixed up with flashes of Sebastian with a distant, disdainful expression whenever he’s looking at Kurt.  
  
When Kurt gets up in the morning his head is aching and his eyes are scratchy and heavy; and when he takes coffee to Sebastian's room, Sebastian's tie is perfect.


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt sits in his usual chair, sips his coffee, and stares at Sebastian’s tie. Sebastian isn’t looking at him, he’s sitting at his desk, typing into his laptop and he hasn’t said a word to Kurt since he thanked him for the coffee that he’s hardly drinking.

Kurt’s head is still aching but he really doesn’t care because Sebastian’s tie is really annoying him. He knows now that it’s always been Sebastian’s deliberate intention that his crooked tie should annoy Kurt, but now that it’s neat and perfect it just seems to irritate Kurt even more.

He glances at his watch and there’s still another twenty minutes until breakfast and he doesn’t think he can stand this heavy silence for a minute longer. His nerves are still raw from everything that happened the day before but, he tells himself, Kurt Hummel is fierce and it’s about time he remembered that. So, he’s going to take the first step.

“What are you working on?” he asks quietly, and he winces a little because, okay, that was a baby step.

“Set lists for the Warblers,” Sebastian says without looking up. “Sectionals is the weekend after next and we want to try out a few variations.”

Sebastian goes back to typing and Kurt frowns to himself because he guesses that he should really be thankful that Sebastian seems to have given up on calling him ‘sweetheart’ but for some reason he’s not.

He probably should also be grateful that Sebastian is now quiet and polite (and cold, his unhelpful mind supplies) instead of obnoxious and annoying, but again Kurt’s not. In fact, Kurt finally has to admit, he hates it. He still doesn’t like the Sebastian that he’d had to deal with before but he _really_ doesn’t like this Sebastian, and it makes him want to provoke Sebastian, just to get any sort of reaction out of him. So, maybe it’s time for a bigger step, Kurt thinks.

“I don’t really like you very much,” Kurt says politely, and Sebastian _finally_ looks at him and blinks.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said, I don’t really like you very much,” Kurt repeats. “You’re arrogant and obnoxious and you smirk too much. Also, I saw what you were wearing on the weekend and you have questionable dress sense.”

“Fine,” Sebastian says flatly, but there’s a glint in his eye. “Well, if we’re going to be so honest with each other, sweetheart, I have no problem telling you that I think you’re judgemental and selfish and I’ve never been so glad for the Dalton uniform because it means my eyes won’t get burned everyday looking at the sort of gender confused ensemble _you_ were wearing on the weekend.”

Kurt narrows his eyes.

“Your teeth are too big.”

“Your teeth are too small.” And then Sebastian smirks and winks. “Although that can be a good thing.”

Kurt’s not entirely sure what Sebastian means by that but he’s pretty certain that it’s some kind of innuendo and he flushes a little. But he’s going to hold his ground… only unfortunately that seems to mean he’s just going to say the first thing that comes into his head.

“I don’t like your tie.”

“I don’t like…” Sebastian begins and then he frowns. “ _What?_ ”

Kurt rolls his eyes but it’s more at himself than at Sebastian.

“Isn’t it time for breakfast yet?” he asks in his most innocent voice. “I’m hungry.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Sebastian says. He laughs and Kurt has to admit he’s kind of relieved to hear it, even though it’s directed at him yet again. “You just said you don’t like my tie and you’re not getting away with it. I want to know why you said that.”

Kurt huffs a little, Sebastian laughs again, and for some reason Kurt can’t suppress his own slight smile.

“I just can’t imagine how you’ve managed to get through three years at this school without being able to tie a tie properly.”

By the time Kurt’s finished speaking Sebastian is watching him with narrowed eyes full of speculation, and Kurt fidgets a little in his chair. He’s starting to think that he’s taken leave of his own senses, or he’s lost it from lack of sleep, because otherwise he can’t imagine why he’s become so fixated on this tie thing. It had annoyed him when he’d had to fix it every morning and now, for some stupid, unknown reason he seems to be actually trying to set it up so he has to do it again.

Finally Sebastian laughs again and then he slowly stands up and leans against his desk.

“Well, fix it then,” he says, his voice full of amusement.

Kurt rolls his eyes again (this time at both of them because it seems they’re both idiots) but he gets up, goes over and straightens Sebastian’s perfectly straight tie, and when Sebastian says “thanks sweetheart” and smirks, Kurt feels as if he’s found a bit of solid ground for the first time since the previous afternoon.

It’s a feeling that lasts until he gets to the dining room. Sebastian sits down with Nick and Liam and is immediately drawn into a conversation with Nick, so Kurt slowly takes a seat beside Jeff and Blaine. He finds himself watching them carefully whenever he gets the chance and other than the fondness he’d noticed before in Blaine’s eyes whenever he looks at Jeff, Kurt can’t see any clue that their relationship is anything more than friends. If he didn’t know any better Kurt would think that he might have imagined the whole thing and he can’t really figure out why they seem to want to keep their relationship a secret.

He sighs a little as he heads to class. Blaine’s been perfectly friendly and normal with Kurt since the previous afternoon and as much as Kurt still finds himself wanting to be friends with Blaine (and he still has a slight tendency to melt when Blaine smiles at him) he can’t help being a little wary of him. And that hurts because after everything that Blaine had done to help Kurt with Karofsky (and aside from Kurt’s pointless crush), Kurt had sort of come to rely on Blaine as a friend. All in all, it’s a great relief to get to class and take his seat beside Nick and forget about it all for a while.

“How are you today?” Nick asks while they’re waiting for the teacher to arrive and Kurt smiles.

“Much better,” he says. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”

“Hey, no problem,” Nick says, and Kurt watches him as he rifles through his bag looking for his chemistry textbook.

Seeing Nick talking to Sebastian that morning at breakfast has reminded Kurt that Nick was Sebastian’s previous canary and he can’t help wondering if maybe Nick might have the answer to a question that’s been in the back of Kurt’s mind ever since Sebastian claimed him.

“So,” he begins hesitantly, and Nick looks at him curiously. “So, you’re sort of friends with Sebastian, right?”

Nick nods but there’s a cautious light in his eyes that puzzles Kurt a little.

“Yeah,” Nick responds. “He’s pretty cool.”

“But you talk,” Kurt says. “I mean you were talking this morning.”

“Yeah,” Nick says again, and he looks even more wary now and Kurt's suddenly got alarm bells ringing in his head.  
  
"Oh my god," he breathes, "you didn't tell him about yesterday in the study lounge, did you?"  
  
Nick shakes his head immediately. "No, Kurt, I wouldn't do that," he says quickly and Kurt's actually relieved to hear that Nick sounds a little affronted and he quickly apologizes and Nick reaches over and pats his arm.  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it," he says, smiling. "But I have to be honest with you, he did ask me how I thought you were settling in at Dalton. I didn't tell him anything," he adds quickly when Kurt frowns, "but I did say that maybe you were a bit homesick."  
  
Kurt's frown of confusion deepens and he's not entirely sure what to think about Sebastian's show of concern. Nick is still watching him and eventually he smiles at Kurt.  
  
"He _is_ your mentor, Kurt," he says softly. "It's his job to look out for you, remember?"  
  
Kurt nods slowly and it seems he's going to have to accept that Sebastian appears to be taking his role as Kurt's mentor seriously. It's a side of Sebastian that doesn't seem to quite mesh in Kurt's head with his usual flippant behaviour but he thinks back to Sebastian's concerns about Kurt's grades and the way he's always asking Kurt if he's had any problems at Dalton and it seems like in this respect at least, Kurt may have misjudged the situation.  
  
"So, what did you want to know?" Nick suddenly asks, breaking into Kurt's thoughts, and Kurt looks at him blankly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Nick grins. "Well, you were asking me if I talk to Sebastian. I figured there's something you want to know."  
  
"Oh," Kurt says, flushing a little, and he's wondering if he should ask the question but after the realization he's just come to about Sebastian, he's even more curious now. “I was just wondering if he’s told you why he changed his mind about having a canary.”

“Oh,” Nick says, smiling. “No, he hasn’t. You mean he hasn’t told you?” 

Kurt shakes his head and Nick shrugs.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Kurt,” Nick says. “Sebastian’s always been a bit of a mystery. I mean no one even knows why he decided not to have a canary in the first place. I’m not saying he’s secretive but he doesn’t always explain his actions, you know. But, look, personally I like him, and I thought he was a great mentor so don’t worry about him, okay Kurt?”

Kurt nods just as the teacher walks in and the class settles. He’s grateful to Nick for the reassurance but there’s still a part of his mind that can’t let the question go. It niggles at him and he knows he won’t be comfortable until he knows the answer, but unless he asks Sebastian outright, which he doesn’t want to do, Kurt figures that he’s not going to get it.

That afternoon, after classes finish for the day, Kurt collects his laptop from his dorm and heads to Sebastian’s room. There’s still a certain level of anger (and embarrassment, he thinks) that he has to do this detention thing and a part of him really just wants to say ‘screw it’ and take off. But the truth is, he knows, that if he does that then Sebastian will have every right to discard him and then Kurt could end up with someone far worse, because the other truth is that Nick is right, Sebastian hasn’t really been all that bad. So, Kurt figures he may as well take it on the chin and cope with it the best that he can.

He sets himself up in one of the chairs, which is a little awkward, but Sebastian’s desk is covered with stuff and he’s probably going to want to use it himself. About a half an hour later Sebastian walks in and laughs when he sees Kurt stuffed into the chair with a laptop, a notebook, and a couple of textbooks.

He goes to the desk and clears a large space on it and then turns to Kurt.

“You can use the desk,” he says. “I prefer the bed anyway.”

The suggestive note is back in Sebastian’s voice and Kurt rolls his eyes; but he does move to the desk, rather gratefully, and they study in silence for a while.

Then there’s a knock on the door. Sebastian calls out and Kurt looks up as the door opens and Brad comes into the room, holding his laptop. Kurt flushes a little when Brad’s eyes sweep over him with a speculative light in them, and he turns back to his chemistry textbook quickly.

“What’s up, Brad?” Sebastian asks, and Brad goes over to the bed.

“You have got to see this,” Brad says in a low voice. “Marcus sent me the link and it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.”

Then there’s the tinny sound of soft moans and exaggerated groans in the room and Kurt tries to sink a little lower into his chair, and the tips of his ears are burning red, because he just knows that they are watching porn.

“Just look at that,” he hears Brad say in a breathless voice. “How do they even _do_ that?”

Sebastian laughs, but Kurt thinks it sounds different from his usual laugh, less free and more tense. “You just need a flexible partner,” he says.

By this time Kurt’s actually feeling a little sick, and he closes his eyes for a moment trying to calm down.

“Hang on a minute,” he hears Sebastian say in a quiet voice, and suddenly Sebastian is leaning over Kurt, one hand on his shoulder, and Kurt’s eyes fly open.

“Go,” Sebastian whispers. “I’ll trust you to finish today’s detention in your own room.”

Kurt shoots him a grateful look, and quickly packs up his stuff. As he’s heading out the door he hears Brad laugh.

“Spoilsport,” he says in a low, amused voice, and Kurt quickly closes the door.

He walks to his dorm room slowly. He can’t help feeling extremely thankful (and sort of a little surprised) that Sebastian must have noticed Kurt’s discomfort and let him leave, but he’s also struck by a strange feeling of disappointment when he thinks of Brad and Sebastian still in Sebastian’s room, watching that video together. Of course, it eventually occurs to him, they might be doing more than just watching the video, and his heart sinks a little as he realizes that might be the reason Sebastion asked him to leave - and that’s disturbing enough to make Kurt shake his head and force the thought from his mind.

Kurt hesitates when he gets to his room, a little worried about what might be going on inside, and he’s just about to raise his hand to knock on the door when he remembers, with a sigh of relief, that Blaine is at soccer practice.

The room is empty anyway, except for Pavarotti who chirps a greeting when Kurt sits down at his desk. Kurt smiles at the bird and then, making a snap decision, opens the cage and Pavarotti flutters out and immediately perches on Kurt’s head.

“Hey no,” Kurt laughs. “Not the hair. Come on.” 

He holds up his hand and Pavarotti obediently hops onto his finger. Kurt places him on the desk and laughs when Pavarotti immediately starts attacking a pencil.

He’s just finished his homework when Mercedes calls and Kurt sprawls on his bed as they chat.

“I told Rachel about you joining the Warblers,” Mercedes says, laughing. “Oh Kurt, she was actually speechless for almost a minute and then she started trying to give me a list of ‘acceptable topics of conversation’ for when I talk to you. She even tried to get Tina and I to sign it until I told her that if she didn’t can it I wouldn’t let her come with us the next time we visit you.”

Kurt laughs but there’s a fondness to it when he thinks of Rachel that he’d never thought he would ever have.

“Tell her I miss her,” he says. “It’s kind of true, and she’ll be so shocked that it’ll shut her up for a while.”

“What are you up to this weekend anyway?” Mercedes asks. “Are your Dad and Carole going to visit?”

“Yeah, and Finn too, I think,” Kurt says, and then he falls silent and his heart sinks as he remembers Sebastian’s detention. His family are supposed to visit him on Sunday, they had planned to go into Columbus for lunch, and now Kurt’s got this detention on the weekend.

“Kurt?” 

“Oh, yeah… um Mercedes, I’m sorry I’ve got to go. It’s dinnertime.”

“Oh, okay,” Mercedes says. “Well, I guess I won’t see you until Sectionals weekend but I’ll call again soon. Have fun in the meantime.”

They hang up and Kurt stares at the wall for a moment in complete confusion. How on earth is he going to explain this detention to his Dad? Or should he just ignore the detention and go anyway?

With a tense knot in his stomach that he tries to ignore, Kurt tidies his desk, pops Pavarotti back in his cage, and then slowly walks to the dining room.

He takes a seat next to Jeff, a little relieved to see that Blaine’s obviously still at soccer practice.

“How’d your detention go?” Jeff asks.

“Oh, Sebastian let me do it in our room today,” Kurt says. “Where were you anyway?”

“Got bored and lonely,” Jeff laughs. “So I met a friend for coffee. Do you have to go back to Sebastian’s room after dinner?”

“Not today,” Kurt says.

“Let’s watch a movie then,” Jeff says in a low voice with a wink. “Sebastian will never know.”

Kurt gives him a weak smile and then looks up as Sebastian walks in and sits down beside David. All through dinner, even whilst he’s talking to Jeff, Kurt can’t help thinking about the problem of the weekend. He keeps sneaking little looks at Sebastian, wondering just how badly he’d react if Kurt skipped out on Sunday, and with the tight feeling in Kurt’s chest he has to admit that he doesn’t want to do it. He feels like he and Sebastian have finally reached a certain level of understanding and Kurt just doesn’t want to risk that.

It’s not until he’s finished watching the movie with Jeff and gone to bed that Kurt finally decides what to do. Sebastian really hasn’t been that bad, Kurt thinks to himself, so maybe if he just tells Sebastian about the problem they can come to some sort of arrangement where Kurt can still meet up with his family.

The next morning as he walks to Sebastian’s room, Kurt’s a little nervous but also determined. There’s no harm in asking, he thinks, and he’d much rather do that than try to explain to his Dad why another Dalton student has been able to give him a detention.

The odd thing is that when Sebastian opens his door and Kurt sees his crooked tie, the nerves in his stomach ease a little, and he can’t stop himself from smiling slightly. After handing Sebastian his coffee, Kurt still hovers anxiously in the middle of the room though, and eventually Sebastian frowns.

“What’s up, sweetheart?”

Kurt tells him and Sebastian sips from his coffee looking thoughtful.

“Well,” Sebastian finally says, “maybe we could sort something out. But you’re going to have to make it worth my while.”

Something twists in Kurt’s stomach, a mixture of anxiety and anger he thinks, and he takes a deep breath.

“And what do you mean by that?” he asks flatly, and Sebastian’s brow rises.

“Calm down, sweetheart,” he says, smirking. “I only want a little bit of information.”

“Uh huh,” Kurt responds, cautiously. “Like what?”

“I’d like to know why you had to transfer from your old school.”

Kurt eyes Sebastian suspiciously but he can’t read anything in his face that might give him a clue as to why he’s asking.

“Why do you want to know about that?” Kurt finally asks, and when Sebastian sits down at his desk, Kurt takes his usual chair.

“Look, I’m your mentor,” Sebastian says. “And I want to know if there’s anything I should be concerned about. We’re competing against McKinley at Sectionals, they’re bound to have supporters there and I need to know if there’s a chance of anything difficult happening for you.”

Kurt finds himself strangely... touched... by that, especially when he remembers what Nick had told him the day before. He’s still reluctant to talk about what happened but at the same time he’s out of that situation now, and the thought of talking about it isn’t as hard to imagine as it once was. And, he thinks, it could be a useful opportunity to get some answers of his own.

“The McKinley glee club doesn’t have any supporters,” he says flatly. “But I’ll consider an exchange of information.”

Sebastian blinks and then laughs. “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know why you changed your mind about claiming a canary.” Kurt says quickly, and rather breathlessly, before he can chicken out.

For a moment Kurt’s certain that Sebastian almost looks a little embarrassed but then he gives Kurt a strange smile.

“Are you sure you want me to tell you that?” he asks suggestively, and Kurt’s heart gives a sudden, sickening leap in his chest. He valiantly ignores it.

“Yes,” he says, glaring at Sebastian.

Sebastian’s silent for a moment, and Kurt can’t tell from his blank expression what he might be thinking, but finally he nods.

“Okay,” he says. “You go first.”

Kurt takes a deep breath and then twists his hands in his lap.

“So, there’s this Neanderthal at McKinley who’s on the football team,” he begins, his gaze focused on the window. “And he’s never liked me, or anyone on the glee club for that matter, and he’s always been a homophobe. Anyway, a few weeks ago he really started hassling me a lot. You know, pushing me into walls, shoving me into lockers and calling me names, that sort of thing. But it was getting worse all the time and I’d heard about Dalton so I… um…” he falters a little, flushing, because he’s not sure if Sebastian’s heard the spying story or not.

“Yeah, I wasn’t in that performance,” Sebastian says quietly, “but I heard about it. Go on.”

“So, I met Blaine, with Wes and David, and I ended up telling Blaine about what was happening and he gave me some advice,” he pauses when he hears Sebastian give a little huff, and he’s not sure what to think of that so he ignores it and after a moment he continues, “The next time Ka… the guy hassled me, I chased after him into the locker room and confronted him. We were right up in each other’s faces and then suddenly he… um… he grabbed me and kissed me.”

The words spill out in a breathless rush and Kurt tries to keep his voice free of the disgust and humiliation that he still feels.

“I pushed him away and he ran off,” Kurt continues quickly, because his heart rate is speeding up and he thinks he maybe underestimated things when he thought this wouldn’t be so difficult. He takes a long sip of his coffee, grateful when Sebastian remains silent.

“Blaine came to McKinley the next day and we tried to talk to the guy but it didn’t work out very well. After that, he kept hassling me but it was different, and so, so creepy and then he said he’d kill me if I told anyone what happened. I don’t know if I believed that but he was acting so all over the place by then-“

“Didn’t anyone notice?” Sebastian suddenly interrupts, and Kurt blinks. “Teachers? Your friends?”

Kurt thinks he hears a touch of anger in Sebastian’s voice and he finally looks at him, but once again, Sebastian’s expression is unreadable.

“Yeah, they did eventually,” he says quietly, and he really doesn’t want to focus on how _alone_ he felt at that time, so he forces himself to get on with the story.

“They tried to protect me and there was a fight where a couple of them got injured. Eventually my Dad found out about it all, and Coach Sylvester expelled Ka… the guy. But then the school board overturned it and so I came here.”

“Why didn’t you just expose him?” Sebastian asks, his voice full of curiosity. “You could have just outed him.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I couldn’t do that,” he says firmly. “Aside from the fact that I don’t know whether anyone would have believed me, I just couldn’t do that to anyone. Everyone should have the chance to come to terms with this themselves, even an idiot like him, and maybe now he finally will.”

“Yeah, and maybe he won’t,” Sebastian says. “And maybe now he takes it out on some other gay kid.”

Anger flashes through Kurt and he lifts his head from his contemplation of his twisting hands and glares at Sebastian.

“Oh, so you think I should have stayed there and let him harass me instead of someone else?”

“Hey no,” Sebastian says quickly, and suddenly he’s across the room and kneeling in front of Kurt. “I’m not saying that. You needed to get out of there, sweetheart. I just don’t know if silence is the right answer in these sorts of cases.”

Kurt swallows heavily, and it’s a very odd feeling to have Sebastian so close, kneeling in front of him and looking at him so earnestly. He shifts in his chair uneasily and Sebastian smiles.

“So, what was his name?” he asks softly, and Kurt blinks and then shakes his head.

“I don’t want to tell you that,” he says, and Sebastian nods as if he was expecting it, and then gets up and goes back to his own chair. Kurt lets out a little sigh of relief.

They both drink their coffee in silence for a moment and Kurt starts to feel like he’s regaining his calm so he finally looks over at Sebastian.

“Your turn,” he says, and Sebastian frowns slightly.

“Right,” he replies. “Well, if I hadn’t claimed you there was a good chance you would have ended up with Brad. Now, don’t get me wrong, Brad’s a fun guy but when he was an underclassman he always chose not to be a canary, and sometimes he just doesn’t understand that not everyone feels the same way about sex that he does. And you looked like one of those that wouldn’t appreciate Brad’s… enthusiasm.”

By the time that Sebastian’s finished, Kurt knows that his face is burning with the light of a thousand suns, and Sebastian’s smirking at him again.

“I see,” Kurt finally manages to say in a slightly strangled voice. “And should I thank you for _protecting_ me from that?”

Sebastian shrugs. “If you like,” he says nonchalantly, “but it’s really not necessary.”

Kurt presses his lips together tightly, firmly suppressing the need to snap at Sebastian because for one thing (and god he _hates_ to admit it) if Sebastian’s telling the truth he really has done Kurt a favour because, after seeing Brad the previous day, Kurt _knows_ that he would not have coped very well with having Brad as his mentor. And the other thing is that he really wants to be able to meet up with his family on the weekend, so Kurt takes a deep breath and clears his head.

“So, um, the weekend?” he asks, trying not to sound too tentative.

Sebastian gives him another smirk. “Yeah, it’s no problem,” he says. “You can have Sunday off, but it means I’ll tack on another day on the end. So your detention will end on Wednesday instead of Tuesday.”

Kurt frowns a little but he quickly agrees, because he’s getting what he wants and the other good thing, he realizes, is that detention on Wednesday instead of Sunday will mean that he actually has to spend less time with Sebastian.

So, all in all, it’s a good start to the day, he decides, as he fixes Sebastian's tie and then follows him to breakfast.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Friday afternoon and Warblers practice rolls around Kurt thinks it’s probably, aside from Sunday with his family, going to be the highlight of his week.

He’d spent the previous afternoon and evening locked away in Sebastian’s empty room (he had no idea where Sebastian had gone), doing his homework and then reading his assigned book for English. And he never thought he’d be so happy that _War and Peace_ was such a very long book but it had certainly helped to get through the time.

Unfortunately he only has more of the same to look forward to tonight; and yes, Kurt had been an only child but he hasn’t spent Friday night alone since he could remember and he finds himself resenting the idea now. Of course, he’s fairly certain that Sebastian will be gone again and that really should be a relief but instead it only has the effect of making Kurt feel even more resentful.

But, he remembers during Warblers practice, at least he does have Pavarotti and so between practice and his detention Kurt makes a quick detour to his dorm room and collects his birdcage.

He gets to Sebastian’s room and Sebastian, thankfully, isn’t back yet so Kurt sits the cage on the desk and opens the cage door. Pavarotti flutters out and immediately lands on Kurt’s head, and Kurt sighs, reaches up his hand, and then laughs when Pavarotti obediently hops onto his finger.

Kurt puts Pavarotti on the desk and gives the bird its favourite pencil, which is now fairly mangled, and quickly opens his chemistry notebook. He can’t help sighing again though, because he’s just so bored.

About ten minutes later the door opens and Sebastian walks in. Pavarotti lets out a strange little chirp and before Kurt can grab him, he launches himself into the air and flies straight at Sebastian’s face. A second later Pavarotti is perched on Sebastian’s head, and Kurt would swear the bird looks pleased with himself, if he wasn’t so busy laughing at the shocked expression on Sebastian’s face.

“It’s okay,” he finally manages to splutter. “I’ve given up on trying to train him to peck you to death.”

Sebastian smiles then and his green eyes are suddenly sparkling. “Little bitch,” he smirks, “and I don’t mean the bird.”

He winks at Kurt and laughs, and when Kurt feels the disturbing flush rising in his cheeks he’s very thankful that Sebastian has wandered over to his bed to dump his bag on it and is no longer looking at Kurt.

Sebastian opens his closet and starts pulling some clothes out of it, and Kurt watches him out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he’s forgotten that Pavarotti is sitting on his head. He’s not going to remind him though because the sight of Sebastian wandering around with a bright yellow bird nestled in his impeccably styled hair is just too good to give up.

Finally Sebastian goes into the bathroom, closing the door, and Kurt can’t help sniggering to himself when a few moments later the door opens again and Sebastian holds out his hand with Pavarotti perched on his finger.

“Take your damned bird, sweetheart, before he ends up in the shower with me,” he says, his voice muffled around the door, and Kurt quickly stands up and takes Pavarotti because he’s got a very strong feeling that Sebastian is mostly unclothed on the other side of that door and he really doesn’t want him wandering back out into the room if Kurt takes too long.

Twenty minutes later the bathroom door opens and Sebastian comes out. Kurt can’t stop himself from looking up and his eyes widen when he sees Sebastian in black jeans and a dark green long-sleeved top that seems to hug his body. And, Kurt has to begrudgingly admit, it’s an impressive body. Sebastian’s tall and lean but his muscles are well defined and Kurt figures it’s from playing lacrosse. Kurt’s eyes are drawn to the v-neck of Sebastian’s top and linger on the smooth, tanned skin he can see there, and suddenly it feels a little too hot in the room. Probably the steam from the bathroom, Kurt tells himself fiercely, finally forcing himself to look away.

It’s too late though, because Kurt can tell that Sebastian’s smirking at him again. He stubbornly ignores it and eventually Sebastian goes over to the bed and starts to pull on a pair of boots.

“I’ll be back in time for curfew,” he says, “but it will be late. So, if you get tired and want to go to bed you don’t have to hang around.”

Kurt thinks about ignoring him but he has to admit to himself that Sebastian’s being fairly considerate, and also trusting that Kurt will honor his detention, so he turns around and nods.

“Thanks,” he says, trying to sound like he means it as he watches Sebastian pull on a jacket.

“Are you going to Columbus?” he asks, and then almost kicks himself. Yes, he’d been wondering exactly where Sebastian was going but he’d never in a million years actually meant to ask. Or so he’d thought.

Sebastian’s watching him with a raised eyebrow though, so Kurt lifts his chin a little and squarely meets Sebastian’s eyes, even though he knows he’s flushing.

“Yep,” Sebastian finally smirks. “I have a hot date.”

“So, you have a boyfriend?” And now Kurt’s thinking he really needs to tape his own mouth shut because he’s obviously lost his ability to control it.

“What makes you think that?” Sebastian says, laughing, but he’s holding Kurt’s gaze and there’s something challenging in his eyes that Kurt’s not quite sure of. “I haven’t even met tonight’s hot date yet.”

And now Kurt’s certain that he’s being deliberately provoked but it doesn’t stop him from rolling his eyes and Sebastian suddenly sneers at him.

“Don’t approve, sweetheart? I assure you I’m gonna have a fantastic night but maybe that’s not _romantic_ enough for you.”

Kurt shakes his head and he knows that he should probably be backing off – it’s Sebastian’s life after all – but there’s a sting of disappointment in his chest that’s surprising him and it’s making him reckless as well, and aside from that (and again surprising him) he’s intensely curious.

“I just… so that’s…” he falters, and then takes a deep breath. “I mean, is that all you do? Don’t you ever feel _anything_ with _anyone_?”

He hears Sebastian’s slight gasp and then there’s silence for a few moments, and Kurt’s now pretty much regretting that he’d even started this conversation. After all, he and Sebastian had seemed to be getting along, in a fashion, and so perhaps Kurt should have just kept his mouth shut, particularly when the truth is that it’s not really any of his business anyway.

“Weren’t you listening, sweetheart?” Sebastian finally responds in a low sarcastic voice and at the same time he’s moving towards the door. “Of course, I feel something. Orgasms feel fucking fabulous, you know. Maybe you should try one sometime.”

He’s already gone before Kurt’s even sure that he heard correctly but once he _is_ sure, he buries his flaming face in his hands, anger and humiliation surging in his chest.

Half an hour before curfew, Sebastian’s still not back and Kurt wanders back to his own room, ready to lose himself in sleep. All through the evening he’s had the strange feeling that he’s made some sort of terrible social gaffe and it’s made it hard to concentrate on anything else. He’s managed to finish his homework but he’s hardly put a dent in _War and Peace_ because he’s been constantly repeating the entire unfortunate conversation in his head.

He realizes now that he’d heard hurt underneath the anger in Sebastian’s low voice and it makes him remember the way Sebastian had accused Kurt of being judgemental when they’d been insulting each other the other day, and now he’s really wondering if maybe Sebastian was right. It’s a galling thought to have because Kurt’s always been fairly proud of his sense of etiquette and he likes to think that he’s considerate of others. But perhaps he’s not, Kurt thinks, because he has to admit that whilst, yes, he’s found Sebastian irritating, at the same time Sebastian hasn’t really done anything to make Kurt think ill of him – so has Kurt really got any right to judge Sebastian in such a disapproving way?

He’s lying in bed, struggling to go to sleep, when he makes the regrettable discovery that he wants to apologize to Sebastian. It’s annoying but Kurt doesn’t think he can really live with himself if he doesn’t do it because he’s now completely positive that he was out of line and that he kind of deserved Sebastian’s embarrassing put-down. And it _was_ embarrassing, even now his face still heats at the memory, but as he really doesn’t want to think about orgasms and Sebastian at the same time, Kurt forces it from his mind as quickly as possible.

Kurt finally manages to sleep but he wakes early, and when he drags himself to breakfast and sees Sebastian sitting at the other end of the table, tension grips his stomach and he feels slightly sick. Still, he follows Sebastian to his room with determination and when they’re finally alone he takes a deep breath.

“I owe you an apology,” he says in a tight voice, and Sebastian looks at him for the first time that morning, and Kurt thinks there’s surprise in his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said the things that I said,” Kurt elaborates, and he really wishes his heart would stop beating so hard. “It was none of my business and I… well, I’m sorry.”

Sebastian gazes at Kurt for a moment in silence and then he smiles and for some reason Kurt feels like sighing with relief.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Sebastian says. “I was a little worried that I’d get back and I’d find Pavarotti in here waiting to ambush me.”

He winks at Kurt and Kurt finds himself laughing and this time he lets the relief out.

“Look,” Sebastian continues, a serious light coming into his eyes, “if someone doesn’t want to be…um… celibate when they’re not in a relationship they shouldn’t have to apologize for that, Kurt. We don’t all want the same thing.”

Kurt’s silent for a moment, frowning slightly, because whilst he can see the point in what Sebastian is saying, something about the argument they’d had the day before doesn’t quite fit with it. Finally his brow clears and he looks up at Sebastian.

“That’s true,” he agrees in a soft voice. “But to be fair, you shouldn’t get to make fun of someone if they do want a more romantic relationship.”

Sebastian stares at him, something like consternation in his eyes, and then the look is suddenly gone, and he nods.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says, and Kurt hopes that he keeps the surprise out of his face. “I didn’t mean to make fun of you, and I’m sorry about that. How about we just agree that we were both out of line?”

Kurt nods slowly, still fairly stunned at Sebastian’s quick and fair-minded apology and now he’s wondering even more if he’s allowed his dislike and disapproval of the Dalton tradition to influence the way he’s reacted to Sebastian.

“Okay,” he finally says, and Sebastian nods, and Kurt sits down in his usual chair and opens his book, still feeling strangely off-balance.

Sebastian’s rummaging around in his closet and Kurt ignores his book in favour of surreptitiously watching him, trying to figure out why he feels so unsettled about the conversation they’ve just had. He can’t work it out though, and eventually Sebastian finishes whatever he’s doing and stands up, slinging a bag over his shoulder, and he smiles at Kurt.

“Well,” he says, “I have a lacrosse game in about half an hour and if you’d like a break from this room for a while, feel free to come and watch.” He pauses for a moment and he looks amused and Kurt’s pretty sure it’s because Kurt’s staring at him with a puzzled frown.

“Nick will be there too,” Sebastian points out and suddenly Kurt’s feeling a lot less confused about Sebastian suggesting that he watch his game and a lot more gratitude that he’s finally going to get to spend some time with one of his friends, and he can’t stop himself from grinning at Sebastian.

“Thanks,” he breathes, “that would be great.”

Sebastian winks again and then quickly leaves the room, whilst Kurt tries to ignore the sudden, perplexing, swooping tension in his stomach.

Forty minutes later Kurt is sitting in the bleachers, beside Nick, staring with complete bewilderment at whatever is going on out on the field.

“This is bizarre,” he finally says, and Nick laughs. “I mean, I know I’m not that great with sports but do you understand this at all?”

“Not entirely,” Nick replies. “But you have to admit the uniforms are hot.”

Kurt shivers, and it’s not just from the chill in the air, because he has to admit that Nick is right. In fact he’s fairly certain that the uniforms are the only reason that the uncomfortable tension had come back in his stomach when he’d seen Sebastian wandering out onto the field earlier. Obviously, Kurt decides, it’s because he’s always had a bit of a thing for jocks, and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sebastian, in particular, looks amazing in that uniform.

“So, how are you getting on with Sebastian now?” Nick suddenly asks, and Kurt jumps in his seat, and tells himself that it’s completely idiotic to think that Nick was somehow reading his mind.

“Fine,” he says quickly, “I mean, we’re both still alive.”

He smiles when Nick laughs but he’s really hoping that Nick won’t ask for any further details because it’s become baffling enough just thinking about Sebastian let alone talking about him. Thankfully, there’s suddenly a lot of clapping and cheering and Kurt looks around, confused.

“What happened?”

“We scored, Kurt,” Nick grins, waving at a player that Kurt is fairly certain is Liam. “If you’re gonna watch the game you’re at least gonna have to _try_ to keep track.”

“Yeah sure,” Kurt mumbles, and then he waits a beat before asking, “so, which ones are Dalton again?”

Nick looks at him in disbelief and then laughs when Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, very funny.”

They watch the game in silence for a few minutes and Kurt still can’t comprehend why anyone would want to run around trying to catch a small ball in a small basket on the end of a long stick, so eventually he sighs and looks at Nick.

“So, how did you meet Liam anyway?” he asks, and he raises his eyebrow again when Nick actually blushes.

“Oh, well, it was because I was Sebastian’s canary actually. I used to bring his gear to practice and Liam was on the team so I… um… used to hang around a bit and eventually I got up the courage to ask him out. We’ve been together ever since.”

“So you had a crush on him?

“Um… yeah,” Nick says, his blush deepening, and when Kurt laughs he nudges Kurt’s side with his elbow. “You can’t tell me you’ve never had a crush on anyone, I bet.”

And now it’s Kurt’s turn to blush as he thinks back to Finn and Blaine.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “but both of mine were completely embarrassing and disastrous.”

“Come on then,” Nick grins. “Spill.”

“Well, let’s just say one was straight and the other one turned out to be involved with someone else.”

“Ouch,” Nick says, still grinning, and Kurt nods.

“Hmm,” he agrees, “at least the second one never knew that I had a crush on him.” _I hope_ , he adds silently, and then his heart lurches a little as he realizes what he’s just said. And it’s true, he thinks, whilst he still thinks that Blaine looks dreamy, he’s also certain that the crush he had on him is now gone – and he has to admit, it’s a relief.

“So, the straight one knew?” Nick asks. “How did that go?”

Kurt winces. “It wasn’t so great for a while,” he says, meeting Nick’s concerned eyes. “But now, he’s actually one of my best friends. In fact, he recently became my step brother.”

Nick stares at Kurt in amazement for a moment and then he lets out a sharp crack of laughter and Kurt huffs.

“It’s not _that_ funny,” he says, as Nick dissolves into giggles.

Whilst Nick continues to splutter, Kurt rolls his eyes and tries to watch the game but he frowns, puzzled, when he can’t find Sebastian on the field. Eventually he spots him sitting on the player’s benches, drinking from a water bottle, and his frown deepens when he realizes that the strange tension has come back to his stomach. It’s beginning to worry him so Kurt forces it from his mind and looks at Nick, who is now sitting silently.

“So, I hear you’re auditioning for a solo on Monday,” Kurt says. “What are you going to sing?”

Nick shakes his head. “I haven’t completely decided yet,” he says, and they fall into a discussion of song choices that doesn’t end until the game is over and they both stand to cheer Dalton’s victory.

They’re still talking as they slowly make their way back from the field but finally Kurt leaves Nick, with a sigh of regretful boredom, and heads back to Sebastian’s room.

He can hear the shower going as he settles into a chair with his book and forces himself to open it and he’s only managed to read a couple of pages when the bathroom door opens and Kurt looks up to see Sebastian walk into the room wearing only a pair of low-slung jeans.

And Kurt freezes, unable to look away as Sebastian goes over to his closet and pulls out a couple of tops. He also can’t stop his eyes from tracking the play of muscles in Sebastian’s back as he drags one of the shirts over his head (a dark red one, Kurt automatically notes) and when Sebastian finally turns, usual smirk in place, Kurt thinks it’s extremely odd that instead of blushing like he has previously, he’s fairly certain that all of the blood has drained from his face.

“Sorry,” Sebastian says, “I didn’t realize you were back yet.”

He’s still smirking and Kurt really wants to throw his book at his head but instead he just nods and drops his eyes back to the page. He’s not sure if he’s actually read it yet but he turns it anyway.

“What are you reading?” Sebastian asks as he sits on his bed and pulls on a pair of boots.

“For English,” Kurt says, holding up the book and Sebastian grimaces when he sees the title.

“Yeah, have fun with that one,” he says. “It certainly wasn’t my favourite.”

Kurt hums distantly and turns another page, even though he hasn’t actually read the previous one, and then he looks up again when Sebastian laughs.

“Okay,” Sebastian says, heading for the door. “I’ll be back before curfew. Be good, sweetheart.”

Then he’s gone, and Kurt throws the book on Sebastian’s bed, drags his laptop out of his bag, and decides to watch a movie instead.

Kurt lingers at dinner with Nick, Liam, Jeff and Blaine for as long as his conscience will allow and then he finally heads back to Sebastian’s room and opens his book with a frustrated sigh. He can only be thankful that he’s going to get a break from this detention the next day because he’s pretty sure if he didn’t, he’d probably go insane. At this point he’d actually probably welcome even Sebastian’s company.

He manages to read quite a few chapters before his eyes start to droop and the words start to dance on the page and eventually he decides that a short nap won’t hurt and he curls up in the chair, grateful for its high back and side-wings.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

Kurt’s eyes fly open at the sound of Sebastian’s laughing voice and he looks up, blinking with confusion, to find Sebastian leaning over him, hands on each arm of the chair, his green eyes sparkling with amusement in the dim lamplight.

Sebastian’s hair is tousled and he looks a little flushed, and when he starts to hum under his breath, Kurt frowns at him suspiciously.

“Are you _drunk_?” he asks, without thinking, and Sebastian blinks.

“No,” he says, “… yes… no… well, maybe a little tipsy. But not drunk.”

“Oh god,” Kurt mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “How late is it?”

“Still well before curfew,” Sebastian says, and there’s a defensive note in his voice that makes Kurt look at him again. When Sebastian sways slightly, Kurt realizes that Sebastian is still hovering over him and his stomach drops so suddenly that he almost feels sick.

Luckily, Sebastian suddenly stands and steps back, and Kurt lets out a sigh of relief. He retrieves his book from where it’s fallen on the floor and winces at the stiffness in his neck.

“You okay?” Sebastian asks, and Kurt looks up to see that Sebastian is now leaning against his desk, watching Kurt intently.

“Fine,” Kurt says shortly.

He starts to gather up his stuff but when Sebastian lets out a strange little huff of breath and a hiccup, Kurt looks up again.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asks, and Sebastian nods.

“Yep,” he says, and then he frowns. “I have to tell you something though.”

Kurt waits, but Sebastian just stands silently, still watching Kurt and eventually Kurt sighs in annoyance.

“Well?”

Sebastian blinks. “What?”

“What did you want to tell me?” Kurt asks, trying not to sound too impatient.

“Oh,” Sebastian says, and he straightens up against the desk and smiles. “You know, I wasn’t completely honest with you the other day. That’s all.”

“What?” Kurt says, frowning in confusion. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Oh, yes I am,” Sebastian laughs. “I knew what you really wanted to know when you asked me why I claimed you and I wasn’t completely honest with you.”

And just like that Kurt’s heart is thumping hard in his chest and it feels like he can’t get enough air into his lungs. It’s an odd mixture of apprehension and something else that he can’t find a name for but as he clutches the strap of his bag over his shoulder he’s relieved, and surprised, to find that at least it’s not sheer panic.

“What do you mean?” he manages to ask in a tight, strangled voice. “I was only curious because I’d been told you’d said you didn’t want a canary.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian says, in a soft, amused voice. “But you were really asking if I claimed you because I was interested in you and I deliberately avoided answering that specfi… sepfic… exact question. I wanna answer it now though.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, mentally tells his hands to stop trembling, and takes a couple of steps toward the door.

“You can tell me later,” he says, rather breathlessly. “I should go.”

Of course, it’s just too late that Kurt realizes that walking to the door has actually taken him closer to Sebastian, and Sebastian has already reached out and taken his arm when he finally notices. Sebastian’s grip isn’t tight, and Kurt’s sure he could pull away easily, but for some reason he just freezes instead, his eyes locked on Sebastian’s hand.

“Do you remember when Wes told you that if your mentor was attracted to you, he would express his interest?” Sebastian asks in a low voice, and Kurt nods, his mind strangely blank.

“Well, that’s what I’m doing now,” Sebastian continues, still in that low, soft voice.

The swooping, sickening tension is back in Kurt’s stomach but now there’s finally a bit of fear there as well, and he kind of wonders why it’s taken so long to turn up. Sebastian’s hand is still resting on Kurt’s arm but, to Kurt’s relief, he hasn’t made any other kind of move in the time that Kurt’s been frozen in place, so Kurt finally manages to clear his throat.

“I told you that I didn’t want…” he begins but he falls silent when Sebastian pulls his hand away.

“I know,” Sebastian says. “And don’t worry, I don’t kiss anyone until they want me to.”

Kurt’s heart thumps hard in his chest and he quickly reaches out and opens the door, now just wanting to escape as quickly as possible. For some reason he glances briefly at Sebastian (he’s staring at the floor with a strange smile on his face) and he even mumbles a quick ‘good night’.

Once outside in the hallway, staring at Sebastian’s closed door, Kurt’s heart finally settles down. All he can think is now he finally knows exactly why Sebastian claimed him, but whilst the tension in his stomach is still there, Kurt’s sort of surprised that there’s no disgust. He’d felt that disgust when Karofsky had expressed the same interest, but perhaps, Kurt decides as he heads for his dorm room, that’s because Karofsky’s interest had been warped and violent, whereas Sebastian had given Kurt that final reassurance that he wouldn’t try anything.

As he gets ready for bed Kurt finds that he’s thankful that he won’t have to see Sebastian the following day but he’s also wondering two things - the first is why didn’t he get angry, and the second is why didn’t he tell Sebastian that he’d _never_ want to be kissed by him.


	11. Chapter 11

Of course, by the next morning, Kurt is also wondering why Sebastian has told him in the first place. He's seen people more drunk than Sebastian appeared to be (he knows Puck after all) but he also knows that Sebastian wasn't completely sober either - so was it just the alcohol talking?

He also knows that Sebastian likes to provoke him but somehow it didn't feel like that was what was going on last night, and any other explanation just makes Kurt so uncomfortable and restless that it seriously interferes with his sleep.

Eventually he gives up and goes for an early breakfast in the nearly empty dining room, safe in the knowledge that it's highly unlikely that Sebastian will be there as well.

After that Kurt idles away the time before his family arrives wandering around Dalton's grounds trying not to think about the night before - or Sebastian. It doesn't go as well as he would have liked.

In fact, by the time he sees his father's car pulling up the long Dalton driveway, Kurt's stomach is a knotted mess of tension again and he has a nagging ache behind his eyes.

Thankfully, the moment that he finds himself in his dad's tight embrace Kurt's head clears for the first time that morning. He breathes in the distinct and warmly familiar scent of his father – a mixture of aftershave, fabric softener and the tire shop that just means home to Kurt – and it's suddenly like there's a solid foundation under his feet again.

"Hey kiddo," Burt murmurs in his ear. "Are you okay? You look pale."

"I'm fine," Kurt says as firmly as he can. "Just been waiting to see you."

His father ruffles his hair and Kurt rolls his eyes but he can't stop smiling.

"Me too," Burt says and Kurt gets a glimpse of his grin just before he finds himself engulfed in Finn's arms.

"Dude, I've missed you," Finn says. "And also those cookies you used to make."

Kurt laughs as he pulls away and hugs Carole. He has to admit he's missed Finn too and there's a momentary twinge of guilt that he hasn't actually talked to Finn since he came to Dalton. At the same time he remembers that moment in the study lounge when he'd wanted to call Finn, and as he sits down beside his stepbrother in the back seat he wonders about that instinct he'd had that Finn was the person he could confide in.

It's still there, he decides, and suddenly he's hoping that he'll find a moment to talk to Finn alone, because he feels like if he doesn't talk to someone, he'll burst. And he doesn't have Blaine anymore, Kurt thinks with a sinking heart, and somehow because of that he doesn't have Jeff either. So, that leaves Nick but Nick is a part of Dalton, caught up in the tradition just as they all are, and Kurt needs to talk to someone who's outside of the whole thing.

Not that he thinks he'll tell Finn about the Dalton tradition because he has a feeling that Finn would probably react in pretty much the same way that Burt would, but maybe he can talk to him about the problem of Sebastian.

Although he has no idea how to actually do that.

Fortunately the drive to Columbus is spent with catching up on the news of home and Kurt's suitably distracted. He hears about what's been going on at the tire shop and what's been going on at McKinley and the glee club with interest although, thankfully, Finn doesn't mention Karofsky at all.

"And how's it going with Rachel?" Kurt asks, as he and Finn follow Burt and Carole into a crowded restaurant.

"Oh, man," Finn says, rolling his eyes. "At the moment I'm just trying to keep her away from Santana."

Kurt blinks in confusion. "What?"

By this time they've taken their seats at the table and Finn flushes as he glances at their parents. Then he leans closer to Kurt.

"I don't know, it's like Santana's gone crazy," he whispers. "She keeps bringing up last year. You know, _last year,"_ he adds, eyebrows wriggling in a demented way that has Kurt fascinated until he realizes the significance behind Finn's intent look and his confusion finally clears. He quickly nods his understanding and lets out a little sigh of relief that Burt and Carole are there because he doesn't think he can handle another frank discussion of Finn's loss of virginity to Santana. He's only just managed to block out being told about it the first time.

"I think Rachel's beginning to suspect something," Finn continues.

"Maybe you should just tell her," Kurt responds quietly, picking up his menu. "Before she finds out on her own."

"You think so?" Finn says, frowning thoughtfully. "I know she's going to kill me, even though it's nothing really to do with her. I mean she was with Jesse at the time. But at least if I tell her, I'll be ready for whatever she flings at me. I'll think about it. Thanks, dude."

Kurt ignores the 'dude' and smiles with what he hopes is reassurance because, well, it is Rachel after all, and she's never really ever been that rational when it comes to Finn.

Silence falls around the table as they all read their menus and then Finn looks up again, and… it happens. Just as Kurt's taking a sip of water.

"So, Kurt," he says, with a broad smile. "Mercedes told us you've got some sort of mentor at Dalton. Some guy called Sebastian, she said."

Kurt gasps, inhales a mouthful of water, and lapses into a loud coughing fit.

Finn blinks and pats Kurt carefully on the back, which doesn't actually help that much. Finally Kurt stops coughing but he's still wheezing slightly when his dad speaks.

"What's this about a mentor?"

Kurt's heart sinks because he'd kind of been hoping that the coughing fit might have been enough of a distraction from Finn's question.

"It's just something that happens at Dalton," he says, after a bit of throat clearing. "Upperclassmen help out the underclassmen. Sort of look after them."

"Oh," Burt says, looking thoughtful. "Maybe McKinley should try something like that. Might help with the bullying problem they've got."

Kurt hears the soft huff of disbelief that comes from Finn and it only adds to his sudden, horrifying need to laugh hysterically in his father's face as he imagines something like the Dalton tradition in place at McKinley. He bites his bottom lip and eyes his glass of water, wondering if it's worth risking another coughing fit.

"So, who's this Sebastian kid, then?" Burt asks, and Kurt gives Finn a quick, annoyed glance. It's not his fault, he supposes, but he still wants to kick him in the shin.

"Um… well, he's the Head boy, and he also leads the Warbler's Council. And I think he's the lacrosse captain as well."

As he reels off Sebastian's accomplishments Kurt can't help feeling that they don't really give a true indication of what Sebastian's like at all, but his dad looks suitably impressed so Kurt supposes that's something at least.

"Okay," Burt says, and then he frowns slightly. "I think I'd like to meet him sometime though."

Kurt gazes at his dad for a moment with frozen horror and finally manages to squeak out something that sounds like an agreement. Burt nods and goes back to reading his menu and Kurt takes another sip of water.

"So, do you have a crush on him?" Finn asks quietly, and Kurt splutters water all over the table and starts coughing again.

"Honey, are you okay?" Carole asks sympathetically, whilst Finn pats him on the back. Kurt nods, wheezes a little, and then gives Finn a swift kick under the table.

"Ow," Finn groans reproachfully, and Kurt glares at him.

"Sorry," he says to Finn, through gritted teeth, and definitely not meaning it.

Thankfully, the waiter turns up at that moment and takes their order and after he's gone the conversation turns to other topics, much to Kurt's relief.

He's still fuming over Finn's question though and when they finally leave the restaurant to stroll along the street he grabs Finn's arm and holds him back.

"Why would you ask me something like that?" Kurt practically hisses, and Finn frowns in confusion.

"Huh?"

"About Sebastian."

"Oh," Finn says, his brow clearing. "Well, I know I haven't always been… um… you know, supportive, I suppose… but we're brothers now, Kurt. And I know I talk to you about stuff with girls… or Rachel… and I figure we should talk about your stuff too. I mean, I want to."

Kurt gazes at Finn's earnest expression and he can't help feeling touched. And, it's also convenient, he decides, as he remembers his earlier thoughts about talking to Finn. Finally he gives Finn a smile, pats his arm gently, and they both start trailing along the street after Burt and Carole, who are now a fair way ahead.

Still, Kurt thinks, he probably should make one thing completely clear to Finn.

"Well, okay," he says quietly. "But Finn, please get this into your head. You and I are _never_ going to talk about this sort of thing _in front of our parents_. Understand?"

Finn smiles sheepishly and nods. They walk for a few moments in silence and then Finn nudges Kurt with his elbow and grins.

"So, do you have a crush on him? Because I kind of thought that you liked Blaine, but Mercedes said that this Sebastian guy is really kind of… um… hot."

"I don't have to have a crush on someone just because they're hot, Finn," Kurt says, frowning, but Finn just laughs.

"Yeah, but it helps right?"

Kurt thinks about that moment the day before when Sebastian had come out of the bathroom, and he can't stop himself from flushing.

"I suppose it does," he mumbles, "but I don't have a crush on him. And I don't have one on Blaine, either," he adds, with more firmness.

"So, what's the story then? Is this guy gay? Because Mercedes also said that he was calling you… um, darling… or something."

 _Sweetheart actually_ , Kurt thinks with a little sigh of frustration, but he doesn't think it's really the time to correct Finn, because Finn is now looking at him with a hint of something serious and concerned in his eyes, and it's also the perfect opportunity for Kurt to finally talk about the thing that's been bothering him all day.

Although he's probably going to have to have a little chat with Mercedes about over sharing at some point in the near future.

"Yeah, he's gay," Kurt says quietly, and then he takes a deep breath. "And he kind of told me that he likes me. Although he was a bit drunk at the time so-"

"Hey, that's great," Finn says enthusiastically, and then he eyes Kurt's doubtful expression carefully. "Isn't it?"

Kurt grimaces. "I don't know. The Dalton mentoring thing is really… er, awkward, Finn. And confusing. I mean, I'm confused-"

"Hang on, Kurt," Finn interrupts, and that serious look is back in his eyes. "If you don't like the guy, that's it. Just tell him that you're not interested."

If only it were that simple, Kurt thinks. Sebastian's given him the impression that he won't try to take things any further without Kurt returning his interest (and for some reason Kurt believes him) but he just can't figure out why Sebastian even told him in the first place. He sighs softly and Finn pats his shoulder sympathetically, which kind of surprises Kurt, considering that not so long ago Kurt had put Finn in the same sort of awkward situation. Best not to think of that though.

"What's wrong with him anyway?" Finn eventually asks, with heavy curiosity in his voice. "I mean, he's good-looking and it sounds like he's smart and he plays sport, even if that lacrosse game is really weird. He sounds great…um… I mean if you're into dudes, which you know I'm not, I'm just sayin'…" He lapses into confused silence, flushing hotly, and Kurt only just manages not to laugh at him.

And then he frowns as he thinks about what Finn's just said about Sebastian, and the truth is, Kurt has to admit, that before he'd come to Dalton if someone like Sebastian had told him that they liked him, Kurt probably would have been very pleased about that. And if the guy had asked for a date, Kurt would definitely have said yes.

It's a sobering thought because it shows just how much the Dalton tradition has confused him, but Kurt comforts himself with the thought that after one date with Sebastian he probably would have realized how irritating he was, and that would have been it. Probably.

He looks up and Finn's watching him intently, waiting for an answer, and so Kurt falls back on the one he usually uses and ignores the fact that it's starting to sound a little weak.

"He's very annoying."

Finn looks confused for a moment and then he grins. "But you like annoying," he says, and Kurt freezes and gives Finn an exasperated look.

"I do not."

"You do," Finn argues. "Dude, think about it. All of your friends are annoying. Everyone in New Directions is kind of crazy but you like all of them. Even Rachel."

Kurt's still frozen and after a moment he realizes he's gaping as well, so he snaps his mouth shut. It's a shocking thing but he has to admit that Finn might just be right. Kurt doesn't usually like bland, boring people and well, none of his friends could be called that… and he wouldn't call Sebastian bland or boring either.

"So, why aren't you giving this guy a chance?" Finn asks.

Kurt frowns again, once more trapped by his reluctance to talk about the whole Dalton tradition thing. It's frustrating, but unfortunately confiding in Finn actually seems to have made him even more confused and when he realizes that he's struggling to come up with an answer to Finn's question his stomach starts churning in a really sickening way.

Then Finn nudges Kurt with his elbow. "You know what I used to do when I was deciding if I wanted to go out with someone?"

Kurt shakes his head blankly.

"Well, I just used to imagine myself kissing them. You gotta have chemistry, right?"

 _Oh dear god_ , Kurt thinks, horrified at both Finn's simplistic method and at the way his own mind seems to want to grasp onto the idea. He forces it away quickly and glares at Finn.

"That's completely stupid," he says quickly, and instead of being offended the way that Kurt had thought he might be, Finn just laughs.

"Yeah, I know," he says. "I mean, look at what happened with Quinn. And Santana. But with Rachel… I mean, I think I hit the jackpot there."

Kurt smiles doubtfully but as he looks into Finn's eyes he can see how besotted he is with Rachel, so he keeps silent. And after all, so far Finn and Rachel's relationship has gone well.

"Hey!"

They both jump slightly and turn to find Burt and Carole standing close by, waving at them.

"You guys want coffee and cake or you just want to stand here gasbaggin' in the middle of the pavement?"

"Cake!" Finn says quickly.

"Well, come on then," Burst says, sounding exasperated, but he's grinning at them, so Kurt returns the smile and follows Finn, pushing all thoughts of their conversation out of his mind until he can get back to Dalton and really think about it.

A couple of hours later they drive back to Dalton and Kurt gets out of the car almost reluctantly. It's not that he _hates_ Dalton. In actual fact, aside from the whole tradition thing, Dalton _is_ a really good school and he's developing some good friends there. But a part of him just really wants to stay in the car and go _home_ … and it's the part of him that's already thinking about facing Sebastian in the morning.

He hugs his family, gives them a little wave and a tight smile and then starts to walk towards the main doors, but someone shouts his name and when he turns, Finn is running up to him.

"Hey, Kurt," he says again, only slightly breathless. "Look, I wanted to tell you, I meant what I said at the wedding, right. I mean, I've got your back, dude, and you need me for anything or if you want to talk, you call me. Okay? Anything."

Kurt looks into Finn's earnest eyes and swallows heavily. He's not going to cry, he tells himself, but it's a near thing, particularly when Finn pulls him into another tight hug. Before he can say anything, Finn's released him and is running back to the car.

Kurt waves to them again as the car pulls away and then goes inside.

It's as he's laying in bed that night that Kurt finally lets himself think about Finn's stupid method. He's not going to do it, he tells himself, but as he starts to get relaxed and sleepy it's harder to resist. And as he imagines standing close to Sebastian, he's already getting breathless, and once he adds Sebastian's firm hand resting on Kurt's jaw, tilting his face up, the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering in earnest. (And it really must have been a temporary aberration, Kurt thinks, that he'd liked someone as short as Blaine because he does seem to prefer it when they're taller.)

He has a little trouble with the actual kiss, because the truth is he's never kissed anyone properly and he's really only got what happened with Brittany or Karofsky to go by. And neither of those are particularly appealing. Of course, if it were really to happen, he muses sleepily, it probably wouldn't be that difficult because Sebastian's got enough kissing experience for both of them - and it's that thought that makes Kurt's eyes fly open.

"What the fuck am I doing?" he whispers, and Jeff, who's already asleep, shifts restlessly and mumbles something that sounds like a question.

"Sorry," Kurt says, but Jeff's already softly snoring again.

He pulls the covers up around his shoulders and settles down comfortably but his mind is now buzzing again. How could he be so stupid, he wonders, to forget what Sebastian's like and to then indulge himself with Finn's stupid ideas? After all, even the day before Sebastian's drunken admission he'd been out on one of his 'hot dates'. He may have said that he likes Kurt but that doesn't mean that he doesn't like other people as well. Kurt's obviously just one of many.

And he's _not_ going to admit that the thought is slightly disappointing but he _is_ going to kick Finn in the leg again the next time he sees him.

When Kurt wakes up in the morning he feels as if his head's cleared overnight, and that the madness of the night before is completely gone. He's still fairly tense though as he goes to the dining room to pick up their coffee because he's really got no idea how Sebastian's going to act and he can't help hoping that Sebastian will have forgotten the whole incident. He _was_ drunk after all.

By the time he's knocking on Sebastian's door Kurt's firmly reminding himself that he's got nothing to be embarrassed about. It was Sebastian who said stupid things when he was drunk so if anyone's going to be embarrassed, it can be him.

But when Sebastian opens the door, takes his coffee and smirks at Kurt, it really doesn't seem like he's very embarrassed at all. It's not until Kurt's sitting in his usual chair, trying not to look nervous, that Sebastian shows any signs of discomfort, as he stands in the middle of the room and runs his hand through his hair.

"Well, I guess it would be nice if we could get through a day without one of us apologizing to the other," he says, with another smirk. "But this isn't the day."

Kurt shifts uncomfortably in his chair and suddenly finds himself saying, "You don't have to. I know you were drunk."

Sebastian's quiet for a moment, and even though Kurt's stubbornly not looking at him, he can feel Sebastian's eyes upon him.

"I wasn't completely drunk," Sebastian says, and that does make Kurt look at him, one eyebrow raised, and Sebastian laughs. "I didn't even have a hangover yesterday. But I was a little… happy, and so I said some stuff to you that perhaps I shouldn't have."

And it's a strange sort of sick kind of disappointed relief that goes through Kurt at that moment, and it's confusing as hell. He's also pretty sure that he might have gone pale.

"Okay," he says quickly, before Sebastian can say anything else. "I understand. Let's just forget about it."

Sebastian sits down on the bed, takes a sip of his coffee, and there's a long, awkward silence.

"Yeah, this isn't going to work," Sebastian finally mutters, shaking his head slightly. He looks at Kurt with something that looks like worry in his eyes and Kurt's stomach drops.

"Look, Kurt, I know that the Dalton tradition can be very confusing," Sebastian says softly, "and so I've always felt that things should be clear between mentor and canary."

Sebastian pauses for a moment and Kurt clears his throat because he really thinks that he _has_ been very clear and so he says so.

"You have," Sebastian agrees. "But I hadn't. So, I don't regret what I said the other night, Kurt, and I wasn't lying and I wasn't saying it because I was drunk - although I know I jumped the gun, and that probably _was_ because of the alcohol."

By this time, Kurt can feel how hotly he's blushing, and his heart's sort of pounding and he really can't think of anything to say. Thankfully, Sebastian keeps talking.

"It doesn't have to mean anything, Kurt. I meant what I said, I won't do anything you don't want me to, but if you're really uncomfortable I could try to arrange a swap with another mentor."

Kurt's staring at Sebastian, dumb with disbelief, and when Sebastian laughs at him, he almost doesn't notice.

"But not with Brad, obviously."

And that snaps Kurt out of it and to his own utter shock, he finds himself laughing with Sebastian.

"So, are we okay?" Sebastian asks.

Kurt thinks for a minute (and Sebastian surprises him again by waiting patiently) but the truth is, he realizes, he has kind of got used to having Sebastian as his mentor. And it's also fairly easy because by now he's noticed how much work some of the other mentors give their canaries.

"Yeah, I think so," he says eventually, and when Sebastian immediately smirks and gets up to gather his stuff, Kurt realizes that there had been a tension in Sebastian that he hadn't noticed was there until it was gone. Sebastian had hidden it well.

"On to breakfast then," Sebastian says, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'm starving."

Kurt stands up, grabs his bag and heads for the door.

"Hey, aren't you forgetting something?"

Kurt turns, and Sebastian's standing there, one finger pointing at his slightly crooked tie. So Kurt rolls his eyes and steps closer, and if he's a little breathless and a little flushed as he straightens it, he stubbornly ignores it.


	12. Chapter 12

That afternoon there's an extra Warblers practice in preparation for the upcoming Sectionals weekend. It's about as frantic as Kurt's ever seen the Warblers, but it's nowhere near anything he's experienced with New Directions and he's still trying to get used to that. It's not that he's bored exactly but sometimes the extreme politeness of the Warblers gets to him and it makes him acknowledge again that Finn was right. It seems he really does like people who are… well, annoying.

And he supposes that he really has to include Sebastian in that list because when he catches the sardonic gleam in Sebastian's eye as Wes lovingly caresses his gavel, Kurt can't help answering it with a wry smile.

"You know, one day I'm going to explain to Wes the homoerotic subtext of his affection for that gavel just so I can see his face," Sebastian says as Kurt follows him back to Sebastian's dorm room, and Kurt doesn't know whether to blush or to laugh, and ends up doing both.

But when they get back to Sebastian's room, Kurt sits down at the desk and pulls out 'War and Peace' with a little sigh of boredom. He's already done his homework during a late study period so all he's got to look forward to is an evening spent reading… and it's a pretty depressing thought that he's still got two nights of this detention to go.

"I have to go to Columbus," Sebastian says, and when Kurt looks up Sebastian's looking at him with a thoughtful expression. "I need to pick up a new lacrosse cage before practice tomorrow. You can come with me if you like."

The offer seems casual but still Kurt hesitates for a moment and Sebastian smirks.

"No ulterior motive, sweetheart," he says. "I just thought you might like to get out of here for a while but if you're not interested…"

He's pulling on a coat as he speaks and Kurt quickly gets to his feet. He's made up his mind – he does want to get out for a bit and maybe it's time he tried to actually get to know Sebastian. After all, Kurt's resigned himself to the fact that he's going to be spending some of his time with Sebastian and he may as well make the best of it.

"No, I'd like to," he says. "I'll get my coat. Meet you in the parking lot?"

Sebastian nods and Kurt gathers up his stuff and heads for his dorm room, which he finds thankfully empty. He pulls on a coat and scarf because the late fall evenings are beginning to get really cold now and heads for the parking lot.

When he gets there and sees the car that Sebastian is leaning against Kurt stops dead in his tracks. He's known that many of the Dalton boys are wealthy but as his eyes linger on the smooth, sweeping lines of Sebastian's car, Kurt thinks that this is an example of wealth that he can only dream of.

"That's a Jaguar XF," he says flatly. "The Portfolio model."

He thinks that Sebastian looks surprised but the moment is swiftly gone.

"It is," Sebastian agrees. "Shall we go?"

Kurt gets himself moving again and gets into the car. It's all butter soft ivory leather, navy trim, and polished, gleaming wood inside and it smells luxuriously new. Kurt lets out a soft sigh that's pure wonder.

"You know your cars," Sebastian says, as he pulls out of the parking area and the car sounds like a purring dream to Kurt as he closes his eyes in delight.

"My dad owns a tire store," he explains. "But I've never seen one of these before. How did you get it?"

"I stole it," Sebastian says, and Kurt flushes when he follows it up with a laugh. He supposes the question _was_ stupid but he just can't imagine a school student having a car like this even though he's sitting in it.

"No, I bought it," Sebastian continues before Kurt can think of anything to say. "When I turned eighteen."

" _You_ bought it?" Kurt can't keep the surprise out of his voice, and suddenly he's very curious about Sebastian's parents.

"Yes," Sebastian says after a quick, smirking glance at Kurt. "My grandfather left me a lot of money when he died, and my father believes in learning how to manage one's own wealth, so I've been responsible for it since I was sixteen. My parents agreed that I deserved a little reward for my outstanding performance… so I got the car."

"Oh," Kurt says, and it's really all he can think of to say. Everything that Sebastian has just said is so foreign to him – he can't imagine having that amount of money (although he can imagine all the wonderful outfits he could buy if he did). Aside from that though, there had been a smug note in Sebastian's voice that's very off-putting so Kurt settles down in his seat and concentrates on looking out the window.

"You said your father owns a tire shop?" Sebastian asks after a while, and Kurt glances at him, his shoulders stiffening. But Sebastian's voice sounds normal and when he looks at Kurt, Kurt can only see curiosity in his eyes, so he relaxes.

"Yes," he says.

"He must work hard."

"Too hard," Kurt replies with a frown, and when Sebastian gives him another curious glance, he adds, "He had a heart attack a couple of months ago and he was in a coma for about a week."

"That's tough," Sebastian says, and he sounds sympathetic so Kurt finds himself telling Sebastian more about that time and how alone he'd felt.

"You don't have any other family?"

"Well, I didn't then," Kurt says. "My father proposed to Carole not long after he recovered and they got married the week before I came to Dalton. So, now I have Carole and my stepbrother, Finn."

"And that's good, right?" Sebastian asks, as he parks the car, and Kurt nods.

He follows Sebastian through the mall and into the sporting goods store and watches him talking to the salesclerk with a feeling of disbelief at how much he's just revealed to Sebastian about the time his dad was in hospital. It's more than he'd told anyone in New Directions, or even Blaine, and Kurt's still dumbfounded at himself when Sebastian finishes at the counter and turns back to Kurt.

"I'm starved," he says. "Shall we get something to eat? I don't know if I can make it back to Dalton without fainting from hunger."

Kurt agrees, because he's fairly hungry too, but he can't help feeling a little nervous about it as he follows Sebastian into a nearby café. It's small, and dimly lit, which makes him even more nervous because suddenly this evening is starting to feel a little like a date. Not that he's ever been on one, but he has an imagination, and it's suddenly starting to work overtime in the most startling way.

As they thread through the café to an empty table, Kurt hears someone call out Sebastian's name. Sebastian looks over his shoulder and smiles and waves at two boys sitting at another table, but he still leads Kurt to a table of two. Once Kurt has sat down, Sebastian taps him on the shoulder.

"I'll just go and say hello," he says, "I'll be back in a minute."

Kurt nods, and picks up his menu but he can't help sneaking a few glances over at the other table. Sebastian is laughing with the two other boys (but they look more college age than high school so Kurt wonders if he should really be calling them 'boys' in his head). Sebastian looks relaxed and natural as he laughs, and there's obviously a level of intimacy with the other two that Kurt hasn't seen him display with anyone else at Dalton, and it makes something stir in his stomach. He ignores it and concentrates on the menu instead.

"Sorry about that," Sebastian says, as he takes the seat opposite Kurt and picks up his own menu. "I haven't seen them much lately so I wanted to just say hello."

"They're not from Dalton, are they?" Kurt asks, even though he's fairly certain that they're not.

"No, they go to OSU here in Columbus," Sebastian answers. "I've known them for a couple of years. In fact, I introduced them to each other."

"So they're boyfriends?" Kurt gives them another curious look and notes that they're now holding hands on the table. He swallows down the little surge of envy he feels and looks away quickly.

"Exactly that."

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" And, oh _god_ , Kurt thinks, how on earth has he ended up asking that question – he must be out of his mind. Before he can say anything or even apologize, Sebastian looks up, his expression blank.

"I tried it once," Sebastian says flatly. "It didn't really go that well."

And even though Kurt's now practically vibrating with curiosity there's a note of finality to Sebastian's voice that can't be argued with, and Kurt's incredibly thankful when the waiter interrupts them to take their order.

There's a moment of awkward silence after the waiter leaves, and then Sebastian looks up and smirks at Kurt in a way that makes Kurt feel fairly uneasy.

"And what about you?" Sebastian asks. "Aside from your unfortunate mooning over Blaine Anderson, have you had any boyfriends?"

Kurt shakes his head, trying to fight against the blush that must be flooding his cheeks if the heat of his face is anything to go by.

"No," he says, and then adds resentfully, "and I wasn't _mooning_ over Blaine."

"Whatever," Sebastian shrugs, with an amused look that makes Kurt want to slap him, and he reminds himself firmly that he's not a violent person.

Although a big part of him does want to ask how exactly Sebastian found out about Blaine and Jeff. But he also doesn't want to admit that he now knows that Sebastian was right about them.

Fortunately at that moment their meals arrive and Kurt's distracted by how hungry he actually is. When he looks up again Sebastian is watching him with a strange smile that makes Kurt shift nervously in his seat.

"You know that Blaine would never have got the chance to claim you even if I hadn't, don't you? There were more guys than Brad who were willing to discard their canaries for you."

Kurt frowns and shrugs because that scene in the senior commons on his first day isn't one he really wants to remember or think about. It's also getting a little too close to reminding him of Sebastian's drunken admission of why he'd claimed Kurt that day, and Kurt's spent most of the evening really trying not to think about that.

"At least you didn't have to discard anyone, I suppose," Kurt says without thinking and then he looks up with a curious frown as the thought sinks in.

"Why was that?" he asks.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know you had Nick as your canary last year. What made you decide not to have one this year?"

Sebastian eyes him for a moment and then the smirk is back on his face.

"Don't go thinking it's because I hate the tradition so much that I couldn't stand to be a part of it, sweetheart," he says, and he laughs when Kurt rolls his eyes.

"The truth is I find the whole thing a total bore. I always have. I never bothered with being a canary, I really couldn't see the point."

And even though Sebastian's lack of concern about the 'Dalton tradition' is hardly unexpected Kurt can't stop the tight disappointment that settles in his stomach. He fiddles with the pasta on his plate for a moment and then looks up, not quite meeting Sebastian's eyes.

"So, why did you bother with mentoring Nick last year?"

"Curiosity," Sebastian shrugs. "Thought I'd see what it was like to be a mentor, but really, that was boring too."

"But Nick said that he thought you were a good mentor," Kurt says before he can stop himself, and Sebastian gives another nonchalant shrug but Kurt thinks he looks pleased as well.

"I believe if you're doing something, even if you think it's a bore, you should do it well. Besides, I'd made a commitment to Nick as his mentor and it would have been wrong of me to let him down like that by not taking it seriously or discarding him just because I was sick of it. And, it's the same with you, Kurt. I made the commitment to be your mentor and that's what I'll do."

Kurt looks down at his plate with a puzzled frown. There'd been such an honest open look on Sebastian's face as he'd spoken and Kurt can only think that Sebastian is full of confusing contradictions.

He's really not sure how to react to everything that Sebastian has said, but thankfully he doesn't have to.

"If you've finished we should probably get going," Sebastian says, looking at his watch. "We need to be back before curfew."

Kurt nods in agreement and after that there's a brief argument about the bill when Sebastian insists on paying, and once again Kurt has to ignore the feeling that this whole evening could be mistaken for a date.

The car park is almost empty when they get out of the parking elevator on their level and it's also very cold. Kurt's distracted by the way his breath fogs in front of him and when a dark figure suddenly steps out from behind a column in front of them he can't stop himself from gasping loudly.

Sebastian is silent but he takes a quick step forward that puts him slightly in front of Kurt, and Kurt can feel the tension coming from him.

And then he sees who the stranger is.

" _Coach Sylvester?_ "

He knows his voice is full of incredulous amazement and it makes Sebastian glance at him curiously.

"Porcelain," Coach Sylvester says, giving Kurt a brisk nod, and then she looks at Sebastian impassively. "Stand easy, Giraffe. Sweet Porcelain will take no harm from me. Unless, of course, he joins a rival cheerleading squad, but frankly he doesn't have the hips for it."

Kurt bristles. "My hips didn't stop us winning Nationals last year," he snaps, and the Coach actually gives him a tight grin.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you're back to your usual shrill self," she says.

"I'm not _shrill_ ," Kurt says, ignoring the soft snort of amusement that comes from Sebastian. "And what are you doing here anyway?"

"Just taking a peaceful evening stroll," Coach Sylvester says, but Kurt can't help thinking she looks a little shifty, but then, he has to admit, she often looks that way so it probably doesn't mean much.

"In a parking lot in Columbus?"

"There's nothing wrong with a good parking lot stroll, Porcelain," she says, flatly. "And if you weren't so obsessed with getting out of them as fast as possible in order to indulge your freakish addiction to gender-bending fashion then you would know that."

"Fine," Kurt says with a long-suffering sigh but behind it he's fairly astounded because he's now got a sneaking suspicion that she's actually turned up to check on him. Although how she found him here of all places he has no idea. "Well, it was very nice to see you. But we have a curfew, so enjoy your stroll."

"I shall," she responds gravely, but once Kurt and Sebastian have walked by her she calls his name, and Kurt looks over his shoulder curiously.

"It was good to see you too, Porcelain," she says. Her eyes flick over Sebastian for a moment and then she actually _winks_ at Kurt. "I'm glad to see you have someone watching your back."

Then she nods and quickly disappears into the stairwell before Kurt can even think of anything to say.

"Well," he eventually says, mostly to himself. "That was certainly surprising."

When he turns away from staring at the closed stairwell door, Sebastian is looking at him with an expression that is both curious and amused.

"Who _was_ that?"

"That's… really hard to explain actually."

"I kind of liked her."

"You would," Kurt mutters and Sebastian laughs and then looks at him with a raised brow. And a smirk.

"Porcelain?"

"Don't say anything, Giraffe."

"Hmmm I don't know… you _are_ rather pale. I think it's romantically appropriate, Sweet Porcelain."

"Shut. Up." Kurt says, but there's a light of mischief sparkling in Sebastian's eyes that makes Kurt's lips twitch as he struggles not to laugh. "And what would _you_ know about romance anyway?"

"Hey, I can do romance," Sebastian assures him earnestly. "Here, I'll prove it to you."

And in the middle of the parking lot Sebastian gets down on one knee and takes one of Kurt's hands and Kurt almost has a heart attack.

"Oh my god, what are you doing? _Get up_ ," he whispers furiously but Sebastian ignores him, sweeps out his other arm grandly and begins to recite in a dramatic voice:

"But soft, what light through yonder cabinet breaks?  
It is the china, and Kurt is the finest porcelain.  
Arise, fair teacup, and kill the envious spoon,  
Who is already sick and tarnished with grief  
That thou, her porcelain, art far more fair than she."

By the time he's finished Kurt is unable to contain his laughter any longer and not even the swift kiss that Sebastian presses to the back of his hand can stop him. It peals out through the car park and Sebastian looks absurdly pleased, until Kurt hears the ding of the parking lot elevator and yanks his hand out of Sebastian's hold.

"You are _completely insane_. Coach Sylvester must have infected you. Get up. Get up, you _lunatic_ , before someone sees you."

Sebastian just laughs and so Kurt takes off, heading for the car and leaving Sebastian on his knees in the middle of the car park.

"Well, I really expected a better reward than being completely abandoned," Sebastian says when he catches up with Kurt. "You have a cruel streak, sweetheart, that I really didn't expect."

"Huh," Kurt responds as he slips into the passenger seat. "You should think yourself lucky that Coach Sylvester didn't witness that. Then you'd know what cruelty is _really_ like."

"Does that mean you've learnt from the best?" Sebastian asks in a suggestive voice, and Kurt flushes as he realizes that they're kind of flirting.

He doesn't answer, and thankfully Sebastian doesn't seem to expect him to.

And again, Kurt thinks, as they drive back to Dalton, there's a feeling like this could be a date. He's not sure entirely where it's been coming from because up until the parking lot incident, Sebastian hasn't acted as if he's interested in Kurt at all. Which should be a relief, Kurt reminds himself, but even so, he really needs a distraction from his own thoughts.

"So, what about _your_ parents?" he finally asks, and when Sebastian gives him a puzzled look, Kurt adds, "I mean, what are they like?"

"They're pretty cool," Sebastian says. "My Dad's a State's Attorney in Connecticut so he's usually fairly busy and my Mom's an artist."

"You don't have any siblings?"

"No." Sebastian shakes his head. "My Mom's family is French so I have some cousins in Paris. That's it really, my Dad was an only child as well."

But Kurt's kind of stuck on the Paris thing. "So, you've been to France?" he asks, rather breathlessly he has to admit, and Sebastian gives him an amused look.

"Let me guess," he says. "You've always wanted to go to Paris. And yes, I usually go over every summer."

"Oh," Kurt sighs enviously and he doesn't even mind when Sebastian laughs.

By this time they've arrived back at Dalton and Kurt follows Sebastian into the school still in a sort of daze of imagining what it would possibly be like to go to France _every_ year. So he doesn't notice that Sebastian's walked him to the door of his dorm room until they're there.

When he does realize, Sebastian's standing close, and Kurt can't stop himself from thinking that if this were really a date then this would be the moment when they would kiss good night and suddenly Kurt is breathless at the idea.

He knows he's flushing, he can feel it, even as Sebastian's eyes drift over his face. Kurt's own eyes seem to fix on Sebastian's mouth in a completely embarrassing way and in that moment, Kurt knows that he wants it. His heart is thumping in his chest and all he can think about is how much he wants a real kiss in this moment, the real kiss that he's never had… and he wants it from Sebastian.

The shock of the discovery must show on his face because Sebastian frowns and steps even closer. Kurt, startled, moves backwards and ends up pressed against his dorm room door. Sebastian's so near now that Kurt can smell the light woody scent of the cologne he wears and he tells himself that it's not as intoxicating as his body seems to want to think it is.

Kurt swallows heavily and he's well aware that Sebastian is smirking now instead of frowning and he really has to get out of the hallway before he does something really stupid.

"Goodnight," he chokes out, and his grasping hand finally finds the doorknob and turns it.

But before he can disappear into his room Sebastian's hand lands on his shoulder. He leans towards Kurt, and Kurt holds his breath even though he sort of thinks he might faint from the way that his heart is beating so hard.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Sebastian says softly, pats Kurt's shoulder gently and then he's gone and Kurt can only blink and gasp in a deep breath as he watches Sebastian saunter along the corridor.

He gets himself into his dorm room and is grateful to find that it's still empty. There's moonlight flooding through the window so Kurt doesn't bother to turn on the light, instead he slumps into the chair next to Pavarotti's cage in a state of confusion.

"Oh my god, Pav, what is wrong with me?" he whispers, and Pavarotti tilts his head to one side. "It's like I've turned into some kind of… tramp."

Because it was only just a week ago that he'd still been hopelessly infatuated with Blaine, and now here he is, caught up in the idea of being kissed by Sebastian. And he has a terrible feeling that it's not going to go away because he's kind of discovered that he _likes_ Sebastian. And that's very confusing because Sebastian is a mass of contradictions. He's annoying and arrogant and slightly ruthless but he's also undeniably good-looking, funny and smart and Kurt remembers the way Sebastian had stepped protectively in front of him that night and it makes his heart beat harder again.

"It's just a stupid crush," he eventually tells Pavarotti firmly. "And judging by the way I got over Blaine so quickly there's a good chance it will be gone in the morning. If it isn't, I'll just have to make sure he doesn't figure it out."

Pavarotti gives him what sounds like a sympathetic chirp.


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as Sebastian opens his door the next morning and takes his coffee out of Kurt's hand, Kurt knows, with a sinking heart, that his stupid sudden crush has _not_ gone away overnight.

He swallows heavily as Sebastian waves him into the room, gingerly takes his usual seat and tries to take a sip of his own coffee. His hand is trembling though, so he's not very successful and as he glances at Sebastian he can only be relieved that Sebastian is rummaging through his schoolbag and hasn't noticed Kurt's behaviour.

Of course, it's too much to expect of the universe that Sebastian completely ignore him, so when Sebastian turns and aims his usual smirk at Kurt, Kurt manages to smile nervously.

"And how are you this morning?" Sebastian asks, and Kurt tries very hard to avoid meeting his eyes, because he can already feel his face starting to flush.

"I'm fine," he says to the wall behind Sebastian's left shoulder, and then he pulls 'War and Peace' out of his bag. "I'm behind in reading this though," he adds, rather desperately, "so I'm just going to… um… read."

He opens the book at a random page and tries to focus on it but there's a part of him that knows he's really being quite rude so it's really hard to concentrate. And he's not sure how Sebastian's going to react.

But all Sebastian does is let out a little snort of laughter and disappear into the bathroom and Kurt spends the next twenty minutes worrying about whether Sebastian's already figured out why Kurt's behaving the way he is.

_It probably wouldn't be hard_ , Kurt says to himself, _because you're acting like an idiot_.

He still can't figure out how he's gone so fast from romantic fantasies about holding hands with Blaine to wanting to know what it would feel like to be kissed by Sebastian Smythe.

And, of course, when Sebastian finally does re-emerge out of the bathroom his tie is crooked and he stands in the middle of the room, holding his bag, and looks at Kurt expectantly.

Kurt lets out a soft sigh as he steps closer to Sebastian and straightens his tie. The urge to move even closer is strong but at the same time so is the urge to get as far away as possible and it's confusing as hell… and also it's completely embarrassing that his hands are still shaking.

He can't look at Sebastian so he completely focuses on the tie and he almost jumps out of his skin when Sebastian takes a step forward. It's the first time that Sebastian has ever made any kind of movement during this tie-straightening ritual they've got going on and Kurt can't stop himself from glancing up at him in panicked confusion as he takes his own swift step backwards.

Sebastian's smiling and his green eyes seem to sparkle at Kurt.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he says in a low voice, heading for the door, and Kurt gets himself together, and then follows him.

At breakfast Kurt is completely relieved when Sebastian sits with Wes and David but then also sort of disappointed, which is just too confusing to think about so he tries to concentrate on eating instead. But that turns out to be more difficult than he'd thought it would be because Jeff is sitting beside him, grumbling under his breath and clattering cutlery around on the table. _At least it's a distraction_ , Kurt thinks, as he eyes Jeff with a raised brow.

"What on earth is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Jeff mutters, splashing orange juice into his glass and over the table.

Kurt reaches out and takes the jug from Jeff's hand. "Just stop," he says, glaring at Jeff when the other boy tries to take it back. "Stop before we all end up covered in juice, because I will end you if I have to go back and change before class."

He fills Jeff's glass and then places the jug carefully on the table out of Jeff's reach.

"Now, what is your problem? Behind in your homework?"

"No," Jeff says. "I told you. Nothing's wrong," he adds, but Kurt sees the way Jeff's eyes flick around the table and that's when he notices that Blaine's not sitting in his usual seat.

He glances around the room and finally spots Blaine sitting with another junior at another table and his brow rises again with surprise. He looks at Jeff, who's now frowning at his plate of scrambled eggs, and wonders if he should say anything. But the truth is he has absolutely no idea what he could say because he's not even really supposed to know that Blaine and Jeff are involved… and it suddenly strikes him how lonely that must be for Jeff… and probably Blaine as well.

He wants to ask Jeff so many questions, not least is how he ended up getting involved with Blaine after initially rejecting Blaine as a mentor, but he knows that he can't, particularly when Jeff seems to be in such a frazzled state. So, instead he pats Jeff's hand and tries to get him into a better mood with aimless speculation about which Pink song the Warbler's Council will finally choose for them to perform at Sectionals, until Jeff seems to cheer up a little.

When Kurt gets up to go to his first class he can't help noticing that Sebastian's eyes are upon him and that makes any thoughts of Jeff or Blaine immediately flit out of his head.

Kurt gets through the rest of the day in a sort of daze of messed-up daydreams. Daydreams where they _did_ really go on a date the previous night and where Sebastian _did_ actually kiss Kurt at Kurt's door. Or, in that moment when Sebastian had stepped forward whilst Kurt was straightening his tie, Kurt hadn't moved back, but instead stayed where he was and Sebastian's head had lowered over his… his mouth searching out Kurt's… and Kurt decides to stop the daydreaming right there - because he really can't let this get out of hand. Well, more out of hand.

It's a strange feeling to like someone who has actually admitted to liking him as well, and it's sort of scary too. A part of him wants to just kind of go for it, but at the same time he's got a fair idea of what Sebastian is like now. It's obvious that he's experienced in ways that Kurt can't even imagine (or wants to imagine) and that his expectations of a 'relationship' are completely different to Kurt's romantic yearnings. So, even if Kurt's stomach flutters uncomfortably and his skin seems to heat up whenever he thinks about Sebastian, he's not going to go there. He'll just have to try the best he can to ignore the crush that he's so suddenly developed.

So, after classes finish, he dutifully delivers Sebastian's gear to his lacrosse practice, and then quickly goes back to Sebastian's room and wrestles with his homework.

He's just starting a translation for his French class when the door opens and Sebastian comes in, still wearing his lacrosse uniform. Kurt, startled, jumps in his seat and Sebastian gives him a quick smirk before disappearing into the bathroom and Kurt hears the shower start.

About ten minutes later the bathroom door opens and Sebastian emerges in a cloud of delicious smelling steam. Kurt quickly looks away when he sees that Sebastian's only wearing a pair of jeans, and is in the process of pulling a soft-looking sweater over his head.

Instead Kurt glares at his French homework and then groans softly when he spots several mistakes that he usually wouldn't make.

"What's up?" Sebastian asks, hovering behind Kurt's chair.

"Nothing," Kurt says quickly. "Just homework."

"Ah, French. You know, I could help you with that," Sebastian says, and suddenly he's pulling up a chair beside Kurt's whilst Kurt tries not to look horrified. "I'm fluent."

_Of course you are,_ Kurt thinks, as he attempts to shift away a little but Sebastian's already leaning close to look down at Kurt's notebook.

"Yeah, this bit's not right," Sebastian says, tapping his finger on the page.

"I know, I was just about to correct it," Kurt says, and when he sees that his hand is shaking again he lets out a little sigh of frustration.

Sebastian turns his head to look at Kurt, and Kurt's fairly certain that he's smirking, even though he's stubbornly refusing to meet Sebastian's eyes. But he does sense when Sebastian suddenly frowns.

"How did you get that?"

"What?" Kurt asks, still refusing to look at Sebastian, and a moment later he really regrets that because Sebastian reaches out and traces his finger over the scar on Kurt's throat that he's completely forgotten about, and Kurt almost jumps out of his skin.

"Sorry," Sebastian says softly, but he doesn't move his hand away. Instead he traces the scar again and Kurt can't stop the little shiver that goes through him at the sensation. "So, how did you get it?"

Kurt clears his throat, trying not to sound too nervous. "I had an operation years ago to remove an infected gland. It's from that."

"Oh," Sebastian says, and he shifts closer again. "Has anyone ever kissed it better?"

And Kurt's too busy freaking out to be anything other than frozen and speechless as Sebastian leans forward and brushes his lips gently over the scar on Kurt's throat. It lasts only for a second but the feeling of Sebastian's lips on his skin and the brush of his hair against Kurt's face is enough to make Kurt shiver, yet again, and he can feel the flush rising in his cheeks. He stares down at his French homework, and he's gripping his pen so tightly that his knuckles are turning white. He wonders if he can just ignore what just happened but Sebastian is still sitting very close, and Kurt can almost feel the way his eyes are focussed on Kurt's face… and it's suddenly getting very difficult for Kurt to breathe properly.

"Hey," Sebastian whispers. "Look at me."

Sebastian's hand moves to Kurt's chin and Kurt, feeling like he's in some sort of spell, lets Sebastian pull his face around and stares at Sebastian with wide eyes.

"You really are gorgeous, Kurt," Sebastian says, and his tone is thoughtful, almost wondering, as his eyes drift over Kurt's face. Kurt's stunned, still frozen, but he blinks when he feels Sebastian's thumb brush underneath his mouth.

"And this little dent under your bottom lip that makes it pout just drives me insane," Sebastian continues in a firmer voice. "I really want to kiss you, and I have a feeling that you want that too, sweetheart. So, all you have to do now is nod your head."

Kurt's brain is still stuck on the fact that someone who looks like Sebastian has just called Kurt 'gorgeous' so it's a moment before he catches up with the rest of what Sebastian has said, but when he does, his heart leaps in his chest. His face is heating up again, and it's from both embarrassment over the fact that Sebastian has obviously figured out Kurt's little crush problem so quickly, and a rush of nervous excitement. Sebastian's eyes are fixed on Kurt's mouth in a way that makes it even harder for Kurt to think clearly about whether or not he should be letting this happen because all he can decide, in the end, is that he's finally going to get a kiss from someone that he actually wants it from. And he really wants it.

So, he nods.

Sebastian leans forward and Kurt feels an arm slip around his waist and he can't stop himself from twitching away from it nervously, but the movement actually just takes him closer to Sebastian, and Sebastian smiles and tightens his arm. Sebastian's nearness and the warmth that Kurt can feel from his body, makes his stomach swoop with tension, and when Sebastian bends his head, Kurt swiftly closes his eyes. But when Sebastian's mouth presses against the scar on his throat again, Kurt's eyes fly open and he can't contain his gasp of surprise.

This time Sebastian's mouth lingers, his lips pressing open against Kurt's skin, and when the tip of his tongue traces the line of the scar, the sensation rips right through Kurt's body. He bites his lip, in a futile attempt to contain yet another gasp, and the pen he's still holding drops onto the desk.

Sebastian's hand is still gently holding Kurt's face, his thumb brushing against his bottom lip, pulling it away from the grip of Kurt's teeth, and then suddenly Sebastian's right there, his mouth pressing firmly against Kurt's, and Kurt freezes again because _Sebastian Smythe is kissing him and he has no idea what to do._

Sebastian obviously senses Kurt's confusion and he pulls away slightly until his lips are just barely touching Kurt's.

"Just relax," he whispers, and Kurt kind of wants to tell him that it's easy enough to just say it, but not so easy to do it, particularly when a part of him is still wondering if he should have ended up in this situation at all… but he doesn't really get the chance, because Sebastian's pressing forward again.

It's a gentle pressure though, more like a soft caress against Kurt's lips that he still has no idea what to do with, until he feels the way that Sebastian's mouth opens around his bottom lip, and Kurt's lips just sort of part around Sebastian's top lip, and suddenly, somehow, he's kissing Sebastian back.

Sebastian makes a quiet approving noise that makes Kurt's stomach drop, and it sets off a sort of tingling warmth that spreads through his body. He's still tense but it also feels like he could melt at the same time, and when Sebastian's hand moves to rest on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, that's exactly what Kurt does.

Later, Kurt manages to think, he's maybe going to be a little embarrassed at the way his nervous tension just seems to drain away, or the way his hands are suddenly on Sebastian's shoulders, fingers clenching in the soft wool of his sweater, or the way he can't stop his soft moan when Sebastian's tongue runs along his bottom lip in a way that makes him open to it so very easily.

And it is easy, Kurt realizes, it's far easier than he has ever imagined - to just kiss someone he likes and lose himself in it. It's all delicious wet heat and the slick slide of tongues, a rhythm of ebb and flow that makes him want more everywhere, and instinctively he presses forward, allowing the kiss to deepen.

It's quite a thrill when he hears Sebastian's moan but suddenly there's a lot more heat in the kiss, a sort of demand in the pressure of Sebastian's lips and his tongue that wasn't there before, and it breaks Kurt out of the moment… and that's when he realizes that his phone is ringing.

He pulls away from Sebastian, with an odd mixture of disappointment tinged with relief. At first Sebastian tries to follow him but when Kurt turns his face away, Sebastian takes a deep breath.

"Don't answer it," he says in a low voice, but the spell is broken and Kurt shakes his head. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't ignore it. Ever since his dad's heart attack Kurt's lived with the worry of what a missed call could mean.

"It might be my dad," he says, although it's really more of a whisper, but Sebastian's already handing him his phone with a smile, and Kurt takes it gratefully.

He's still sort of dazed though as he answers it, and he can only blink in confusion when Finn's voice immediately blasts into his ear.

"Dammit, Kurt," Finn says. "Man, I really should have listened to you but I was tryin' to figure out the best time to tell her. But then Santana and Rachel started fighting in glee club and the next thing I know, Santana's telling Rachel and now she's so angry with me, she won't talk to me. What am I going to do, Kurt?"

"Huh?" Kurt manages to say, even as he realizes, with a heap of embarrassment, that he's actually still being held in Sebastian's arms – and that his other hand is still clutching Sebastian's shoulder. He pulls it away immediately and shifts uncomfortably, and Sebastian finally lets him go, stands up and walks away.

"Kurt? Are you there?"

"Um, yeah," Kurt says, finally getting his head clear. "I'm sorry, Finn, but can you give me a couple of minutes? I'll call you back."

"Sure," Finn says as Kurt hangs up. He looks around the room and sees Sebastian sitting on the end of his bed and gives him a nervous smile.

"I'm sorry," he says. "It's my brother. I should really talk to him."

Sebastian grins. "You know, there's a name I could call your brother right now that isn't very flattering and in the interests of polite behaviour I won't repeat it. But I'm sure you can figure it out anyway."

Kurt just manages to stop himself from frowning in confusion, because he has no idea what Sebastian is talking about, but he's still fairly sure that his faint smile must give him away, and that's kind of confirmed when Sebastian looks puzzled and then frowns.

"Okay," Sebastian says, running a hand through his hair and making it stand up all over the place. "Why don't you go back to your room and make your call? Unfortunately, I have to go to a dinner meeting thing with the Housemasters and the Prefects and they always run late, so I'll see you in the morning, all right?"

"Okay," Kurt agrees softly, and he quickly turns to gather up his stuff. Uncertainty and doubt are beginning to catch up with him now and he's suddenly very anxious about what just happened, and he's even more anxious when he turns to find Sebastian watching him with the same doubt in his eyes.

The look is gone quickly though and Sebastian steps forward and brushes a finger over Kurt's lips, making him gasp before he can stop himself, which is just completely embarrassing.

"We'll talk in the morning, sweetheart," he says, and Kurt nods, gets himself out of the door, and then takes a deep breath when he's in the hallway. He's not sure whether it's from relief or… something else that he doesn't really want to think about yet… but he does know that there's a lot of confusion in it.

He can't quite believe that it actually happened, that he was actually just kissed by Sebastian Smythe, but the fact that his lips are still kind of tender is pretty much proof that it _did_ happen. And he has to admit that it was far better than he had ever imagined it could be, in fact just thinking about it has made him sort of breathless again. Which might not be such a good thing, Kurt thinks, when he's about to call Finn and attempt to have a conversation with him.

So, Kurt forces the whole thing out of his mind and goes back to his dorm room and is fairly surprised to find Jeff there, lying on his bed, iPod earbuds in his ears, eyes closed. Kurt taps him on the foot and Jeff gives him a curious look.

"What are you doing here?" Jeff asks, pulling an earbud out of his ear.

"I could ask you the same thing," Kurt replies, and then raises an eyebrow when Jeff seems to go a bit pink.

"Oh, Blaine's off-campus," Jeff says. "Doing some sort of project with someone, I think."

"Well, I came back because I have to call my brother. Is that okay?" Kurt asks, because he can tell that Jeff's still in a fairly bad mood.

"Of course," Jeff says, shortly. "I've got this pretty loud anyway."

He settles back on his bed as Kurt digs out his phone and finds Finn in his contacts.

"Hey, Kurt," Finn says, before Kurt can even get a word out. "I just tried to call Rachel but she still won't answer. Dude, I don't know what to do about this."

"Um… well, I'm still not clear about what happened," Kurt says. "Did you say something about Santana?"

"Yeah, she and Rachel started fighting in glee club and the next thing I knew Santana was spilling about what happened last year. Rachel just went dead quiet and she hasn't spoken a word to me since."

"Right," Kurt says, frowning. "That's… unusual… for Rachel. I mean, the not talking thing." He's tried to be diplomatic but he's still relieved when Finn lets out a little huff of laughter and says, "I know what you mean."

"I suppose the whole thing must have really shocked her," Kurt continues. "She probably just needs time to um, digest it. I have a feeling she'll be talking again fairly soon, Finn, and all you can really do is wait until she does and then listen."

"Yeah," Finn sighs, "I know. You're right. But I just don't get why this is such a big deal. I mean, she was with Jesse at the time so it's not like I was even cheating on her or anything."

"Well, maybe she's more upset that you didn't tell her the truth," Kurt offers, and through the phone he hears Finn sigh.

"Well, she lied about Jesse too, you know," Finn says. "And yeah, sure, she eventually told me the truth but I wasn't upset about it the way she is."

"Finn, this is Rachel," Kurt eventually says. "Don't expect sanity. Do expect singing."

Thankfully, Finn laughs and Kurt's glad to hear it. They end the call soon afterwards and by then it's time for dinner, so Kurt follows Jeff out of their room.

On the way to the dining hall he gets a text from Mercedes. _Boy, you would not believe what went down at school today with Finchel._

_Oh yes I would_ , he replies, _I've been talking to Finn. Give them a wide berth, honey, and I'll see you at Sectionals._

He feels a little guilty about the brush-off but he really doesn't think he can talk to her at the moment. Mercedes has a disconcerting habit of getting information out of Kurt even when he doesn't want to give it and he's not taking any risks about her finding out about Sebastian. Especially not before he's had a chance to really think about what just happened.

Unfortunately he doesn't get a chance to think about it until he's lying in bed that night because after dinner, Nick and Liam turn up in Kurt and Jeff's dorm room to watch a movie. It's probably a good thing, Kurt decides, because it seems to make Jeff relax – but it also has the effect of making the kiss with Sebastian seem sort of surreal. As if it never really happened.

But it did happen, and once he's tucked up in bed, it's really all Kurt can think about. His mind seems to have the unfortunate tendency to want to dwell on remembering the heat and pressure of Sebastian's lips against his. It makes Kurt restless and it feels like he's aching for more and somehow he's not at all surprised to find himself getting hard at the memory. He's never really been one to touch himself often but now he really wants to, and it's only the fact that Jeff is softly snoring in the bed next to him that stops him.

Except that's not quite true, Kurt realizes, once he finally manages to tear his mind away from replaying the kiss in his head, because it's not just Jeff's presence that's stopping him. It's also a hell of a lot of doubt and anxiety about what's going to happen next with Sebastian. Because Kurt still has a feeling that he's made a mistake in letting that kiss happen, and he's not entirely sure that he should let it happen again… he hasn't forgotten that Sebastian is his mentor, and that he, Kurt, is Sebastian's canary, and what that can mean within the stupid 'Dalton Tradition'. He'd sworn to himself that he wouldn't let something like this happen – and now, here he is, teetering on the edge.

Oddly enough, the only thing that eases his anxiety slightly is the fact that he'd seen doubt in Sebastian's eyes as well. Of course, he's got no idea what that doubt means – it could be that Sebastian's decided that he can't be bothered with someone as inexperienced as Kurt (which is a strangely humiliating thought that Kurt pushes aside quickly), or he could be just as concerned about the mentor/canary thing as Kurt is.

Either way, all Kurt can really do is wait to see what Sebastian will say in the morning, and try to get some sleep.

It's the trying to get some sleep that proves almost impossible.


	14. Chapter 14

Kurt's feeling pretty exhausted and fairly wary by the time he knocks on Sebastian's door the next morning, two coffee cups in hand. It also feels like there's a lump of lead in his stomach and that reminds him of the drive to Dalton with his Dad and how much he'd been worried about the 'Dalton Tradition' back then.

It seems like not that much has changed really.

He gets a little jolt of surprise when the door opens and he sees Sebastian. He looks just as pale and tired as Kurt feels and it makes Kurt wonder if Sebastian had the same sleepless night that he had.

Sebastian takes his coffee, with a muttered 'thanks', as Kurt wanders into the room and tentatively takes his usual seat. He really has no idea what to expect next and it's a feeling that Kurt doesn't like at all.

"So," Sebastian says slowly as he sits down at his desk, " so… um, how was your brother?"

Kurt blinks, because he has a very strong feeling that the question wasn't the original one that Sebastian was going to ask.

"Um… fine," he answers, after clearing his throat nervously. "Aside from problems with his girlfriend."

Sebastian nods, and his usual smirk briefly crosses his face. It's gone quickly, and Kurt can almost see the resolve come into Sebastian's eyes, and he braces himself.

"We need to talk about yesterday," Sebastian says in a calm voice and suddenly Kurt is almost overwhelmed with an absolute need to just flee the room. He squashes it as firmly as he can, but still it startles him for a moment, and he figures the moment of panic must have shown on his face, because Sebastian shifts in his chair and frowns.

"Hey, look," Sebastian says quietly, "I said before that this doesn't have to mean anything. It doesn't have to be a big deal. We tried it, but if you don't want it, if you don't like it or you're not ready for it, it doesn't have to happen again."

Kurt grips his coffee cup tightly and he feels like he's frozen in the chair. His heart's pounding and his head's just a mass of confused, whirling thoughts because he just really has no idea what to make of what Sebastian has just said, and Sebastian is looking at him as if he's waiting for Kurt to say something.

"And what do _you_ want?" he hears himself asking, and then feels the heat rush into his face. That was really not the first thing he wanted to hear come out of his own mouth, and he can tell by Sebastian's brief, startled look that he hadn't expected to hear it either.

Then the look is gone and Sebastian grins. "I thought I'd made that pretty clear," he says, and Kurt is shocked when he finds himself wanting to return the grin. And it's not a good thing, he thinks, the way his emotions seem to be veering all over the place.

"But this is about what _you_ want," Sebastian continues, the grin fading from his face. "And I think that neither of us are sure about what that is. So, that being said, I think it would be wise if we just forget about yesterday."

And he kind of hadn't been expecting that, Kurt thinks, as his heart contracts with something that he wants to tell himself must be relief. He's sure it's not though, because it's too painful, a twisting sensation that almost makes him gasp. His mind's whirling again but at the back of it all is the thought that he's pretty sure that Sebastian's just given him the brush off; that for all his comments about liking Kurt, Sebastian has for some reason changed his mind and Kurt's not experienced enough or attractive enough to bother with any further.

It had been something he'd imagined the night before but the humiliation of the reality is far sharper than he'd thought it would be and even though he's had his own doubts about the whole thing, he can't stop the sudden surge of anger he feels.

"Fine," he says sharply, standing up suddenly because now that urge to get out of the room is back and this time it's too strong to ignore. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to go to breakfast now."

"Hey, now, whoa." Sebastian's on his feet quickly and heading Kurt off at the door before Kurt's even managed to take a few steps. His face is full of surprise but his eyes are also sparkling with amusement and Kurt gets that sickening twist of humiliation in his stomach again.

"We should talk more," Sebastian adds, and Kurt narrows his eyes.

"What's the point?" he snaps, unable to keep the bitter sarcasm out of his voice. "You've already made the decision for both of us. It's not like I could possibly have anything to say, even though you say that this is about what _I_ want."

Kurt's rather pleased to see that the amusement is out of Sebastian's eyes now, replaced with a mixture of exasperation and something that might be guilt. And he's not sure what to think of that, but it's not like he gets much chance to because Sebastian steps closer and Kurt finds himself backed up against the wall.

"Okay then," Sebastian says, some of that exasperation bleeding into his voice. "Obviously I said the wrong thing, but I'm actually trying to do the right thing here. Call me inexperienced at that and I won't argue with you. But the thing is, sweetheart, I'm pretty sure now that this is all new to you and I don't want to push you into this… so I thought I should back off. But if that's not what you want you're gonna have to tell me. To be blunt, you're the one calling the shots here, Kurt. It's up to you."

Kurt's absolutely speechless by the time Sebastian finishes talking. He's never been ashamed about his lack of experience, mainly because he's never been that interested in getting the type of experience that he knows Sebastian's talking about, but still it's not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world to have it talked about so openly. It had been bad enough with Nick and Jeff, but with someone like Sebastian, someone who he's finding himself thinking about in ways he's never really thought about anyone before, it's just completely… infuriating.

And when Kurt's infuriated he has an unfortunate tendency to act impulsively.

Of course, he's not really remembering that when he reaches up and wraps his hands around Sebastian's neck, pulling him down in a hard movement that awkwardly mashes their lips together; instead he just thoroughly enjoys the harsh, startled sound that Sebastian makes against Kurt's mouth.

Unfortunately, a moment later he does remember, just as he starts to freeze up and worry that he might have got in over his head, but it's too late, because Sebastian's already got his arms around Kurt's waist and he's already starting to take control of the kiss, gentling it out even as he deepens it, until it's something slow and drugging, making Kurt forget everything as he gradually turns into a shivering, gasping mess.

His hands are still clenched around the nape of Sebastian's neck when Sebastian finally drags his lips away from Kurt's mouth to linger over his jaw and Kurt can't seem to make himself let go. With Sebastian this close, Kurt can clearly smell the spicy, sharp scent of the cologne Sebastian always wears and as he inhales deeply, it's suddenly all around him and it's… intoxicating, a sort of strange proof of their intimacy that makes something flutter in Kurt's stomach.

"You're trembling," Sebastian whispers against his ear, which only has the effect of making Kurt blush and tremble even more.

He also can't think of anything to say but it doesn't really matter when Sebastian presses a hot, wet kiss to his neck because he loses the ability to speak anyway. Nimble fingers loosen his tie and a thumb flicks against the button underneath. A moment later his collar is pulled aside and Kurt's eyes close as Sebastian's mouth slides down to the bottom of his throat and latches on.

There's suction and the gentle scrape and press of teeth and tongue. Kurt knows what Sebastian is doing and how easily his skin marks and he's fairly certain he should stop this but all he does is tilt his head in silent encouragement. All he can think about is the way Sebastian's hair brushes against his jaw, the way his arms hold Kurt tight against him, and the way the sensation of his mouth on Kurt's skin seems to sit low and heavy in Kurt's belly.

By the time Sebastian pulls away, Kurt's panting and he hasn't been able to stop a few little moans from escaping his mouth. Sebastian grins at him and then leans down to Kurt's ear.

"So, I'm guessing you don't want me to back off," he says, and heat floods Kurt's face once again. He clears his throat.

"Maybe not," he manages to say, and he blinks at the low, raw note he can hear in his own voice.

Sebastian lifts his head and it's a bit of struggle for Kurt to meet his eyes but when he finally does, Sebastian smiles at him.

"Well, good," Sebastian says, "because I _really_ didn't want to."

Kurt's speechless again, and if that's a new habit Kurt kind of doesn't care, because Sebastian ducks his head and presses his lips to Kurt's and Kurt decides that he really doesn't need to say anything at all.

Kurt's clinging to Sebastian's shoulders when the kiss finally ends. He suspects that Sebastian had been holding back because the kiss was fairly chaste compared to the others they've shared, but Kurt's still almost dizzy all the same.

"If we don't go soon we'll miss breakfast," Sebastian says softly, his eyes scanning Kurt's face, and then he smirks. "Your tie needs fixing."

Kurt blushes again (and he's _really_ got to learn to stop doing that, he thinks) because he can feel the gentle ache on his throat where Sebastian's mouth has bruised him and he's pretty sure he's going to be noticing that all day even if no one else can see it. Sebastian laughs and quickly tidies Kurt's tie and then he lifts his chin so that Kurt can fix his.

It's not until he follows Sebastian into the dining room and over to the Warbler's table that the full realization of what he's just done sort of bursts into Kurt's mind.

He's become a canary in every sense of what that means in the 'Dalton Tradition'. He's become _Sebastian's_ canary and he has no idea where that's going to end up taking him.

As he drops into the seat beside Jeff, he knows he's gone pale because he can practically feel the blood draining from his face leaving him feeling cold and numb, and when Sebastian sits down beside him, Kurt's whole body tenses up with anxiety. In a moment of sheer panic, he wonders if Sebastian will try to show some sign of their changed relationship in public, and relief floods him when Sebastian starts talking to David.

"Kurt, are you okay?" Jeff asks, and Kurt turns to him blankly, sees the concern in his eyes, and in that moment, completely understands why Jeff and Blaine have kept their relationship a secret.

Jeff's still staring at him so Kurt finally manages to smile and nod his head.

"Yeah," he says. "I just didn't sleep so well, that's all."

Thankfully, Jeff accepts that with a smile and turns back to his breakfast. Kurt forces himself to relax, forces himself to eat, tries - and fails - to force himself not to think.

He glances at Jeff, and he really wants to ask him if it was his choice to keep his involvement with Blaine a secret, and if it was because he felt this lingering sense of shame about what everyone else might think of him if they knew. He wonders if Jeff ever regrets it, if he wishes it had never happened and he could go back, or if he likes and wants Blaine so much that he's prepared to accept the way the 'Dalton Tradition' makes him feel, so that he can be with Blaine.

And Kurt really didn't want to feel this way after finally getting to kiss a boy who likes him, and who he likes. He remembers the guilt he'd felt after kissing Brittany, not because she hadn't wanted it (it had been her idea after all) but because he'd been lying to himself about who he was the whole time, and acting on it. Then there had been Karofsky – there had been no guilt there, only horror and disgust and, yes, shame and humiliation at the thought of anyone finding out.

Still, Kurt thinks, Sebastian _is_ different. It's odd, but Kurt's now got a certain level of trust with Sebastian – he's sure that Sebastian won't push him into anything that Kurt's not ready for, and he knows that if he told Sebastian that he didn't want to continue with this developing relationship, that Sebastian would accept it and let them go back to the way they were before. The problem for Kurt is that when he thinks about the way that kissing Sebastian makes him feel, he's pretty sure that there's no going back, and he suspects that deep down he doesn't really want to.

He just really wishes that the 'Dalton Tradition' wasn't a part of this.

He drifts through the rest of the day, trying to ignore the way his heart beats harder whenever he catches a glimpse of Sebastian in the hallways and when they're at lunch, until finally he's making his way to Sebastian's room for his very last detention.

Sebastian's not there, so Kurt sits down in his usual seat and pulls out his book. He's too wound up to read though, and he just stares blindly at the page, until his phone buzzes with a text and he almost jumps out of his skin.

It's from Finn. ' _Rachel made me go to a talking thing with Ms. Pillsbury. Didn't go well – I think she was goinf to hit me.'_

Kurt blinks at it and then another message comes through.

' _Rachel, not Ms. Pillsbury.'_

Kurt can't help the snort of laughter that escapes him and he's pretty sure that Finn wouldn't appreciate it so he sends back a sympathetic message of support rather than calling. All he can really do is advise Finn to be patient and hope that Rachel will eventually calm down, and after a few minutes Finn texts back his agreement.

He's just putting his phone away in his bag when the door opens and Sebastian sweeps in, smirking at Kurt as soon as he sees him. He leans down over Kurt and presses a kiss to Kurt's mouth before Kurt can even blink.

"So, it's your last day of detention," he says, still smirking. "I was hoping you'd do something… _naughty_ … so I could extend it."

"Well, there's still time, I guess," Kurt says, and then he actually thinks about what he's just said and blushes. Sebastian just looks delighted.

"My thoughts exactly," he says, and then he's sliding down beside Kurt onto the wide wing chair so that they're sort of squashed together on the seat.

Kurt's barely got time to shift into a more comfortable position before Sebastian's hand is on his jaw, tilting his face up, and his lips are on Kurt's. The kiss is gentle, almost tender Kurt thinks, and he really wants to melt into it, but the thoughts that have been in the back of his mind all day, won't let him go. Finally, Sebastian pulls away and gives him a puzzled look.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Kurt falters, and then he steadies himself. He really needs to know what to expect so he has to ask or he's not going to get any peace and he doesn't think he can take another sleepless night. "Um… did you tell anyone about… um, us?"

Sebastian frowns, still confused. "Did you want me to?"

"No," Kurt says quickly, perhaps too quickly, and for a moment he thinks there's a flash of something in Sebastian's eyes, something that might be hurt or anger, but the problem is he just doesn't _know_ Sebastian well enough yet to be sure.

"Well, no, I didn't actually," Sebastian says slowly. He eyes Kurt for a moment and Kurt can't tell anything from his expression until Sebastian smiles. "Look, whatever happens is just between us, okay? It's nobody's business but our own. Is that what you want to hear?"

Kurt nods. "Is that okay with you?" he asks doubtfully, and Sebastian smirks.

"It's fine," he says, brushing his lips against Kurt's cheek, sliding towards his mouth. "Besides, sneaking around is fun."

Kurt doesn't get a chance to say anything more because they're kissing again, deep and wet. He's kind of got a strange fleeting discomfort about the conversation though, as if something about it was just not right, but a moment later it slips out of his mind as he loses himself in the sensation of Sebastian's tongue sliding against his own.

Sebastian presses him into the wing of the chair, and pulls Kurt's leg over his thigh, and for a second Kurt's intimidated by how tangled together they are, but the moment passes when Sebastian nips at his bottom lip and then sucks on it gently. He can't help a small smile of satisfaction when he hears a moan and realizes that it's Sebastian but then Sebastian's tongue is back in his mouth and he loses track of time until he notices, with a little jolt of surprise, that the hand that had been resting on his waist, is now sliding under his shirt. He's got no idea when Sebastian tugged his shirt loose but he forgets to worry about it when he feels Sebastian's hand on his bare skin.

Sebastian's hand is warm and firm and when his thumb traces the line of Kurt's lowest rib, Kurt gasps into Sebastian's mouth. This time it's Kurt who moans, and then suddenly he's completely aware of how hard he is, his erection straining against his pants, and his body tightens up with sudden tension as he freezes.

Sebastian must feel it because he pulls away immediately, and Kurt has a hard time drawing his eyes away from the sight of Sebastian's wet, kiss-swollen lips.

"Do you want to stop for a while?" Sebastian asks in a low voice, and Kurt takes a deep, shaky breath and nods gratefully.

"Okay, I have a lot of homework to get done, anyway," Sebastian says, and after planting a quick kiss on Kurt's mouth, he untangles himself from the chair and goes over to his bag where he's thrown it on the bed.

Kurt finally succeeds in calming himself down and he tries to concentrate on his book, but he finds himself peeking over it to stare at Sebastian quite a few times. Sebastian's at his desk, working at something on his laptop, and Kurt can't see his face because he's sort of sprawled sideways, loose-limbed and graceful, and as Kurt's eyes track over his long legs he can't ignore the way he's reacting to the sight.

His skin feels too hot, there's a hungry feeling in his stomach that has nothing to do with food, and he's already half-hard again. He thinks about Sebastian's hand on his skin and he wants to feel it again, but at the same time it's confusing that it's affected him so strongly. His heart has always yearned for romance, and there is _nothing_ romantic about Sebastian, but yet Kurt's heart still seems to leap into his throat whenever he looks at Sebastian, and he's definitely not just thinking about holding hands and picnics. He's thinking about long, deep kisses and hands on hot skin… and the mark that Sebastian has left on his throat.

Kurt's actually feeling breathless when Sebastian suddenly looks up and catches his gaze, and his face flames with heat. Sebastian smirks and winks, and goes back to his homework and Kurt spends the next hour stubbornly forcing himself to read.

Sebastian doesn't approach him again until they've returned from dinner and Kurt's packing up his bag, when all of a sudden Sebastian's pressed up behind him, his arms winding around Kurt's waist, and his chin resting on Kurt's shoulder.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he says against Kurt's ear, and Kurt shivers. "I'll see you in the morning."

Kurt nods, but Sebastian doesn't let him go. Instead his lips slide along Kurt's ear, his breath hot against Kurt's skin, and Kurt gasps.

"Hmmm, I really like the sounds you make," Sebastian whispers. "You have no idea."

His teeth clench gently around Kurt's earlobe and Kurt cannot contain his low moan.

"Just. Like. That," Sebastian says, prefacing each word with a little nip of his teeth. Then he presses a loud smacking kiss to Kurt's cheek and laughs as he lets him go.

"Sleep well," he says, and Kurt gathers up his bag, still in a bit of a daze, and heads for the door.

It's not until he's back in his, thankfully empty, dorm room that Kurt realizes that he's kind of wound up tight again, and he's absolutely certain that's exactly what Sebastian intended.

He's still a little resentful about that when he heads back to Sebastian's room in the morning, even though he actually has managed to get some sleep, but his resentment doesn't stop him letting Sebastian mess up his tie again to suck another bite mark onto Kurt's throat. Instead, Kurt's only grateful that Sebastian's at least making sure the marks are hidden by his collar. Kurt's still thoroughly conscious of them throughout the day though, and the gentle ache he feels whenever he surreptitiously presses a finger against one of them is echoed by the hungry ache he feels in his stomach.

There's an extra Warbler's practice that afternoon, in preparation for Sectionals, and Kurt finds it a struggle to concentrate because Sebastian performs lead on one of the numbers they rehearse. It's the first time he's seen Sebastian out front and he's an impressive singer as well as a great dancer. In fact, Kurt decides, even against Jeff, Sebastian's easily the best dancer out of all the Warblers. He moves with confidence and grace, and a sort of precision that Kurt can only think of as… sexy.

So, by the time practice is finishing Kurt's feeling kind of regretful that his detention with Sebastian is over, and he's actually trying to think up ways to follow Sebastian to his room, when Sebastian comes over to him and gives him a rueful smile.

"Well, sweetheart, it sucks, but I've got to stay behind for a Warbler's council meeting," he says. "We have to decide on the final set list so we can run through it at tomorrow's practice. It looks like Wes and Thad are spoiling for a fight, so this will probably take a while. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

Kurt nods, and hopes that he doesn't look as disappointed as he feels, but he's pretty sure he's unsuccessful when Sebastian leans closer.

"You should go now," he whispers. "Before I kiss you in front of everyone."

Kurt's heart almost stops in panic and his face immediately heats. He gives Sebastian a resentful glare and makes sure to tread on his foot firmly as he passes him to head for the door.

Sebastian hisses in pain and then Kurt hears him laugh softly. "Little bitch," Sebastian whispers, and Kurt ignores him, but he ducks his head to hide his sudden smile.

Still, he wonders at himself as he walks slowly back to his dorm room. Only a week ago he'd been feeling pretty resentful towards Sebastian and he'd been certain that he didn't like him. And now, here he is, disappointed that he won't get to spend the evening with him, won't get to kiss him until morning. It's sobering to think just how quickly and how much his feelings have changed about Sebastian.

Kurt's still lost in thought when he gets back to his dorm room and he only barely notices that Jeff isn't there. He drifts into the bathroom and loosens his tie and collar, pulling his shirt aside to look at the marks that Sebastian has left on his throat. The first one is starting to fade but the second one is vibrant against Kurt's white skin and when he presses it, he can feel the echo of Sebastian's mouth, and he shivers.

That's surprising and sobering too, the way that he's reacting so much to what Sebastian does to him. He remembers what Nick had said to him, on that night when they'd talked about Kurt's lack of experience, and he wonders if this is the start of that, the start of wanting more, and it's worrying and makes the anxiety rise in his stomach, because he's not sure he wants that to happen.

And aside from all that, it doesn't help that whenever he thinks about Sectionals on Saturday he feels sick, with a mixture of guilt, nerves and a sort of stage fright that he's never experienced before.

A knock at the door startles him out of the funk that he's slipping into, and Kurt quickly fixes his collar, and opens the door to find Blaine standing in the hallway, looking confused.

"Hey, Kurt," he says, with his usual charming smile, but Kurt can see the hint of anxiety in his eyes. "You don't happen to know where Jeff is, do you? I'm having a bit of trouble tracking him down."

"Oh, um, no I haven't seen him," Kurt replies, just as Blaine's phone beeps with a text.

"Oh, he says he's off-campus," Blaine says, reading the phone and frowning. "That was quick, we've only just finished practice."

"Maybe he'd arranged to meet a friend," Kurt offers, and Blaine smiles again but Kurt can see the anxiety that's still behind it.

"Yeah, of course," he says quickly. "So, how are you anyway? We haven't had much of a chance to talk lately. Would you like to get a coffee before dinner or something?"

"That would be great actually," Kurt replies gratefully, relieved that he won't be left alone to flounder in his own thoughts.

"So, how are you?" Blaine asks again, once they're settled in the dining room with coffee and for a moment Kurt's lost for words.

"Oh, well, um… I'm nervous about Sectionals," Kurt finally says. "I'm not sure I've caught up with the Warbler's routines and I don't want to let you down. I know you let me join at such short notice."

Blaine gives him a concerned smile. "Hey," he says, "you've got nothing to worry about, Kurt. I think you've done an amazing job learning everything so quickly, and I know the other's feel the same way."

Kurt feels his cheeks go pink with pleasure. "Are you sure?" he asks, a little shyly. "I mean, the Warbler's have a lot more choreography than New Directions…" he falls into silence, and then sighs.

"The truth is," he continues, "I'm nervous about seeing them all. I'm in their competition now and I'm not sure how they'll react."

"I thought you said they didn't mind," Blaine says quietly, and Kurt nods.

"Mercedes told them, and she said they were fine, but still, it might be different when we see each other again. I can't help feeling that I've let them down, and I'm only going to feel even worse if I mess up something and let you guys down as well."

Blaine reaches over and takes Kurt hand and it's warm and comforting.

"They know you needed to be safe, Kurt," he says in a low voice. "And they know that you need to live your life and do things that you enjoy. I've only met Mercedes, but if she's anything to go by, then I know that they really are your friends, and they'll understand."

Kurt swallows heavily and remembers the way Rachel had fought with Finn to defend him, he remembers Sam's black eye, and Puck, of all people, offering to protect him and he knows that Blaine's right.

"I miss them," he says simply.

"I know," Blaine replies, squeezing Kurt's hand. "But you have friends here as well – and we would never think that you've let us down, no matter what happens on Saturday."

Kurt smiles and then takes a deep breath. "Okay, enough of that. Let's talk about something more cheerful. What did you think of this months Vogue cover?"

Blaine laughs and they fall into a long conversation that continues on through dinner and right up to when Blaine walks Kurt to his dorm room, and Kurt thoroughly enjoys it. Talking to Blaine doesn't give him that excited, fluttery feeling he used to get when he had a crush on him (the same one he now has when he's with Sebastian), but it's comfortable and easy and Kurt decides that he really likes being friends with Blaine.

He can't help wondering though, if he'll ever be able to talk to Blaine about Jeff, or about what's happening with Sebastian, and he kind of wishes he could, because it might help to clear his mind of his confusion about the 'Dalton Tradition'.

He's still in a good mood when he gets to Sebastian's room the next morning, and he grins when Sebastian takes the coffee from him and crowds him against the wall, his hand resting behind Kurt's head.

"So, what did you get up to last night?" Sebastian asks, his lips drifting over Kurt's ear, and Kurt figures that Sebastian's worked out that he likes that, even though Kurt's only just figured that out himself.

"I had dinner with Blaine, actually," he replies, already a little breathless.

Sebastian nips his earlobe. "Hmm, I know."

"Then why did you ask me?" Kurt asks, with a raised brow.

"I wanted to see if you'd tell me."

Kurt plants his hands on Sebastian's chest and holds him back. "Excuse me? What the _hell_ do you mean by that?"

Sebastian smirks but there's a glint of something in his eyes that Kurt thinks might actually be insecurity and it completely floors him.

"Now, don't get angry, sweetheart," Sebastian says, and even though it's shocked him Kurt's glad that he saw that moment in Sebastian's eyes because otherwise the tone of his voice would make Kurt want to hit him. "It's just that you've not always had the best judgement when it comes to Blaine. I just wanted to make sure we were past all that."

Kurt literally bites his tongue for a moment and counts to ten, willing himself to calm down because, for some unfathomable reason, he actually doesn't want to snap Sebastian's head off.

"Blaine is a friend," he says, when he can finally speak calmly. "A good friend, like Jeff and Nick. And my judgement is fine, thank you very much… unless you'd like to include yourself in that bad category?"

He's expecting Sebastian to snap back at him because he hasn't been too successful at keeping the annoyance out of his voice but instead Sebastian's smirk slowly turns into a smile that seems to be one of fond amusement.

"Okay," Sebastian says in a soft voice. "I'm sorry that I called your judgement into question… except I gotta say, I love it when you bite back," and before Kurt can respond to that, Sebastian kisses him.

After that, Kurt pretty much forgets whatever they were talking about.

The final Warbler's practice before Sectionals is that afternoon and Kurt comes out of it feeling a lot more positive about his own participation. It seems that the council decided on a set that has two solos for Blaine, and one for Sebastian, and the numbers are strong. Kurt's got a confident feeling that they can win, but when he thinks about New Directions he's not sure how he feels about that so he finds himself wishing that the competition, and his conflicted feelings about it, were already over.

He's hoping for a distraction when he gets back to his dorm room, and he's also nervous about that, because it's a Friday night and, in the past, Sebastian's always disappeared off campus. Now Kurt's just not sure where he stands or what Sebastian will do, so his heart thumps heavily when his phone vibrates and it's a message from Sebastian.

_Early movie?_

Kurt can't stop his wide smile as he arranges to meet Sebastian in the parking lot and even the ensuing argument about what they should see can't dim his mood because it's sort of a light hearted fight anyway.

And when they're in the theatre and Sebastian offers, with a raised brow and a smirk, to hold Kurt's hand, this time Kurt says yes.


	15. Chapter 15

Kurt can't ignore the fact that he feels almost sick to the stomach with nerves when he gets on the bus for Sectionals the next morning. He follows Blaine and Jeff up the aisle of the bus and takes a window seat near them and he's not so caught up in his own anxiety that he doesn't notice that they're both quieter than they would be normally.

He doesn't really want to think about anyone else's problems though so he lets out a little sigh of relief when Nick takes the seat next to him, and he tries to smile when Nick pats him on the shoulder.

"You look like you're gonna throw up," Nick says, looking at Kurt with eyes full of amusement. A moment later he looks a little worried. "You're not actually going to do that, are you?" he asks anxiously, and Kurt can't help laughing.

"No," he replies quietly. "If I do, I imagine it will be just before we go on stage when I'm probably going to feel ten times worse than I do now."

"Well, that's okay then," Nick says, grinning. "Thankfully, our choreography has me far enough away from you that I shouldn't be affected."

Kurt laughs again, and then falls silent and he's kind of grateful that Nick seems to realize that he doesn't really want to talk. He hears a familiar voice speaking and then a lot of laughter and glances along the bus to see Sebastian about to take his seat next to David. For a moment their eyes meet and Kurt's breath catches as he remembers the way that Sebastian had walked him to his dorm the night before, and then pressed him against the door and kissed him thoroughly. He can feel himself flushing at the memory and when Sebastian winks and raises a hand to his perfect tie, the flush deepens and Kurt quickly turns his head to look out of the window.

The bus ride to Sectionals takes about an hour and in that time Kurt's awash in memories of New Directions. Their bus trips to competitions had usually been either utter chaos or sulky silence depending on whatever disaster had befallen them and he can't help wondering what their mood is for the trip now.

The Warbler bus is completely different from what he's used to. It's not quiet, but there's also no dramatics going on, just a lot of good-humoured talking or teasing, and a few groups practicing with some soft singing. It's refreshing but Kurt's not sure if he really can get accustomed to that level of civilized behaviour.

He's also not used to the level of anxiety he's feeling about the competition. He's had performance nerves before, but never such a high amount, and his suspicion that a lot of what he's feeling is really about seeing his friends from McKinley again, is completely confirmed when the first person he sees, after they arrive, is Rachel Berry, arguing with the guy at the snack bar counter.

He takes a deep breath and approaches her, and his chest floods with relief when she turns, sees him, and gives him a wide, excited smile.

"Oh, Kurt," she says, taking his hand and squeezing it. "I'm so glad to see you. How are you? You look a bit pale, is everything all right at Dalton? Because if it's not then-"

"I'm fine, Rachel," Kurt interrupts, before she can really get going, but his anxiety lessens even more with her show of concern. "Dalton is fine."

"Oh, good," Rachel says, as they perch on a couple of stools. "Mercedes told us you had joined the Warblers, Kurt, and although they _are_ our competition, I must tell you that I'm happy for you."

Kurt bristles a little at the prim tone in Rachel's voice, but at the same time her eyes are full of sincerity and he finds himself confessing to her that he can't help feeling as if he's let the New Directions down in some way.

Rachel shakes her head. "No, Kurt," she says firmly. "You needed to be safe. We understand that. And we know how much you value and enjoy performing. We would never expect you to refrain from that when given the opportunity to do so, even if it is with an _inferior_ group."

"Well, thank you, Rachel," Kurt replies, blinking a little, but before he can say anything more, Rachel heaves a heavy sigh.

"But, oh Kurt," she says in a soft voice, leaning towards him. "Everything has fallen apart since you left. Mr. Schuester has given the duet to Quinn and Sam - so misguided for they don't have the chemistry needed to pull off a romantic duet even if they are dating - and he's taken _my_ solo and given it to _Santana_. We're doomed, Kurt, and I suppose I shouldn't be telling you this, but we can't possibly win now. Mr. Schuester's methods have always been questionable but I really think he's gone _insane_. And then there's _Finn_."

By the time Rachel finishes speaking she's practically hissing in Kurt's face, and he leans away from her warily.

"He slept with Santana, Kurt," she continues. "And then he lied to me about it."

Kurt's heart twists at the distress in her eyes because suddenly she's not just Rachel Berry, annoying, self-involved diva with occasional surprising moments of warm-hearted generosity, she's a young girl in bewildered pain… and she's also his friend. He slips off his stool and wraps an arm around her, and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"I know, Rachel," he says. "Finn called me after you found out. All I can say is that I think he should have told you about it before, but the truth is you weren't together when it happened. In fact you were with Jesse at the time, so don't you think that you can get beyond this and talk to Finn? As much as I can't believe I'm saying this I do think that you're both good for each other."

Rachel pulls back and her eyes look shiny and wet. "I'm sick of getting hurt, Kurt," she says. "Just for once, I want to be the one who does the hurting."

Kurt's eyes widen with alarm, but he hasn't even thought about what he can say to that, when he hears Blaine's voice calling his name.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Blaine continues, sending an apologetic smile towards Rachel, "but we're on before the intermission so we really need to get backstage."

Kurt nods, gives Rachel's hand a squeeze and then follows Blaine. He's still worried about Rachel but he kind of forgets about is as they assemble behind the curtain and wait to be announced. Jeff bounces beside him and then pats Kurt on the shoulder.

"You'll be great," he whispers, "and if you forget a move, hide behind me. I'll cover you."

Kurt gives him a grateful smile, and then the curtains open and his heart lurches as the first thing he sees is the row full of his friends, all looking up at him. Just for a moment he freezes, and then his eyes meet Rachel's and she gives him an encouraging smile. An instant later his nerves are gone and he's following Jeff through their first routine and for the first time since he joined the Warbler's, he feels fully involved and is thoroughly enjoying it.

It's a euphoric feeling when they finish their set and Kurt gets swept up in it as they flow off the stage, laughing and hugging. During the short intermission Kurt hopes that the New Directions are having a better time than they usually do just before they're about to go onstage, but for himself, he feels as if he's crossed a bridge. The Warbler's might not have the crazy individuality that the performers in New Directions do but there's something to be said for performing as part of a team, a sense of inclusion that Kurt's never experienced in quite that way before.

It's still very strange, and a little disturbing, to watch his friends perform and not be a part of it though. It's also strange to see Rachel and Finn relegated to the background and Kurt can't help feeling that Quinn and Sam weren't the best choice for the duet. They look sweet together but Quinn's voice, whilst lovely, really isn't strong enough and Kurt can't help feeling resentment on Mercede's behalf that Mr. Schuester once again hasn't featured her. Santana is a revelation though and Kurt finds himself thinking that she might be enough to carry the New Directions through… and that's not even counting Brittany and Mike's breathtaking dancing. He's not sure how he feels about that. As much as he loves them all, he also wants to win.

Blaine, who is sitting beside him, seems to sense his conflict because once the performance is over he leans closer to Kurt and offers him a sympathetic smile.

"They were great, Kurt," he says quietly. "I think it will be close and whoever wins will deserve it, I'm sure."

Kurt nods and then a hand lands on his shoulder, and he remembers that David and Sebastian are sitting behind them.

"Very fair-minded, Anderson," Sebastian says, his voice flat. "You're a credit to the Warblers."

Kurt looks around and he can see the slight flush on Blaine's face and the way his mouth is tight as if he's struggling to contain himself. The moment passes quickly though and then Blaine turns to smile back at Sebastian.

"Thank you for the compliment, Smythe," he says in a neutral voice and Sebastian cocks an eyebrow and looks amused.

"All right, then," David says. "How about we all go backstage and wait for the judge's verdict, and Kurt can have the chance to catch up with his friends."

There's a mass exodus after that but Kurt manages to snag Sebastian's sleeve as he trails behind them along the aisle.

"Why did you have to be so rude to Blaine?" he asks in a hissing whisper, and Sebastian actually laughs.

"I wasn't rude, sweetheart," he says. "You heard Blaine. He thanked me for the compliment."

"Only because he's far more polite than you'll ever be," Kurt snipes, and Sebastian laughs again.

They're just reaching the backstage area when Sebastian tugs on Kurt's hand and Kurt finds himself pulled behind a curtain and into a small alcove formed by a bit of discarded scenery. He gives Sebastian a startled look but in the dim light he can't really read Sebastian's expression very well.

"Now, don't pretend that you want me to be _polite_ with you, sweetheart," Sebastian says in a low voice, and in the next instant his lips are pressed against Kurt's.

For a moment, Kurt's completely flustered, both by the suddenness of the moment and the fact that he can still hear how close the other Warblers are to them, but then Sebastian's lips part and his tongue slides along Kurt's, and heat unfurls in Kurt's stomach.

He presses forward eagerly and when he hears Sebastian's soft moan it only makes him more eager. He could easily get addicted to the way Sebastian's mouth makes him feel and when Sebastian pulls away Kurt can't help the little gasp of disappointment that escapes him.

"I missed you this morning," Sebastian whispers into Kurt's ear, and the tone of the whisper makes Kurt's stomach flip. He can feel himself getting hard but it doesn't stop him from pressing closer to Sebastian.

"You just didn't want to have to fix your tie yourself," he manages to say and smiles when he hears Sebastian's little huff of laughter.

"Maybe I missed having to fix yours," he replies and then his lips are back on Kurt's and Kurt's lost in it again.

But he's not so lost that he doesn't notice the way Sebastian's hand is sliding up his thigh and creeping under his blazer. When Sebastian's fingers brush along the curve where his thigh meets the swell of his ass, Kurt gasps into Sebastian's mouth, and it's not with trepidation, because he's pretty sure that he wants Sebastian's hand to continue it's exploration.

The knowledge of that - the fact that he wants more - makes Kurt kind of freeze and Sebastian obviously senses it because he pulls away again.

"Okay?" he asks, and Kurt just stares at him, thankful for the weak light as the skin on his face tingles with heat.

"Yeah," he finally breathes. "Just… kiss me again."

And Sebastian doesn't hesitate. He pulls Kurt in tighter and his mouth is harder against Kurt's, chasing every movement that Kurt makes. Kurt slides his hands over Sebastian's broad shoulders, his fingertips tracing over Sebastian's collarbone and onto the smooth skin of his throat. Sebastian shifts even closer, his hands on Kurt's hips, and when his thigh slips between Kurt's legs, Kurt doesn't spare a moment of thought on whether he should allow it, he just rocks forward, fully aware that Sebastian can feel his aching, fully-erect cock.

Just as Sebastian's hands tighten on his hips, the bell calling them to the stage chimes, and they both groan with disappointment, and it's that sound, rather than the bell, that pulls Kurt out of the fog of desire he's been swept into. He steps back out of Sebastian's hold, and Sebastian immediately lets him go with a sigh of frustration.

"I'll go first, sweetheart. You follow," he whispers, and after pressing a swift kiss to Kurt's mouth, he's gone, and Kurt's left panting breathlessly in the curtained alcove and wondering just exactly what is happening to him.

He's felt romantic attraction before, even a certain level of desire, but it's never been anything close to what he's just experienced. He adjusts himself in his trousers, hissing a little at the sensation, willing himself to calm down and all he can think about is how much he wishes they hadn't been interrupted, and how much he wishes that Sebastian had actually touched him, and how maybe he's been a late bloomer but maybe it's time for him to find out a little more about sex.

The idea sobers him because there's a big difference between finding out and actually _doing_ , and he's pretty sure that he actually just came close to _doing_ …stuff… and in a fairly public place at that. He's still thinking about that as he's finally able to leave the alcove and silently take his place beside Blaine with the rest of the Warblers. He manages to wave at Mercedes but then it's all pretty much a blank until he finally comprehends that they've drawn a tie with New Directions.

It's a bit of an anti-climax really, but at the same time Kurt's thrilled that neither of them have lost, and it seems New Directions are happy about it too, because a few minutes later he's swamped by them. They're all talking at once and Kurt laughs at them, his heart swelling with warmth at the sight of them all. They haven't all always gotten along but there's a bond between them and he's glad that it still seems to be there, even as he winces at Puck's friendly but painful clap on his shoulder.

"Dude, I have to say that you and the gay Garglers sounded pretty good up there."

"It's the Warblers, Puck," Kurt says, straightening his sleeve, "and they're not all actually gay."

"Huh, I thought it was a gay school."

"Well it's obvious that it's not a gay school, Puck," Santana breaks in. "Because Kurt still looks disturbingly virginal."

Rachel rolls her eyes, and Kurt can feel his face heating up as he glances around to see if any of the Warblers, and in particular Sebastian, are nearby. Thankfully he can't see any of them and he's just turning back to Santana to tell her off, when she leans forward and places a smacking kiss on his cheek.

"Think about it a bit more before you blow up," she says, smirking in a way that reminds him of Sebastian. "Because that was actually a compliment. I mean, come on, if it _was_ a gay school a nice prize like you would have been jumped in the first week."

Kurt's eyes go wide, and for a brief heart-stopping moment he thinks that she somehow knows about the whole Dalton tradition, but when she looks at him curiously he forces himself to calm down.

"Well, I'm shocked that you actually know what a compliment is," Kurt finally manages to reply, and Santana smirks again.

"Do we have to talk about my brother as a prize?" Finn says in a pained voice.

"No, we do not," Kurt says firmly. "Besides, I wanted to tell you how great you were, and that I do miss you."

"Oh, boo," Mercedes says. "We miss you too. It just wasn't the same without you."

"No, it wasn't," Quinn agrees in a soft voice, taking his hand, and Kurt gives her a wobbly smile.

"I'm sorry to break this up." It's Sebastian's voice, and Kurt realizes that he's moved up behind him. "But our bus is waiting, Kurt, and we really should get going."

Kurt nods and steps back, suddenly anxious to get Sebastian away from them before Finn realizes exactly who he is, but it's already too late because Mercedes is beaming at him and holding out her hand.

"Hello, Sebastian," she says. "I don't know if you remember that we met but I'm…"

"Mercedes, yes," Sebastian says, taking her hand. "Of course I wouldn't forget you."

Mercedes smile widens and Kurt fights not to roll his eyes because she's obviously completely charmed by Sebastian, which means that she's going to be useless if he ever wants to talk to her about him.

"Well, we should-" he begins, but Finn interrupts him before he can finish.

"Oh, hey, dude. You're Sebastian," he says. "Kurt's mentor. I'm Finn, his brother."

Sebastian gives Finn a curious look. "Oh, so you're the one with the great timing," he says, and Kurt manages to keep the horror off his face but he does slowly press his heel into Sebastian's foot. Sebastian doesn't even flinch.

"Uh, yeah," Finn replies sounding puzzled. "Well, I just wanted to say thanks for helping my brother at Dalton."

"It's a pleasure," Sebastian says with another charming smile. "After all, us gay Garglers have to stick together, you know."

"I _knew_ it," Puck says triumphantly, and Kurt gives up. He waves goodbye and just walks off, letting Sebastian, who he can hear laughing quietly, trail behind him.

Kurt doesn't even look at Sebastian until they reach the bus and then he gives him one of his best glares. Sebastian opens his mouth and Kurt holds up a finger.

"No," he says. "If you say anything right now, I swear to god I will put laundry powder in your coffee on Monday morning. I may do it anyway because it's obvious it would do you good."

Sebastian gives him a contrite look that is entirely fake, and Kurt sighs and then ignores him completely, climbing onto the bus and taking his seat beside Nick.

The bus ride back to Dalton seems to go much faster than the bus ride out and Kurt figures that it's because everyone is so excited about their win. There's a lot of singing and laughing but Kurt still gets a quiet moment to think about what happened behind that curtain. He's still bemused by his physical response to Sebastian and he's not sure what he should think of it. He remembers the things that Nick had said to him the night of that embarrassing conversation about sex. And Kurt also remembers that he'd thought that Sebastian wasn't romantic enough for him, and it feels like everything is changing. Because there is more to Sebastian than Kurt had initially thought there was, even if he is annoying, and it also seems that maybe Kurt's getting closer to, as Nick had put it, 'wanting it all'.

Of course, he's going to have to find out what that 'all' might be, because whilst he's not completely ignorant of the actual mechanics he'd really like to know a bit more about how it all works... and feels. He's still wondering how he can accomplish that when the bus pulls into Dalton's long drive.

It seems the rest of the school has already heard that they're heading for Regionals because there's already a celebration in full-swing when they get back. They're practically given an escort of honor up to the senior commons and Kurt can't believe his eyes. He thinks about the way New Directions will turn up to school on Monday, with their trophy, and the rest of the school won't even notice them except to slushy them yet again, and it makes his throat feel tight.

That doesn't mean that once the party really gets started he doesn't enjoy it though. So far, the Warbler's and the other Dalton students have seemed a little too sedate at times to Kurt, but now he's finally seeing them let loose a bit… well, actually a lot… and it's a lot of fun.

There's loud music, a lot of dancing and some singing, and he's pretty sure that someone's spiked the punch. He spends most of his time with Nick, Liam, Blaine and Jeff with the occasional glimpse of Sebastian across the crowded room. As he drinks more of the punch those glimpses start to have more of a heated effect on him but at the same time he's glad they've kept away from each other because he's really very reluctant to be near Sebastian again until he's had time to think about things a bit more.

Eventually the party starts to wind down and the mood gets mellow. Kurt's long since given up on the punch and switched to soda but he's still feeling pretty floaty as he dances with a few other students near the fire. Someone's turned off the main lights, and now there's only firelight and a couple of dim lamps, and Kurt closes his eyes as he lets his body flow with the music.

Then there's a hand on his hip and warm breath near his ear but Kurt's eyes fly open when he hears Brad's low voice.

"Well, if it isn't Sebastian's little sweetheart," he says, and Kurt frowns.

"Not so little," he says, resentfully. "I'm about the same height as you, actually."

Brad gives him a smile that Kurt thinks is probably supposed to be charming and steps closer.

"Figure of speech," he says, and Kurt can clearly smell the alcohol on his breath, even if the slight slur to his words hadn't given him away.

"So, I have an invisat… invatit… I wanted to invite you to a little gathering in my room tomorrow night," he continues, following as Kurt backs away, and then his other hand is on Kurt's hip as well, framing him against the wall.

And Kurt knows what that's about because Brad's Sunday night porn parties have become a bit of a Dalton tradition, so he shakes his head.

"I don't think so," he says.

"Now, come on," Brad slurs. "It'll be fun. We'd really love to _have_ you there."

Brad's tone is heavily suggestive and Kurt winces a little. He feels hemmed in against the wall and whilst he knows nothing's really going to happen because there's still a fair amount of people in the room, he's also getting very uncomfortable with the way that Brad's looking at him and the way his hands are starting to wander. So, he takes a deep breath, ignores the way his heart's starting to beat hard in his chest with anxiety, and grips those hands, using them to push Brad away gently.

"Thank you, but no," he says firmly. "I'm really not interested."

"Sebastian won't be there," Brad whispers, stepping close again. "I'd really like to get to know you better, baby."

"That's flattering, but again, no," Kurt says, and this time he steps forward - using his momentum to make Brad stagger slightly - and then sideways to get away from the wall.

Brad's hand lands on his elbow and Kurt rolls his eyes with frustration but when he turns to remove it, he discovers that Brad's not actually looking at him. Instead, he's looking at Sebastian, who's now standing beside them.

"I think maybe you've forgotten the rules, Brad," Sebastian says quietly and firmly. "I know you're a tad drunk but I'd hate for your apparent amnesia to ruin our friendship. So, why don't you go stick your head in a bucket of water and sober up, before I do it for you."

Brad gives Sebastian a strange smirk but he raises his hands in a peacemaking gesture and then backs away. Kurt can't help feeling relieved but he's also fairly annoyed and resentful about the whole incident and when Sebastian turns to him with a smug smirk of his own, that resentment rises.

"I didn't need you to do that," he whispers furiously. "I can look after myself, thank you very much."

Sebastian raises an eyebrow in a way that Kurt can only describe as ironic.

"Then why did you become my canary?" he says. "I'm your mentor, sweetheart, and in case you've forgotten it's sort of my job to protect you from unwanted attention." Then he steps uncomfortably close and whispers in Kurt's ear. "Besides, I enjoyed it."

And Kurt's speechless… and blushing… and Sebastian looks pretty pleased about that.

"I'll talk to Brad tomorrow," Sebastian continues. "What just happened won't happen again."

There's now a note of reassurance in Sebastian's voice that does funny things to Kurt's stomach and, a little disturbingly, his heart.

"I'm tired," he says quickly, and it's obviously too abrupt because for a moment Sebastian looks startled. "I think I'll call it a night."

"I'll walk you to your dorm," Sebastian says blandly, and Kurt shoots him a sharp look.

"Do you think I need an escort?" he asks.

Sebastian grins and shakes his head.

"If you do, then it shouldn't be me," he says, and Kurt's thoroughly thankful that they're now out in the empty hallway because he can feel his face heating again.

Neither of them speak again until they reach Kurt's door and then Sebastian takes his hand, which makes Kurt's heart sort of contract in the same disturbing way it had only moments before.

"So, I was thinking that tomorrow we could go into Columbus if you like," Sebastian says. "Have lunch, and there's a good band playing at the coffeehouse in the afternoon. What do you think?"

There's a warm light in Sebastian's eyes and it makes Kurt swallow heavily.

"That would be great," he says, breathlessly.

"Meet me in the parking lot about noon?"

Kurt nods, and then Sebastian leans forward and brushes his lips against Kurt's. The movement holds, in a sweet and tender kiss that Kurt's just not expecting and it makes his hand tremble in Sebastian's clasp. He can taste the sweet tang of the punch in Sebastian's mouth, and also the alcohol, but he's pretty sure that Sebastian is nowhere near as drunk as Brad had been. A moment later the kiss ends, and Sebastian backs away, a slight smile on his face.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kurt," he says. "Sleep well."

Kurt can only nod as Sebastian disappears and then he goes into his dorm, with his heart pounding, and he's pretty certain that this time, he's definitely going on a date.

He gets ready for bed in a daze, wondering if he will actually be able to sleep, but the long day catches up with him, and he's dead to the world within a few minutes.

He wakes late, but not so late that he doesn't have time to concentrate on putting an outfit together and he does that while Jeff is in the bathroom, and it makes a good distraction for his wandering thoughts about Sebastian.

When Jeff comes out of the bathroom, Kurt can tell that he's put some effort into his clothing choice as well, and he gives him an impressed smile.

"You look good," he says, and then, without thinking, he asks, "Going somewhere with Blaine?"

Jeff's not facing him, but from the way his back seems to stiffen, Kurt's pretty sure that he's just said the wrong thing. Unfortunately his mind goes blank and he can't think of anything to say to fix it.

"No," Jeff says shortly. "I'm meeting someone else actually. I have a date."

Kurt's eyes widen. "A date?" His voice is a shocked squeak and it makes Jeff turn to look at him.

"Yes, a date," he says. "I do go on them occasionally, you know."

"Of course," Kurt says quickly, but he's still pretty flustered and he can't seem to make himself _shut up_. "It's just… I mean… I thought-"

"I'm not Blaine's boyfriend, Kurt," Jeff interrupts. "I don't know why you seem to think I am, but I'm _only_ his _canary_."

"Oh," Kurt says blankly, flushing as he remembers the kiss he'd seen that afternoon that now seems so long ago. Jeff frowns at him for a moment and then his eyes narrow.

"Why _did_ you think I was Blaine's boyfriend?"

Kurt takes a deep breath. "I… um… saw you together once… um, kissing," he says, and now it's Jeff who's blushing a deep red.

"Oh," he says, and he sort of drops down to sit on his bed and Kurt takes a seat on his own bed opposite and watches Jeff carefully.

His stomach is tight with tension and he can't think of anything to say, yet again, but at the same time, he really wants to know what's going on, so he's hoping that Jeff will feel like talking about it.

"Look," Jeff finally says. "I do… um… like Blaine, and so when he… well, I was happy to go along with it. But, you know, Blaine's hard to read sometimes, and well… I got the idea that maybe I liked him more than I should… more than he liked me. It's this fucking canary thing, you know, it's confusing… and so I decided to spend time with someone who I know really does like _me_."

By the time Jeff finishes, Kurt's actually feeling a little sick, and he swallows heavily against it. Jeff looks sort of miserable and so very young in that moment, too young to be saying what he's saying, and that just makes Kurt feel worse… and angry as well. He's as confused as Jeff, because Blaine is a real friend, and he can't believe that Blaine would take such advantage of Jeff.

"Have you talked to Blaine about this?" he asks, and Jeff flushes again and shakes his head.

"I think you should."

"What's the point?" Jeff bursts out, and he gets to his feet and pulls on his jacket. "You know how the fucking tradition works. I don't want him to know - I don't want _anybody_ to know - it's too embarrassing. So, forget we talked, Kurt."

Kurt's still sitting dumbly on his bed when Jeff reaches the door and turns to look at him again.

"But… just… be careful with Sebastian, okay Kurt," Jeff says quietly, and then he's gone, and Kurt stares at the closed door blankly.

Almost on autopilot, Kurt showers and dresses and styles his hair. He still can't quite believe what he's just heard; it's like some sort of awful nightmare. He remembers how uncomfortable he'd been about the idea of anyone finding out about him and Sebastian, because of the tradition, and it's just not right that either he, or Jeff, should be made to feel that way.

He fills Pavarotti's feeder and watches as Pavarotti chirps at him cheerfully and he can't even smile. In a few minutes he's supposed to go down and meet Sebastian, but he doesn't think he can, not now, not with this awful, horrible, _used_ feeling in the pit of his stomach. Because he's the same as Jeff - he's a canary getting involved with his mentor and he's actually not entirely sure what that means.

And then there's Blaine. Kurt has no idea how he'll react when he sees Blaine again, not after what he's just heard. He wants to believe the best of Blaine, but at the same time, Blaine has made Jeff feel so… and he can't even finish the thought.

He really just wants to hide for a while.

But, of course, the universe being what it is, there's immediately a knock on his door, and Kurt automatically opens it.

And, of course, it's Blaine.


	16. Chapter 16

There’s a long moment where Kurt stares blankly at Blaine and Blaine stares back, his eyes slowly filling with confusion.

“Hi Kurt,” he says, tentatively, and Kurt finally blinks.

“Um,” he manages to say, and Blaine looks even more confused as he walks past Kurt, who’s still holding the door, and glances around the room.

“So, I was looking for Jeff,” Blaine says.

“Um,” Kurt mumbles and closes the door. He turns to look at Blaine, and takes a deep breath, struggling to find some actual words. His mind is blank but when he sees the pleasant, polite curiosity on Blaine’s face, the anger rises in his chest and he finds himself wanting to throw something at Blaine’s head. Something very hard - in fact his hardcover of _War and Peace_ would be perfect.

Blaine obviously notices something wrong because he suddenly frowns and steps closer.

“Are you okay?”

Kurt nods. “Jeff’s not here,” he says, and whilst it’s a relief that he’s finally managed to say something (and he also hasn’t injured Blaine, or damaged his book), he’s fully aware that he hasn’t been able to keep the tension out of his voice.

Blaine’s frown deepens. “Okay,” he says slowly. “Um, do you know where he is?”

“He’s out,” Kurt replies, bluntly, and he can’t stop himself from adding. “We’re allowed to do that, you know. We don’t have to always tell you where we’re going. Or who we’re with.”

“What are you talking about?” Blaine asks, and his frown has morphed into a look of complete bewilderment that only seems to irritate Kurt even more.

“Canaries,” Kurt says, twisting his hands to try to contain his rising resentment. “You might think you get to _use_ us but that doesn’t mean you _own_ us. And if we decide we want to have a proper, _normal_ relationship with someone who’s not a _selfish asshole_ , then we have _every_ right to do that. Jeff has the right to do that, he has the right to be happy with someone.”

By the time Kurt’s finished, Blaine’s eyes are narrowed and he’s looking as furious as Kurt feels.

“What the hell, Kurt,” he says, in a quiet voice that almost seems to tremble with restrained anger. Kurt braces himself but Blaine’s next words send his mind reeling. “Are you actually trying to tell me that my boyfriend is _cheating_ on me? Because I won’t believe that Jeff would do that.”

Kurt’s mind is blank again and he stares at Blaine, frozen with surprise. But eventually he remembers the look on Jeff’s face as he’d explained that he and Blaine _weren’t_ boyfriends and disbelieving anger unwinds in his chest again.

“Boyfriend,” he says flatly, sceptical, eyes narrowed.

“Crap,” Blaine says. “I know I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but yeah. Jeff and I have been together for a while. And I won’t believe he’d cheat on me and I don’t understand why you’d talk about him like that. I thought you were our friend, Kurt.”

Kurt frowns, completely confused, but with a growing sense of unease. He crosses the room and sits down on his bed, shaking his head.

“I don’t understand any of this,” he says, watching as Blaine takes a seat on Jeff’s bed opposite. “I’m fast coming to the conclusion that Dalton is actually more insane than the glee club at McKinley.”

“Wait,” Blaine says. “Did you just call me a selfish asshole?”

Kurt winces. “Yeah, sorry about that,” he pauses and then adds, “I think. I’m still not entirely sure.”

“Well, thanks a lot,” Blaine says, with an odd mixture of amusement and annoyance in his voice. “But really, do you know where Jeff is? I’ve been sort of busy with a project lately, and I thought we could go to the movies or something.”

And Kurt’s back to staring at Blaine blankly again, a flush of embarrassment rising in his face and completely unable to think of anything to say, so he sees when Blaine’s eyes widen with dismay.

“You were serious?” he asks in a low voice. “Please Kurt, tell me. Where is he?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt says, and he’s not sure he’s doing the right thing but he has to tell the truth when Blaine’s looking at him like that. “But… he’s with… someone. Blaine, he doesn’t seem to think that you and he are… well. He doesn’t seem to think you’re his boyfriend.”

“What? Why?” Blaine demands, his hands clenching on his knees.

“Well… you’re his mentor,” Kurt explains, reluctantly, and as the blood seems to drain from Blaine’s face he knows that he doesn’t have to say anything more.

“Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Blaine’s head drops into his hands and Kurt quickly gets up, crosses the room, and takes a seat next to him on the bed, his hand gripping Blaine’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, and he can’t help feeling that it’s completely inadequate.

Blaine still hasn’t moved a moment later when there’s a light tap on the door. Before Kurt can say anything, it opens, and Sebastian walks into the room.

“Kurt, I thought we were meeting in the…” he begins, but when he sees Kurt and Blaine sitting on the bed, he stops and turns to close the door.

“What’s going on here?” he asks quietly, his voice so full of tension that Kurt looks up at him in surprise.

“Blaine and Jeff…” he falters. “Um… Blaine’s upset.”

“I can see that,” Sebastian replies, and whilst the tension is gone from his voice, there’s still some sort of wariness in his expression that Kurt just can’t read.

“I’m such an idiot.” Blaine says finally, his voice muffled in his hands.

“I won’t dispute that,” Sebastian says, leaning against the door.

Kurt shoots Sebastian a look of resigned disbelief but Sebastian just shrugs and smirks.

“Well, he is,” Sebastian continues. “He just admitted it himself.”

Blaine looks up, and it’s obvious by his dazed expression that he hasn’t heard anything that Sebastian has said. Kurt can’t help feeling relieved about that.

“But how could Jeff think that of me?” he asks Kurt, and his eyes are shining with unshed tears. “How could he think that I’d do that to him.”

An echo of that used, humiliated feeling he’d had earlier twists in Kurt’s stomach, and he flushes miserably as he glances at Sebastian and then takes Blaine’s hand.

“You’ve never been a canary, Blaine,” he says softly, but he can almost feel the way that Sebastian is suddenly listening intently. “You don’t know how it feels… how confusing it is. Especially when your mentor is… um… interested in you. It’s really hard to figure out what that means.” He sighs. “It shouldn’t be like this.”

Blaine nods thoughtfully. “Okay, I get that,” he says. “But, I thought that Jeff _knew_ me. And if he did, then wouldn’t he know that I wouldn’t use him like that? I love him, Kurt.”

Kurt’s suddenly flustered in the face of Blaine’s blunt confession and he’s still searching for something to say when Sebastian crosses the room and sits down on the other side of Blaine.

“The thing is Blaine,” Sebastian says, and there’s a compassionate note to his voice that makes Kurt even more flustered. “The thing is, you were kind of acting like the perfect little Dalton robot.”

“I was just trying to fit in,” Blaine says, defensive.

“Yeah, I get that now, but you really did a good job. Too good, actually. To be honest, I thought you were a bit of an asshole about the mentor thing and I’m sorry I misjudged you on that. I guess I’m not the only one who didn’t understand you though and you need to talk to Jeff about this more clearly.”

There’s a long moment of silence where Blaine digests this and then he shakes his head, and Kurt’s heart sinks at the dejected expression in his eyes.

“I can’t,” he says. “What’s the point? Jeff’s gone off with someone else because he thinks I’m a manipulative bastard who took advantage of him. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Blaine-“ Kurt begins but Blaine shakes his head again and quickly gets to his feet.

“No, I can’t,” he repeats. He gets to the door but then he turns to look at Sebastian. “But this mentor tradition sucks and I won’t be a part of it. Not ever again. So, I’m discarding Jeff. All I ask is that you make sure he doesn’t end up with another mentor as stupid as me.”

A second later he’s gone and Kurt’s still staring at the door when he hears Sebastian let out a little huff of amusement.

“Dramatic little thing when he wants to be, isn’t he?” he says, and Kurt can only shake his head at him in resigned disapproval.

“Well, he is, sweetheart,” Sebastian says firmly. “And that’s fine. It’s certainly more human at least.” He’s smiling at Kurt and his eyes are sparkling in the way that Kurt always seems to find hard to resist, so Kurt can’t help smiling as they stare at each other.

But then the sparkle in Sebastian’s eyes slowly fades and Kurt’s shoulders tighten with tension.

“I think _we_ should talk about this more clearly even if Blaine and Jeff won’t,” Sebastian says in a low voice and Kurt lets out a little sigh of resignation and nods.

“I heard what you said to Blaine,” Sebastian continues. “About confusion. I told you I believe that things really should be clear between a mentor and his canary and now we’ve seen what happens if they aren’t. I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“I don’t either,” Kurt says softly. He meets Sebastian’s steady gaze for a few moments, his heart seems too heavy in his chest all of a sudden, and he has to look away. The thing is, he’s pretty sure that Sebastian wouldn’t deliberately mislead him, but Kurt’s fairly worried that he might have been misleading himself about what’s been happening between them.

“I don’t want to feel like Jeff does,” he says, and his throat feels so constricted that it’s almost too much of a struggle to get the words out. “I don’t want to just be someone’s… canary.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Out of the corner of his eye Kurt sees Sebastian run a tense hand through his hair and something sinks in his heart. A second later he realizes that it was hope.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian finally says, and Kurt can clearly hear the flat finality in his voice. “I really like you Kurt, but… I meant it when I said I don’t do boyfriends and if that makes you feel like you’d _just_ be my _canary_ , then there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t give you what you want.”

“Only what I don’t want,” Kurt mumbles through numb lips. And that’s exactly how he feels, numb, and he just hadn’t realized how much he’d come to actually _like_ Sebastian but he must have, and liked him a lot, to feel this much disappointment. He still can’t look at him, even when Sebastian suddenly gets to his feet and heads for the door.

He stops though and turns back and Kurt finally looks at him. Sebastian’s face is tight and expressionless and for some reason it makes Kurt feel a little sick.

“I won’t approach you again,” Sebastian says, and his voice is as tight as his face. “And if you want me to discard you, let me know, but I’d like to think we’ve managed to become friends.” He stares at Kurt for a moment and then sighs. “I don’t want to hurt you, Kurt.”

Kurt knows Sebastian wants some sort of response, so he just nods, and Sebastian leaves, his final words still echoing in Kurt’s ears.

“Too late,” Kurt whispers to the closed door. “You already have.”

Five minutes later he’s _still_ staring at the door, wondering how this day, that had seemed like it was going to start so well, has turned into such a disaster.

He can’t help feeling a little like it’s his own fault. He’d got carried away, in the way he always does, he thinks, remembering Blaine and… Finn… but it had all been so new to him. He has to admit that he thinks Sebastian is hot and his own reaction to Sebastian’s attraction had stirred up feelings and desires he’d never had before and he’d been swept away with it.

Eventually he sighs and wanders over to Pavarotti’s cage to top up his seed dish. Pavarotti chirps at him cheerfully and Kurt sighs again, trying to ignore the way his eyes are stinging with unshed tears. He’s _not_ going to cry over Sebastian.

“It just would have been nice if it had mattered, that’s all,” he whispers, and Pavarotti chirps again, as if he’s agreeing.

And that’s what it comes down to, Kurt thinks. It just hadn’t mattered; _he_ hadn’t mattered. Once again, he just wasn’t _worth_ the effort. It had been like that at McKinley and now it had happened again.

Feeling a little sick at the direction of his own thoughts, Kurt sits down at his desk searching for any kind of distraction. Finally he realizes that he really should give Jeff some sort of warning about what has happened and he shoots off a quick text suggesting that Jeff gets back to Dalton as soon as he can.

Because, despite Blaine’s misgivings, Kurt likes to think that perhaps there is still something that can be salvaged out of the whole mess, that maybe something can work out for Blaine and Jeff after all, and when Jeff gets back twenty minutes later with a pale face, Kurt feels even more determined.

“What the hell is going on?” Jeff demands as soon as he’s shut the door. “First I get this text from you telling me to come back, and then I’m almost here when I get a text from Blaine telling me he’s _discarding_ me?” Kurt hears the sheer disbelief and confusion in Jeff’s voice and he winces.

“Kurt, tell me,” Jeff continues. “I can see already that you know something… and it’s not good.”

“Blaine came by looking for you, Jeff,” Kurt says. “And I’m sorry but it all sort of came out about where you were.”

Jeff frowns and Kurt hadn’t thought it was possible for him to look any paler but, still, his face seems to whiten even more.

“So what?” he says, a hint of defiance in his voice. “It’s not against the rules to see someone when you’re a canary. Just look at Nick and Liam. Nick was Sebastian’s canary when he got together with Liam.”

Deep down Kurt knows that Jeff’s bravado is all about hiding his own disappointment and hurt but it annoys him all the same. Because he’s had just about enough of all this foolishness. So far, it’s ruined his day and, as far as he can see, his fledgling _something_ with Sebastian… and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let Blaine and Jeff’s stubbornness ruin anything else.

“Blaine seems to think that it might be against the rules to see someone _else_ when you’re _already_ someone’s boyfriend,” Kurt says with flat sarcasm. “In other words, he thought that you two were… together.”

“Yeah, we had this conversation already, Kurt,” Jeff replies resentfully. “So, don’t get snarky with me. You know that I’m not Blaine’s boyfriend. Now, tell me, why is he discarding me?”

“Why don’t you go and ask _him_ that question?” Kurt says. His voice rises and he sees Jeff’s look of surprise. “Because I’m telling you that he sat here with the very firm idea that you two were together… and not just as the canary and mentor thing. He’s upset that you thought otherwise.”

“ _He’s_ upset?”

“Oh my god, Jeff,” Kurt says impatiently. “Will you just go and talk to him and sort this out? I don’t know how the hell you two got this far with this sort of misunderstanding but obviously a _long_ conversation is _long_ overdue. He likes you, you like him. Forget about the whole fucking Dalton Tradition thing and just talk to each other as _boyfriends_.”

Jeff stares at Kurt for a long moment and then blinks. “Kurt, you just swore. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you do that before.”

“Yeah, well, Dalton’s finally cracked me.”

His laugh is slightly bitter but Jeff, who is still leaning against the door, doesn’t seem to notice. Instead he stares at Kurt with a hopeful expression.

“Are you sure about this, Kurt?” he asks in a soft voice and the vulnerability in it makes Kurt forgive his hesitance.

“I’m sure,” Kurt replies firmly. “Blaine’s too confused to take the initiative Jeff. He just wants to hide at the moment, so if you want to sort this out, I think it’s going to have to be you to make the move. That means if you want him that’s what you’ll have to do, as soon as possible. I can only tell you that so many times.”

“Okay then,” Jeff nods, and a moment later he’s gone, leaving Kurt to look forward to a long boring afternoon of bleak thoughts.

He’s distracting himself by cleaning Pavarotti’s cage when he gets a text from Jeff half an hour later.

‘ _All sorted_ ,” the text says. ‘ _We’re going on a date tomorrow night and this time we both know that’s what it is. Thanks Kurt I owe you.’_

Well, that’s just… nice, Kurt thinks, that’s very… _nice_ … for them. He can’t help feeling some envy over the way they’ve been able to sort it out and arrange a date when he’s dawdling around on his own at a time when he should have been on a date himself.

He wonders if, or when, he’ll ever finally get to go on a date. He’d come close, he thinks, because last night it had really seemed like that’s what Sebastian had been asking him to do. And then he realizes, in a moment of startling clarity, that Sebastian _had_ asked him on a date. In fact, it feels like he’s actually been _dating_ Sebastian since the night they’d gone to the sports store.

So what on earth did that mean? Was Sebastian even aware of the way he’d been acting… or had he been doing it deliberately just to get Kurt exactly where he wanted him?

Does it really matter though? Kurt wonders apathetically, and then he decides, with a firm nod of his head, that yes actually, it fucking well does. Because he's _Kurt Hummel_ , he's fierce and fabulous and he _matters_ and he wants, no, he _deserves_ a better explanation than that Sebastian just doesn’t do boyfriends.

And he’s going to get one. Right now.

On his way to Sebastian’s room Kurt realizes that Sebastian might not even be there – that he might have reverted back to his normal weekend behaviour and gone off looking for one of his ‘hot dates’. The thought hurts, he can’t deny it, and he almost turns back but he steels himself as he hovers outside Sebastian’s door, and eventually knocks loudly.

The door opens a few moments later and Sebastian’s standing there, looking rather confused.

“Kurt?”

“May I come in, please?”

Sebastian steps back and Kurt walks past him into the room. He doesn’t take his usual seat; he really doesn’t want to have this conversation with Sebastian towering over him more than he already does.

“I suppose you’ve come to tell me you want me to discard you,” Sebastian says. “Well, I’ll try to-“

“Oh, it’s not going to be that easy for you,” Kurt interrupts, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “I’ve actually come for a bit more of an explanation than you’ve so far deigned to give me. Oh, and just to be clear this is not a conversation between a ‘canary’ and his ‘mentor’. This is a conversation between _us_.”

“I think the kisses we’ve had,” he continues, hopelessly willing himself not to blush, “means that I deserve more information than ‘I don’t do boyfriends’.”

Sebastian leans back against his desk and crosses his arms.

“Oh, do you?”

“Yes, I do,” Kurt replies firmly. “Why are you so dead-set against having a boyfriend anyway?”

“Maybe a better question for you to think about is why do you want one so much?” Sebastian responds, and Kurt can see the spark of irritation in his eyes. “You’ve never had one but I have and I can tell you that it’s not worth the effort. Is that enough of an explanation for you?”

“Nope,” Kurt says, deliberately popping the ‘p’. “So, what? You had one bad experience did you? What happened? He cheated on you? Got bored? So what does that mean… you’re eighteen and that’s it for you? For the rest of your life, no more boyfriends, no more chances to find someone who you can love, someone who’ll love you. That’s sad and you know what it makes you? A coward.”

Not for the first time in his life, Kurt thinks that maybe he’s pushed a little too far, particularly when he sees the set, white look on Sebastian’s face and the plain fury in his eyes. But Kurt’s fairly furious himself in that moment and it makes him ignore his own anxiety in favor of being reckless. Besides, he’s only telling it like it is.

“Oh you’re so full of shit flinging around words like coward, aren’t you sweetheart?” Sebastian finally says, and his voice is cold and hard. “Because let’s be real clear here then. I want to fuck you and you’re too scared to admit that you want the same thing. You’re too scared to admit that you want to just go for it and find out what it’s really like just to have sex with someone like me. You have to gloss it over with ‘romance’ and ‘dating’ and ‘boyfriends’ just to get yourself to the point where you can unclench enough just to let someone kiss you.”

For a moment Kurt is almost blind with anger and a fair amount of embarrassment over how … blunt… Sebastian has been. He’d always thought that ‘seeing red’ was just a trite phrase but he’s pretty sure that what he _can_ see definitely has a tinge of crimson to it. He grinds his teeth and wills himself to calm down enough to actually say something sensible because Sebastian has blindsided him and he knows that it’s exactly what Sebastian intended to do.

“Maybe you’re the one who is full of shit, Sebastian, because you might have failed to notice that _you_ were the one that was setting up ‘dates’ and making up so-called _romantic_ verse. Not me. I think you _like_ me and I think that’s part of why you claimed me.”

The smirk that Sebastian gives him is more of a sneer and Kurt forces himself to ignore it.

“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,” Sebastian says. “Sure, I’ve admitted that I’d like to get into your pants but if you’re not up for that, then there’s always someone else out there who is. Makes no difference to me.”

For a moment Kurt feels like he’s almost frozen and he has to admit to himself that the words hurt, that the words dig into a soft place inside him where he’s tried to shield all of his insecurity and doubt about just how attractive he is.

He’s still staring at Sebastian when the anger seems to drain from Sebastian’s face and a hint of regret dawns in his eyes.

“Look, Kurt, I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “There’s no point in us arguing like this. We already know that we can’t give each other what we want.”

And he’s so sick of hearing about what he can’t have or what he can’t be or what he can’t _want_ , that Kurt makes a snap decision fuelled by the sense of rebellion that he’s firmly been squashing since the beginning of the school year. It had started with the Britney Spears debacle when he’d flared up at Mr. Schuester - and after his Dad’s heart attack and the whole duets fiasco, not to mention Karofsky, it had just been easier to squash himself down and avoid any more risks. But not anymore.

“Actually there is a point,” Kurt says calmly. “Because I’m going to call your bluff, Sebastian. I can admit that it’s true, I am curious about doing… stuff… with you and maybe it’s time I learnt. And hell, I figure there’s a lot you can teach me.”

Sebastian frowns at him, his eyes brimming with confusion. When he finally speaks his hesitant voice betrays just how much Kurt has, in his turn, blindsided him.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Kurt.”

“Why not? You’ll be getting what you want and it’s not like you’ll be risking anything, is it? After all, you don’t have any feelings for me, other than some sort of friendship and basic attraction, so you won’t be at risk of falling in love or anything. Because, as you say, you don’t do that.”

“Kurt-“

“When would you like to start?” Kurt interrupts, and yeah, it feels good to be pushing but at the same time his heart is now thumping so hard that he’s not so much worried that Sebastian will hear it, than that it might mean that he could collapse on Sebastian’s floor. He’s also fully aware that once this conversation is over he’s going to be blushing overtime about the things he’s been saying, but for the moment he holds the embarrassment (and the imminent collapse) at bay.

“You don’t meant it,” Sebastian says, his voice now taking on more certainty.

“Actually I do,” Kurt says firmly, and despite his heart working overtime in his chest, he realizes that he does. He does mean it – he wants to do this. Not only does he want to take this gamble on Sebastian he’s also already feeling a little overheated at the thought of what they can do together.

“Let’s forget everything about canaries and mentors, Sebastian,” he says softly. “Let’s just do this because we’re attracted to each other and we both want to do it. I’m making a choice and I’m choosing you because I like you and because I finally get to make a choice here. Which is a nice change, I can tell you.”

Sebastian’s still staring at him, a perturbed look in his eyes, but as Kurt watches his expression changes to a smile that Kurt can’t quite read.

“Well, you’re very… tempting,” Sebastian says in a soft, smooth voice. “But I have a feeling that _I’d_ be the one calling _your_ bluff, sweetheart. Because this doesn’t really seem like you at all.”

And Kurt can’t help it, he actually snorts and enjoys the sight of Sebastian’s eyes widening with surprise.

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Kurt says. “But I guess you’ll have to take the risk to find out.”

He steps closer to Sebastian and rests a hand against his chest. Butterflies are wreaking havoc in his stomach but the warmth he can feel under his palm does a lot to settle him, and that fact reinforces Kurt’s resolve, because despite everything he still _trusts_ Sebastian.

“What are you going to do?” he whispers and when he sees the flush that comes into Sebastian’s face he’s fairly proud that his first attempt at seduction doesn’t seem to have been a complete disaster.

“Nothing,” Sebastian answers, and Kurt’s heart plummets along with his fragile confidence.

“Nothing right now,” Sebastian continues, and really Kurt prays that the sudden roller-coaster ride to hope doesn’t show on his face. “This is… sudden. I think you need… I think we _both_ need to think about this. We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

Kurt nods and he can tell from the expression in Sebastian’s eyes that he’s thoroughly convinced that Kurt will back down once he’s had time to think. And that just makes him more determined not to give in. He’s well aware that he does need to think, he’s aware that he’s made a quick decision about something that really matters to him, and that he’s risking a lot on that decision. But at the same time he wants the risk and Kurt’s finally decided that he’s allowed to want things.

He wants Sebastian and, come what may, he’s going to try his hardest to have him.

“Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

He leaves the room quickly, knowing that he’s heading for a fairly sleepless night of intense thought. He has to be prepared for the fact that Sebastian might say no, and he also has to be prepared for the fact that he might say yes. Both of those options carry their own unique trials.

Not to mention the fact that Sebastian has still managed to avoid talking about exactly what happened that made him so down on the idea of having a boyfriend… and Kurt has to admit that he feels kind of guilty about the way he’d taunted Sebastian over what might have happened in that relationship.

Still, he knows that in some way he’s right. That Sebastian is too young to be so jaded about relationships to the point where he’s closed himself off from the idea and there’s something about him that makes Kurt want to try to get him to see that.

He just hopes, that in the end, it will be worth it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Fanart] It’s a Dalton Tradition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/632045) by [MySnarkySelf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MySnarkySelf/pseuds/MySnarkySelf)




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